Wondering if anyone has been able to moderate
Member
Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: Poole, Dorset
Posts: 532
I have never been able to moderate, in truth it flies in the face of everything I believe when I take that first drink. What would be the point when what I really want is to drink, then to drink, then to drink some more, until I pass out that is.
Sobriety is a far easier option believe me 🙂
Love Billy x
Sobriety is a far easier option believe me 🙂
Love Billy x
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
Originally Posted by advbike 
But it is a massive amount of work to control it. I still get the cravings, you see, I just have a massive amount of self-control.
And even that "moderate" quantity inevitably results in messed up sleep and nightime anxiety, shame, bingeing on crap food, fatigue and irritability, laziness and constant thoughts of what time I can have my first one the next day.
When we are still in the addiction - no matter the amount, even if we are seemingly managing it - in reality the addiction is managing us. The addiction is fully in control. And while it is in control, there can be no growth in other areas.
I choose sobriety instead of that nightmare now.
And even that "moderate" quantity inevitably results in messed up sleep and nightime anxiety, shame, bingeing on crap food, fatigue and irritability, laziness and constant thoughts of what time I can have my first one the next day.
When we are still in the addiction - no matter the amount, even if we are seemingly managing it - in reality the addiction is managing us. The addiction is fully in control. And while it is in control, there can be no growth in other areas.
I choose sobriety instead of that nightmare now.
Moderation never truly worked for me, as much as I tried to convince myself otherwise.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 710
I quit smoking and drinking at the same time over two years ago. I had quitted both so many times before.
Ten or eleven months into sobriety I had the great idea to have one cigarette. Only one of course and it worked! For a few weeks. Since it had worked (apparently I had learned from the many failed attempts before that one) I lit another cigarette for another special occasion (involving me hiding in some car park). It worked again! So I decided to smoke again a week or so later. And the week after that. It was going so well, that I started smoking only one every day, then 5, 10, etc.
This time I did not let it go for too long and quit again and I really really hope I don't ever light one cigarette again. It is hell to quit every time. My ability to moderate drinking is exactly the same as my ability to moderate my smoking
Ten or eleven months into sobriety I had the great idea to have one cigarette. Only one of course and it worked! For a few weeks. Since it had worked (apparently I had learned from the many failed attempts before that one) I lit another cigarette for another special occasion (involving me hiding in some car park). It worked again! So I decided to smoke again a week or so later. And the week after that. It was going so well, that I started smoking only one every day, then 5, 10, etc.
This time I did not let it go for too long and quit again and I really really hope I don't ever light one cigarette again. It is hell to quit every time. My ability to moderate drinking is exactly the same as my ability to moderate my smoking
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
No. I absolutely, unequivocally, beyond the shadow of a remote doubt , CAN N O T moderate with alcohol
And I believe me I tried for 30 years. Infact, I tried harder at that than any other single thing in my whole life. It's the thing I wanted almost more that anything.
Imagine that....
But I can with nicotine and marijuana. Neither of which give me that uncontrollable pull that alcohol does.
I can take or leave both of them, without issue at all. Smoking for me was only when I drank, and now that I dont drink I dont smoke.
Same with pot. It only served to keep in marginally numb a bit longer while drinking.
But booze ? Yikes. One single sip, and my brain goes literally off the rails.
And I dont want to have to fight that hard to remain in control. It's too hard and I fail every time. Thousands of times over the years.
And I believe me I tried for 30 years. Infact, I tried harder at that than any other single thing in my whole life. It's the thing I wanted almost more that anything.
Imagine that....
But I can with nicotine and marijuana. Neither of which give me that uncontrollable pull that alcohol does.
I can take or leave both of them, without issue at all. Smoking for me was only when I drank, and now that I dont drink I dont smoke.
Same with pot. It only served to keep in marginally numb a bit longer while drinking.
But booze ? Yikes. One single sip, and my brain goes literally off the rails.
And I dont want to have to fight that hard to remain in control. It's too hard and I fail every time. Thousands of times over the years.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,922
Originally Posted by PeacefulWater12
It did not work for me. A complete quit is far easier.
Now before any recent quitters think “you smug ****!”, my withdrawal was as grim as anyone’s, but in retrospect the cravings lessened quite quickly. Trying to moderate every few weeks just brings the cravings back with interest added.
I keep repeating myself about an acquaintance who’s an alcoholic who moderates. He usually sticks to the U.K. healthy weekly limit, but his mind is messed up every evening and even more so when his weekly stash has finished. It’s pitiful to watch. No life at all. So compared to that, I can say my total quit was easier.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: London
Posts: 333
I could never do it, it tried a few times but quickly learned that i couldn't and didn't really want to moderate. I would never just have two beers if i was going out eating and had to drive, i would have soft drinks as i drank for the feeling and sure as hell didn't want to stop at two!
I have known a lot of heavy drinkers who have moderated successfully for decades but i am never going to be one of them.
I couldn't have 5 cigarettes a day when I smoked either, I could force myself to not smoke for a few hours if I was doing something that required it but would then smoke like a chimney for the rest of the day. I can't just have one biscuit either!!
I have known a lot of heavy drinkers who have moderated successfully for decades but i am never going to be one of them.
I couldn't have 5 cigarettes a day when I smoked either, I could force myself to not smoke for a few hours if I was doing something that required it but would then smoke like a chimney for the rest of the day. I can't just have one biscuit either!!
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 96
I could moderate for a while. Maybe 3 weeks, maybe 6 weeks... Eventually, sooner than later, I'd end up right where I left off.
I had a friend's wife recently ask me, "why don't you have just one or two?" I replied without even thinking about the question or my answer, "what's the point in having one or two?"
If I'm going to drink, I'm going to drink like I mean it. One or two would never be enough to satisfy.
I had a friend's wife recently ask me, "why don't you have just one or two?" I replied without even thinking about the question or my answer, "what's the point in having one or two?"
If I'm going to drink, I'm going to drink like I mean it. One or two would never be enough to satisfy.
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