Boggle10

Just as it says, I'm an absolute t.t, I've loved being sober I even liked me, but I now know, well I knew all along I live with a narcissistic a hole, as any of you have read my threads you will know I'm arthritic, well I've now just in the last month been told its in my spine as well, now it's rubbing on discs and they are wearing away, I feel like I'm falling apart, I'm in so much pain every day, he never lifts a hand in the house to help, then when his friends come in he's all laughing and joking, when I speak its a blunt answer, even his friends have looked at me as if to say wtf, I've ask him to help more as my bones are in agony, his answer, sure when I hurt my back I had to go to work, so I have bloody gave in, and I'm now regretting it very much, so here goes me another time, I feel pathetic and p'd off at myself, x

Mummyto2

Don't be pi**ed off, many have succumb me included many times, the main thing is to pour away the poison and get back to that happy place, sit you're partner/husband down and literally tell him how you feel, how he is making you feel and don't hold back, you've got this, if you didn't want to get back you wouldn't have posted here, well done good job 👍

Boggle10

I've already done this with him a thousand times, he said to me yesterday, after drinking six Stella, we're you drinking, I said you can judge me when your clean and sober yourself, he's a complete selfish pr.. K

fishkiller

We cannot let anything get in the way of our sobriety.

Mummyto2

The first priority is getting and staying sober, you can deal with everything else as you become stronger in you're sobriety good luck rooting for you 👍

Scd619x

It's all part of the journey, the vast majority of us will drink again quite a few times before it finally sticks. The good news is that you've proved you can do 293 days so you know you can do it and do it again. You need to be kind to yourself, eat well and try and get some rest. What you do not want to do is put unreasonable demands and expectations on yourself, you have not failed as there is no measuring stick or medal to win or cash prize lol. When you are ready, might even be today, might not then you know what you need to do to get sober again, which is a lot better position that you were in last time you quit.

Your home life sounds tough along with your health issues, i hope something changes for you.

Mizz

Sobriety
Relationship
Health

There are solutions to all three and will require daily maintenance. Physical pain on a daily basis can really start to wear a person down. I do hope you are working closely with your doctor and together the two of you can work towards decreasing the inflammation to a more manageable level. It may be a long long road but you can get there. I struggled with daily back pain for years so I do understand how frustrating it can be. Don't give up and do not be defeated. You will find a solution.

You had 293 days of sobriety and you can have 293 days again. It shows that you had determination. Its just time to bring out your fighting spirit and conquer this again. You can do it. That first step in not reaching for alcohol as a solution is the best step.

Your relationship does sound unhealthy. We are all meant to be happy. We are not stuck anywhere really. You can choose to have a different outcome and choose to live the life you truly want to live. It may not be with this person you are sharing your time with. Keep searching for the answers that you inherently have. YOU CAN DO THIS!

I believe in you. Believe in yourself too.

advbike

Boggle, it is amazing that you were able to go 293 days under those circumstances. You are a strong person. So proud of you and you should be too! Please get right back to it - you have not "lost" all that time, your body, brain and emotional health gained tremendously. A few drinks doesn't destroy all of that benefit.. unless you keep drinking.

Part of the problem with lengthy sobriety is we begin to gain clarity about the situations we are in. Sometimes it is uncomfortable, and it is one of the reasons I relapsed so many times - because I didn't want to accept that the situation was not right, and endure the pain of accepting or or changing it. This is a natural reaction, especially for an addict, because we tend to want to avoid pain.

I believe you can change your situation if you want to. But you will have to stay sober. Also, have you ever tried yoga? There are gentle forms that are amazingly healing for the spine. Seriously, this has been known for centuries. I wish you the best on your journey - you inspire me Boggle.

Anna

Boggle, I'm sorry that your husband isn't respecting your concerns and helping out in the house. Is it possible for you to hire someone to come in and do the heavy work?

I hope you get back to your recovery. You've been doing great.

Hodd

I second advbike’s view that 293 days under such trying conditions, not to mention Covid, is far from a f*** up. You’re way tougher than me and most of us here it sounds like.

Difficult to know what to say when your husband drinks and isn’t sympathetic. You need to worry about yourself and get as much support as possible with these medical issues. Is there any sort of physio or similar that can help?

Ringside

Sorry to hear about your situation...there's no problem drinking won't make worse.

Dee74

I’m sorry Boggle your pain and your home life sounds tough.
I really believe tho that drinking not the answer - I never solved any problem by drinking at it.

283 days is awesome. I know you want to stay sober .

Staying sober gave me the wherewithal to do hard things - I know you can do hard things too

D