You can't quit for other people
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 4,784
You can't quit for other people
No matter how much you love them.
My sober streaks over the years were for my parents. But I still let alcohol have a pull over me and inevitably I'd relapse.
But this morning I'm suddenly imagining a future for myself that didn't involve alcohol. Before, I'd picture being a year sober and having people being proud of me. Now I picture myself a year sober with a degree and a job I like and good mental health. And other people not being pissed off is a bonus.
You have to want to be sober for yourself as well as other people
My sober streaks over the years were for my parents. But I still let alcohol have a pull over me and inevitably I'd relapse.
But this morning I'm suddenly imagining a future for myself that didn't involve alcohol. Before, I'd picture being a year sober and having people being proud of me. Now I picture myself a year sober with a degree and a job I like and good mental health. And other people not being pissed off is a bonus.
You have to want to be sober for yourself as well as other people
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Well said, FF. I drank for years after I realized it wasn't really working anymore but I didn't feel "ready" to stop. Eventually, like you, I reached a point where I really wanted to be sober more than I craved being drunk. I hope this is the moment for you!
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 280
This is one of the reasons I am on my longest sober streak yet and don't ever imagine life without alcohol.
- I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink (something I learned here and carry with me everyday)
- I felt done. Over it. For me. It wasn't after a bad episode. Or a binge. I wasn't hungover this time when I quit. I just was fine.
- this was my decision. I own it. Therefore, I don't feel like I'm missing out on the fun. I'm not resentful. If I want to drink, I'll drink. But I don't. It's a lifestyle change.
- never, ever give into the moderation trick. It's simply not possible once you cross the line. Read Alcohol Explained by William Porter.
- fading affect bias. This got me many times. Google it.
- I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink (something I learned here and carry with me everyday)
- I felt done. Over it. For me. It wasn't after a bad episode. Or a binge. I wasn't hungover this time when I quit. I just was fine.
- this was my decision. I own it. Therefore, I don't feel like I'm missing out on the fun. I'm not resentful. If I want to drink, I'll drink. But I don't. It's a lifestyle change.
- never, ever give into the moderation trick. It's simply not possible once you cross the line. Read Alcohol Explained by William Porter.
- fading affect bias. This got me many times. Google it.
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