MissOverIt

Hi sober recovery friends! I have 6 months today and to be honest, it’s been a hard couple days. Things are great and I’m working my AA program but I’ve been in the dumps and have started to imagine drinking opportunities. I hope this is just a rough patch and I would love some support and reminders about why we don’t drink (or why we shouldn’t). Thank you tons I’m advance for any help!!

Erica

advbike

Hi Erica, congrats on 6 months - that is fantastic! I hope you don't drink and give up that hard-earned sobriety. From a quick glance back at your early posts it looks like it's been a long haul, something I know only too well. It is hard to gain and easy to throw away. And the fallacy that we alcoholics *always* believe is that we can drink again in moderation. I promise you it won't happen. If you want an excellent explanation of all this, I suggest the book Alcohol Explained by William Porter. He delves into some of the technical aspects, without any judgement. It really opened my eyes.

It is also not uncommon that around certain milestones we also feel a diminishment of concern. I have picked back up at around 90 days a few times. I can also tell you from my own experience and research - at 6 months you are just now arriving at the point in time where many of the deficits we incurred from years of drinking are finally erased. You are feeling good, sleeping well, etc. Yet the brain continues to heal for two years, so the next 18 months are when the greatest rewards will come to you. When you will experience that deep restful sleep, spontaneous laughter, and joy from the smallest things.

I hope you stick with it to experience the best part of all this hard work.

tornrealization

Congratulations on six months! I think milestones can cause some triggers…they did for me. I feel proud at what I accomplished but also the AV comes out wanting to celebrate or tries to make me feel bad or missing out. It’s a little different say than the craving that passes by in a few hours, it can be a few days. However it passes. If your experience the dumps from life just having its ups and downs, also know that drinking won’t help. Hang in there! It will eventually pass and you can use the experience if it happens again at 9 months, 12, 18, etc.

Meanwhile the sober benefits will continue and build.

MissOverIt

Yes, it has been a very long road and I don’t want to give up now. Reaching out tonight has been really helpful and the insight is making me think. I’ll check on that book too! Thank you!!

Dee74

Congrats on 6 months MissOverIt
For me waking up sober and knowing I remember everything about last night is its own reward...but I hope things feel better for you again soon

MaxVano

Congratulations on 6 months!

When I read the book Alcohol Explained, by William Porter, as suggested by a member here, it made all the difference for me and my battle with alcohol. A craving is a fantasy. It's a fantasy about being able to have something, drink, food, whatever, and not have to deal with the consequences. -paraphrased from the book. I'm at 66 days, the longest I've gone in maybe 10 years, I'm not sure. We can do this, there is a better life without the poison of alcohol.
-Max

DriGuy

Yes, it's a rough patch. We have them and always will. So it's hardly abnormal. What you need to do is decide not to drink about it. Because if you can't make it through a rough patch without drinking, you have no chance of staying sober. Sobriety is not all good times. Sobriety is not taking a drink for any reason, and rough patches are just one of many excuses to drink. Resolve this first.

Mizz

Rough patches. They do exist. Reaching out for support shows you are using tools to get through this.
Turn the poison into medicine by reaching for positive solutions and remedies. I am sorry to hear that Life is rough right now but there is nothing that you cannot get through sober.

Scd619x

Well done on 6 months

I use AA too, along with the work that is suggested I look at my sponsees pattern of drinking and, from there, we can get together a great relapse prevention process. If i am helping a weekend binge drinker there is no point in me comparing them to a criminal 24/7 daily drinker. Whereas the daily drinker may indeed end up dead or locked up, the chance of that happening to someone who is a honest hard working working individual, got a home, family but gets smashed every weekend then nurses a week's hangover is nil. So i would look at the reasons you don't want to drink very carefully and get them straight in your head, get a sponsor if you haven't got one. 'to drink is to die' etc are great slogans from the 1950s when we only accepted low level drunks into the rooms but that does not apply to most anymore, i would suggest 'to drink is to feel like you are dying' might be a better modern day phrase but it sounds naff.

Also you need to look at what benefit drinking brings to you and start tackling them in sobriety. Is it anxiety, depression, loneliness, past memories etc. It will be of no use to genralise and just put it down as character defects, you need to know exactly why you drank. Hope that helps.

fishkiller

Kick that AV to the curb.

Life aint always easy and sometimes even when it is we can get in a funk. Push through. It gets better.

Imagine how horrible you would feel if you threw away those 6 months.

SweetThing

Don't throw 6 months away!

freedomfries

It's easy to think it wouldn't be a big deal if you had a few drinks. But when is it ever a few? Maybe you'd moderate for a short while but you'd be back to your same old pattern before long. I know I would.

froscow

Good job on 6 months. Please don't give into those intrusive thoughts. The guilt, shame and regret of throwing away 6 months will be overwhelming, and it will start the vicious cycle again.

Anna

MissOverit, Congratulations on 6 months of recovery. Be very proud of how far you've come. I'm sure you know how tricky the AV can be. It sounds like your AV is taking advantage of the 6 month anniversary to sneak in some negative thoughts. Keep reminding yourself that you can ignore the AV and continue on your recovery journey.

MissOverIt

I woke up sober and energized from all of your support, advice, and stories. You all rock and thank you!! Let’s do another 24 xoxo 🤗

Robbie64

Congratulations on 6 months MissOverIt. Just don't drink - I got to 6 months 2 weeks ago but drank the last few days. It isn't worth it. I've spent a lot of money and I feel absolutely exhausted and anxious with my brain working overtime. You don't want to be throwing away 6 months just to be like that. I agree with Anna, the 6 months milestone seemed to trigger my AV. Don't give in to it.

fishkiller

Sorry to hear that robbie.
Never is worth it.
Hope you are back on track.

fishkiller

Great work working through those feelings MO!

Keep it up

Zebra1275

Don't blow 6 months of hard work because of an unrealistic fantasy of how wonderful alcohol will make you feel.

Instead of a fantasy, think of a nightmare. Like being on your knees and throwing up into a toilet bowl in a dirty bar restroom, while sweating with a crushing headache.

Robbie64

I'm back on track though this is only day 1. Hopefully Miss OverIt can just ignore the AV and keep sober and keep the sober time too.