Karo

Hi everyone,

Please to meet you all. I’m currently struggling with alcohol, and other substances that come along when I’m drunk.

Do you guys think that moving places, meaning changing our environment, could help with recovery?

I’ve moved back to my home town recently and my using have increased dramatically. I guess being back here brings a lot of stress with family and memories from my teenage years.

Have any of you experienced that feeling? Did any of you decided to change the scenery to recover? Or is it just me who won’t accept to face my own problems and demons no matter where I am?

Thanks everyone

Dee74

Hi and welcome Karo

I don’t know …I moved a lot of places over the years and everywhere I moved my problem came with me.
when I finally decided to get sober tho, I got sober the same house and neighbourhood I used to get drunk in for years.

I think the important factor is motivation and commitment to change rather than location.

D

Scd619x

Over the years i moved to a lot of places and countries, helped for a short while but then i was worse than ever.

However it would have been impossible for me to get sober living at home in my home town, as too many bad memories, the dynamics and i grew up there, it would be impossible to go out and used there for years. No way i would have been able to do it, on earth!!! So i feel for your situation.

You can start planning for your new clean life now, if it takes a while to get in place then that's ok as long as you keep safe in the meantime but i would be wary of setting yourself up to fail by keep promising yourself to stop at home and DO NOT believe for a second that you should be able to get sober anywhere because that is absolute crap! I go to AA and if i made most of the members sit in a bar each day for a few hours they will be picking up a drink soon enough, i don't care how much of the program they have done or how many years they are sober!

Try and get out of yourself too, look at the issue objectively if you can, like a dispassionate project.

DriGuy

The general consensus is that "No matter where you go, there you are... with yourself," and that moving is not the solution to alcoholism. However, as with most things, it may not be that black and white. One of the things you have to do in recovery is change your nightly environment to exclude yourself from drinking buddies, at least until you are better able to handle it. Recovery requires tackling bigger and more personal issues than the town you live in. Even if you stay put, you will likely have to make adjustments to where you hang out, so it does require changing environments. But moving is not a cure. Having said that, it may be helpful, but it will usually be a very minor part of recovery.

Zebra1275

Does moving help with recovery?

There is no geographical fix for alcoholism, many have tried this approach.

freedomfries

You'll just take your problems with you. Can't move away from yourself.​​​​​​

ScottFromWI

For me the problem is within me, no matter where I go or what I do. In a sense, drinking itself is an attempt to run away from the places/things that surround us. Certainly there can be exceptions but for the most part the solution to addiction is acceptance, forming a strong recovery plan, and then taking the necessary action to carry out the plan.

Mizz

No, moving will not help in recovery. The only move is internal movement into a different direction. Moving yourself out of active alcoholism and into freedom from alcoholism.

novips

The first thing that comes to mind is: "No matter where you go, there you are." IOW, if you're an alcoholic suffering from untreated alcoholism, then there's no "geographic cure" that will solve your alcohol problem. Personally, I'm the type of alcoholic who can only get sober by fully committing to the recovery program of Alcoholics Anonymous -- no matter where I'm living. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more about that.

Having said all that, there is also the saying: "If you hang around a barber shop long enough, you'll eventually get a haircut." IOW, environment does matter. Even after 18+ years clean and sober, I still give myself permission to leave a function where alcohol is being served if I start feeling a bit squirrely. I don't need to prove my spiritual fitness by surrounding myself with glasses of wine for hours on end.

So, maybe a change of scene would help. But more importantly, if you're an alcoholic then you need to treat your alcoholism and no change of scenery will adequately substitute for that for long.

Surrendered19

Moving is considered one of life's common major stressors right up there with relationships ending, death, job changes, etc. I think it is more likely to challenge sobriety than help it in any way. But as others have said, your location ultimately has little to do with your sobriety I think.

Anna

I moved in the very week I began recovery. My husband's job required a move to a new area where English was not the first language. It felt like a new start for me and I was able to build on it. I soon got involved in some volunteer work with women who lived on the street, and getting to know those women, inspired me enormously. I believe that I was ready to stop drinking at that time, and ultimately that's what matters.

BeABetterMan

This cool old black dude said to me once in an AA meeting, "wherever you go, there you be".

The only thing about location that has seemed to have an impact on me is that I have found it is important to be near a support network. Sober friends, family, AA meetings. When I moved from AZ to LA for a few years, I ended up really imploding. I found all the wrong people to spend time with, a toxic relationship to get involved in. Now I'm back in AZ, where a lot of my friends that use are, but also my kids are, some sober friends and a better network and I'm putting together some great sobriety.

Live where you are supported. Create boundaries with "friends" that are detrimental to you sobriety. Put sobriety first. PUT. SOBRIETY. FIRST.

DreamCatcher17

I moved when I was 9 months sober to a town I had never heard of.
I needed to get away from all my old places and especially all the people I hung out with.
It was the best decision for myself

Gabe1980

It's hard to be in a place where you associate everyone and everything with drinking/using. It's a bit of a catch twenty two because I think a new environment can help but the stress of moving can increase the amount you are drinking.

As people have said, it really is an inside job. You might have to look at who you are hanging out with and end some of those relationships, to give yourself the best chance.

I hope you find your answer x

advbike

I moved around quite a bit over the years because I like to experience new places in general.

However, for a few years I ended up back in my hometown where I had spent most of my childhood and high school. I found it very triggering for me due to the old acquaintances, high school friends, old memories, etc.. and I found I was drinking quite a bit. Ultimately I had to get out of there. I have known many others who have felt the same way when they had to go back, for example to care for an aging parent or whatever. It brings up so many dynamics - about success, families, kids or not, etc.. Especially in smaller towns. Negative emotions can be easily triggered.

I think this is the one time when it's okay and even healthy to make a move to a another environment. Sometimes the old hometown is just too toxic, even when people are well-intentioned. But be clear of your motives and make sure the new area has what it will take to support your sobriety - meetings, work, recreational opportunities, an intellectual environment, etc.

Jim1958

I know there is no geographical cure here. But one thing that I did experience was the stress of visiting my parents in the same house where there were many bad memories. Finally, when they passed away and the house was sold I never had to go back. So for me getting away from a stressful location helped. But the core problem of your alcoholism has to be addressed as well. Best wishes in your recovery.

Hevyn

I was living in a party town - a beach resort where there were bars everywhere. So for me moving made the temptations less, & it was good to have new things to explore . Of course, you can always find alcohol anywhere. Unless we're committed to getting sober we can easily fall back on our old ways. So I do agree that it's you who has to change, not your environment.
Glad you are here, Karo!

least

I always drank at home alone, so when I got sober, it was in the same house where I'd gotten drunk. I was just determined to get sober.

Haris2014

Moving didn’t help for me until I admitted I was addicted..in every country I moved to I always tried to reinvent myself as a normal drinker...fresh start, nobody knows me etc...well it doesn’t take long to find a group of friends that like to party

Dee74

Hows it going Karo?

D