KeepingUp

Today I had an awkward and sad experience, though I was happy to be of service. I was walking my dogs alone (usually my partner would be there, but he had to leave early for work) and I was passing a house where I often see an older woman out at the same time with her dog, usually smoking a cigarette in her front yard. I did a double take when as I passed the house I saw the woman on the ground, half propped up on an elbow, and her dog standing by her barking. I asked if she needed help, because for a moment I was so confused, but she finally affirmed enough that I felt ok to go over to her. It was a bit chaotic for a minute as I got my dogs tethered to her fence and carefully approached her as she said her dog bites. She was very disoriented, but able to talk with me as I tried to help her up, but wasn't having much luck. As I asked if there was anyone else home, another older lady appeared and came out and together we were able to get her off the ground. The new woman told me, "she's been drinking" and that just made me so sad. Not that an elderly person falling is ever not sad and maybe I was almost relieved that her disorientation was alcohol and not dementia, but I just felt so sorry for this 70+ woman who was still clearly dealing with a drinking problem. She got argumentative when her roommate told her to get inside, but finally the roommate said, "this person who helped you needs to get to work" (which was true) and she finally agreed and thanked me for the help. So, a bit bittersweet. I'm glad I was there to help, because there's no way the other woman could have gotten her up alone, but it definitely hit me in the feels to see what the future could hold for me if I don't maintain my own recovery from alcoholism. I hope she's doing ok and maybe this will be a good wake up call for her.

2 years and 7 months alcohol free and more grateful every day. Thank you for the reminder, universe, and please take care of my neighbor.

DriGuy

That's a sad story. Falling down drunk is a pretty low bottom, and obviously, she's not done yet.

novips

Thanks for posting that. Made me think of the following from A.A.'s Big Book (specifically, from the chapter "Working With Others"):

Continue to speak of alcoholism as an illness, a fatal malady. Talk about the conditions of body and mind which accompany it. Keep his attention focused mainly on your personal experience. Explain that many are doomed who never realize their predicament. Doctors are rightly loath to tell alcoholic patients the whole story unless it will serve some good purpose. But you may talk to him about the hopelessness of alcoholism because you offer a solution.

Like you, I am grateful that I have found my solution -- and I pray that I never stop submitting to its requirements (i.e., fall prey to the delusion that I'm cured). I'm also grateful that I can share this solution with anyone who wants & needs it.

Anna

It's so good that were clear-headed and sober and able to offer help to this poor woman.

Zebra1275

Falling down drunk at any age is sad, but at 70+ years it's frightening.

KingEric

Similar story really, a few years back I'd drove out to collect some take away from a local shop and noticed a guy staggering around near the road. Eventually he completely lost his footing and hit his head on a nearby post box. Not knowing the man I jumped out and tried to help him to his feet, he was so drunk he couldn't even tell me his name. What I did notice was he was in a business suit and had clearly been to work, I looked up for help at a near by barbers shop and they point blank refused, so I asked another shop owner same again.

The barber popped out and told me I was best leaving him alone, so I asked why, he explained this was a daily thing and that couldn't keep helping a man that clearly doesn't want to chance his life and that he was bad for business.

Amazing how society turns on you when you hit rock bottom. I called an ambulance in the end, waited for it to arrive and left it at that.

lessgravity

KU - congrats on your sober time.

Yes I live in NYC and often come across people who I imagine might have been me had I know taken control of my life. It's the waste of this one life that hits me the hardest, not in a state of judging them, but also acknowledging I wasted many of my days as well. Sigh - onward and upward, there's work to do.

Hevyn

KeepingUp - I'm sure I was headed there if I hadn't stopped. I'd been drinking 30 yrs. & was becoming reckless. It can't take us anywhere but into chaos & danger.
Congrats on your 2 yrs. & 7 mos. free of that poison.

Scd619x

We all see things from our own perception, for me i don't know what the deal is with her? It would be easy to assume that she has had a problem drinking all her life but i don't know. Well done for helping to pick her up

Obladi

I was a falling down drunk when I was 58. I'm not convinced that's any more pitiful or tragic than my daughter who was in the same condition at 28.

KeepingUp, thank you for doing what you did. You recognized a person who needed help, and it's not surprising to me that her problem was alcohol. I think we learn to recognize each other, don't you think? It's that recognition that may be the single most important thing I have to contribute. I'm not sure how to express that better, but I suspect you know what I mean.

We truly are the lucky ones.

O

Dee74

I'm glad you were there to help KU

D

RecklessDrunk

She may not have been 70, drinking can make somebody look 70 in a hurry!

alphaomega

Reminds me of my mother. She fell drunk once and shattered her arm. Laid on the floor alone for 12 hours because she was too stubborn to wear her panic button. I found the empty gin glass in the sink.

It was the saddest.

So glad you are solid in your sobriety and that she was put in your path to both rescue her, and reaffirm your life saving choice to remain sober.

least

That is so sad... and frustrating.

Hodd

Well done, KU, for stopping and helping too 👍

And yes, I’d never thought about being an older drinker. Sounds too grim. I never want to go there. Trying to be a wannabe athlete now I’m in my 50s has been a shocking demonstration of how the body deteriorates. I might be fit for my age, but an average 30 year old will win every time. To add to the deteriorating by drinking is madness.

You must’ve quit at a similar time to me (January 1st 2019). Well done!

KeepingUp

Thank you all for your responses! I'm happy to have this forum, because even though I don't pop on as much as I did in earlier recovery (January 6, 2019 @hodd! Very close to your date), it's great when I need to ground myself and yesterday's interaction really had me feeling sad. I'm still a bit sad, but also happy I was there to help. And apologies if I sounded any sort of way calling out her age, of course problems with drinking are terrible and dangerous at any age. There just seem to be more dangers the older you get as the body doesn't mend as quickly (and even moreso with the damage done to it by drinking). So thank you all for being here and for committing to yourselves and supporting others. Especially this last year it's obvious how much we all need each other and I'm glad to be part of the sober community. Even when I'm sad, I feel MUCH better here than I did when I was the one on the ground.