Hodd

Was back in my home town at the weekend. Not been for a couple of years so it was nice to have an early (9am) walk around. I noticed a youngish guy with a pullover on with the logo of my football/soccer team. No surprise as the stadium is less than two miles from where I was walking. What was more of a surprise was the guy stopping, pulling out a medium-sized vodka bottle and taking a big swig. He went around the corner and in the opposite direction to me.

I don’t make this my mission in life, but maybe I should’ve said something. His life is going to be s*** if not already. No doubt about that. I never got a taste for spirits, and I certainly never drank any alcohol at 9am. I could’ve asked for directions as a pretence, mentioned his football top and then dropped in I’d been an alcoholic. I might’ve got an earful for my troubles, but I reckon if someone humble, down to earth and I have to say this, not religious, said the same to me years ago, it may well have added to the cumulative things that eventually stopped me drinking.

In retrospect, I should’ve said something. If after asking for durections, he’d been too incoherent or abusing, I’d have let it be. Not going to lose sleep over it, but it would’ve been better or at least more interesting to have spoken up.

Dee74

I dunno - remembering what I was like, he may have just as easily reacted angrily to being 'preached at' from a stranger and tried to deck you.

You may be able to handle yourself better than I could tho...

Your humanity is commendable tho

D

Mummyto2

That's a lovely thing to have thought of doing, but being intoxicated you never know these days if they could pull a weapon out or lash out, as I've heard many many times you can't help anyone who isn't willing to help themselves, thanks for sharing

Scd619x

We don't know his situation, i know a lot of heavy drinkers who have used alcohol for various reasons at various times. It's absolutely crazy (we are all a bit though) that you are thinking you should go up to someone drinking vodka at 9am and warn them of the perils of drinking but it's made my day, love it

Hodd

Ha ha, thanks Dee.

That’d be true if I’d tried. For someone who’s as totally unreligious as me, I do believe in karma (the western version anyway). Last night, for example, I retraced my steps to tell a guy struggling to use a parking machine that it was free on Sundays. Slightly less risky, but I reckon there’s someone or something somewhere that keeps a score of our karma points. It’s a world apart from “confronting” an alcoholic, but drinking at 9am is for me as bad as it could get. Maybe next time. I hope that guy sees the light soon.

novips

My recovery is rooted in Alcoholics Anonymous, and A.A. certainly places a premium on carrying the message of recovery. In fact, I could not stay sober until I took this calling seriously. Having said that, the situation you describe strikes me as one of those where it's ultimately fine either way. I think it would have been to your credit had you attempted to let this guy know that there is a way out no matter how far down the scales of alcoholism someone has gone, and that you'd be willing to share your experience, strength, and hope with him if he was interested. But it's also reasonable to pass on this particular opportunity. Trying to pitch a drunk while he's drunk is not optimal -- to say the least. Specifically on this point, the Big Book says: "Don't deal with him when he is very drunk, unless he is ugly and the family needs your help. Wait for the end of the spree, or at least for a lucid interval." Bottom line, it sounds like your antenna has been tuned up for opportunities to carry the message of recovery in the future. I'd count that a win.

Mizz

I understand where you are coming from. There is a young man drinking vodka at 9am. Its concerning to say the least.
Very concerning. You are a good human and keep being a good human!

advbike

Good thoughts Hodd, I'm with you on that and sometimes we don't initiate, sometimes we do, for whatever reason. We do the best we can in a brief moment. What's important is that it concerned you, which shows your humanity, and your thought process will change how you react next time. We are human, not perfect, but we (hopefully) keep learning. That said, always trust your gut and if something feels "off" about a situation - move on. Do not put your life at risk.

Hodd

Regarding the AA thing, it’s more a question of human decency than what an organisation advises. I’m sure if we saw someone suicidally perched on a high balcony, none of us would just walk past. We don’t need to be religious/Christian to act that way nor be attached to a group.

If this had been at night or in a dodgy back alley, I’d never have said anything. It probably was as safe as it could be. It was a public place plus I had running shoes on! If it ever happens again, I will initiate a conversation even if it’s under the pretence of asking directions as a tester on whether to take it further.

On a separate but related note, I just happened to be in conversation socially with a counsellor acquaintance recently. They tried to talk about alcoholism, but they weren’t convincing to me and wouldn’t have made a blind bit of difference in my case. I really reckon, in my drinking days, if I’d have bumped into a recovered alcoholic who’d gone on to do well, it would’ve made me think long and hard. As I say, I won’t lose sleep over this poor gent, but I’ll be more prepared next time.

stickyone

Do what you can when you can. Don't stress it. It has already passed maybe a conversation with him might have helped or gone totally wrong. With covid19 spreading like wild fire I would suggest just use precaution. I see a family member almost everyday lost in addiction living in the streets. It hurts my heart to see them I that situation. But I stay strong and focused and committed to my recovery.

DriGuy

I try not to interfere with the drinking of others. I've been tempted, but I don't want to seem like a reformer. I've been asked by different friends now and then to talk to one of their family members, and I have to admit, I'd like to be the guy that steps in and saves someone from a life of misery, but I've never had success at it. If someone asks for help, that's a whole different story. I'll offer what guidance I can, and that's about all anyone can do. Drinking is a personal choice and a personal responsibility.

Abraham

Hell I was drinking rum at 530 half the time, the other half I might hold out till 730 or 8. If some one would have said what you are talking about I would have just said "yea I know I should not be drinking and would love to quit." I wanted to quit for 15 or more years before I even tried (although I successfully quit the first time, for over 2 years now). I really doubt it would have changed anything for me. It really is just when one is ready. Saying something if some one is not ready rarely if ever will change their mind. I might have thought about it and remembered what was said by a stranger but I know it would not have changed anything.

Hodd

OK, so I’ve probably been way overthinking this one and posted a similar message on a FB page for that area. I should point out it’s not the nicest part of the U.K. In fact, it’s one of the worst!

A lot of comments were excusing the drinking at 9am saying he may have had bad news, hair of the dog, still partying, etc. I kept my tongue, but what utter codswallop. OK, when I worked in Germany, I’d see night-workers drinking a beer together at 9am on the bus. I can accept that but not a guy on his own taking a sneaky swig and then hiding the bottle in his pocket. That’s problem drinking as clear as day.

Others said it wasn’t my business. This is true. Reflecting on this, it could’ve got nasty. After my little stroll, I sat down for a Mediterranean breakfast (quite a cosmopolitan place!) and I could’ve had some irate drunk hunting me down if I’d spoken up earlier.

Other comments were just a bit surprised which is understandable. No one really confronts strangers about anything.

I’m annoyed about the excuses, though. The UK has a definite drinking problem, and at times I feel like an outsider as I don’t drink. I’m moving abroad in a year or two to a country where drinking isn’t the norm (it’s also too expensive!), but what a waste that so many in the U.K. have no interests except drinking.

Abraham

Well the U.S. has a drinking problem also. I see on the news at 8 in the morning and they have a guy there mixing up drinks or talking about wine promoting some kind of booze. I could almost excuse it if it were on the 6pm news but 8 in he morning on a week day is just ludicrous.

Mummyto2

It's not just the uk it's the world all over (well most) that seem to be drinking more, the uk was a great place when I was growing up, but now I could never see myself moving back there now, whether that fella had a drinking problem or not, through my experience of trying to help people that weren't willing to help themselves it's better left alone, for me no one could tell me anything as it was down to me to want it and help myself

Xtreem

I have made it a point to just read and stay silent on this site but really wanted to respond to this post.

I like many have recovery rooted in AA and in general they talk about being there for others, reaching out to others...blah blah blah. that being said, they also state that you really are there to assist only when they want the help. I'm taking this all out of context in order to keep it short. However for me, I very simply would, or would not have spoke to him or given insight depending on my gut feeling the time, that usually works for me. I just trust that my HP will direct me in those time and it seems to work out.

However....the point I REALLY wanted to make is this...

The compassion, concern and epiphany that you felt for him, and then you felt need to reach out and ask others for their insight is amazing!

I do not know you or your story but I see a person not self absorbed or consumed like so many and searching for the right answer or means to help a fellow....that speaks volumes about YOU, YOUR RECOVERY and your HUMANITARIANISM. WTG YOU!

Whatever means you are working your recovery please keep it up, it's working.

Peace Out

Xtreem

Khorhey

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zL3UHF5SlEU

Ugandans are the hardest drinking Africans in the motherland, both in terms of per capita consumption and the hooch they choose to chug. Waregi, or "war gin," is what they call the local moonshine, and it makes the harshest Appalachian rotgut taste like freaking Bailey's

Abraham

ouch. The link did not work for me however.

Khorhey

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=vice+africa+moonshine

Or try on youtube, Uganda’s moonshine epidemic on the Vice channel

DBRS814

Totally agree. Dude knows drinking vodka at 9 am is no good. I sure did, but did it anyway. Nice intentions, but save your breath. Plus, no one in the middle of a bender can be reasoned with.