overforty

Being sober is BORING!
I'm so bone crushingly bored I could cry.
I'm not finding any pleasure in anything at the moment.
Don't get me wrong I'm grateful that I have the strength to not drink.
And grateful for not being hungover etc..
I've been here before - sober life isn't fun but then neither is being an alcoholic.

Dee74

Hi overforty

I think a lot of us expect that we'll get sober and pow! life will become amazing.
Maybe for some it does but not for me.

I was still living my old drinking life for a while - not drinking but living the same life otherwise.
I'd grown used to all my fun coming from a bottle and all my friends drank - without the bottle and my friends no wonder life was boring.

I had to build a sober life I loved.

Think about the things you'd like to do - hobbies interests and friends for sure but also what does your best sober life look like?

Go for that - start building it.

D

doggonecarl

Sorry, but you are still in early recovery and haven't given sobriety a long enough run to really know.
P.S.
Anhedonia. It's a real thing.

dustyfox

It can seem boring at first - but better than death by cirrhosis.
Being sober ALL THE TIME is hard work - it just is - but it will get easier and better.

Hevyn

Overforty - It took me a while to appreciate my new freedom from alcohol. I was bored & restless too in the beginning. Being bored wasn't life threatening, though - and I was safe from the chaos & reckless life I'd been leading. Eventually I grew to cherish the lack of 'excitement' - and learned to treasure my new life. The fake fun that drinking seemed to generate was not real. The drunk me was a fool who wasn't living a genuine life. I hope to never see her again.
Don't give up.

Libby06

That train of thought kept me drinking a long long time, overforty. I could not imagine my life without it.

After plenty of booze filled drama and excitement, I'm pretty grateful for my simple and boring life now. The surprises at the end were not of the happy variety.

Early recover is tough. I couldn't remember what I liked to do before I took up drinking. It slowly came back to me, and I wouldn't trade the world I live in now for anything.

Create the life you crave! Sobriety is freedom

Abraham

Yea, I had no idea what I liked because I had been drinking for fun since I was a young teenager (14). When I quit at age 47 I had no idea what it was like being an sober adult. I had not done much but drink in decades. Its a fresh start to do what ever you want and have the ability to do it well because you are not drunk. Tons of fun stuff to do, being bored will pass.

Introvrtd1

I’d rather be bored than sick. For a long time, drinking gave me a moment of pleasure but three times as much pain…I got tired of that.

Hope you can stay sober and soon find that the boredom will pass.

least

I agree with Introvrtd1 - I'd much rather be bored than sick or numb or drunk-as-a-skunk. It took me a while to adjust to living sober, but I love my sober life and wouldn't drink for all the money in the world.

Mizz

There are so many activities and things to do in life. I feel like my life is really full and I don't even know how I keep up with all that is going on? With work, house work, running, reading, singing, weights, dancing, painting, yard work, movies/ series, online course, meeting friends for walks or coffee...... Pondering about the Universe Sometimes I feel a bit overwhelmed with all the doing.

I cant apply "bored" to my life.

So, I think "boring" is a mindset that can be changed. What are you doing in your life?
Do you have hobbies? What is boring?

Rd2quit

I agree with Mizz. I also have two young kids who keep me very busy. I very much look forward to the hour I have to myself after the kids go to sleep.

Patcha

I watched so much tv when I first got sober. Hours and hours and hours of it. I knitted a million blanked squares. I was really bored. But then my brain adjusted to living without booze, and my life got really busy and fun. Hang in there overforty. It gets better, I promise you.

Hodd

I couldn’t disagree more, OF. My life’s changed beyond recognition since I stopped drinking. Nope, I didn’t find religion, but I did find I was a more pleasant and confident guy who could get out there and do stuff. I’m a mediocre sportsperson at best, but I’m in a couple of local sports clubs plus I had a massive career change from dull office guy to school teacher. I wouldn’t have seen that last one coming when I quit at the end of 2018. And then I walk past or even go into pubs for a coffee. Now the people inside, they are among the dullest and most boring people you’ll meet. Overweight, no interest in doing anything else and probably no money to do so after blowing £4 a pint.

You’ve now got the time, clear head and hey the money to get out there and start living.

overforty

Thanks for the replies
I know I'm depressed and have been for as long as I can remember.
Functioning just about - and killing every emotion with alcohol and drug use since I was 15yrs old
( I haven't used drugs for over 10yrs)
I have tried to get help in the past (once) from a GP that wanted to send me to a group.
I literally shudder and get anxiety at the thought!
I'm not a group person at all - it's not right for me.
I find most people exhausting- even though I think I would like to build new relationships with people - it's just getting the courage to get out there and start.
It feels like an overwhelming task that I just can't bring myself to do.
So here I am - sober but alone.
I lost my job during the pandemic so I have endless days of nothing.
I'm trying to introduce exercise which quiets my mind a little - but it's not enough.
Money is tight so I can't join a gym or do any classes etc..
Anyway- sorry for the essay - I know 30+yrs of damage will take time to heal - I just hope I can do it because I don't see a point of a life alone and empty.

D122y

Anything you think is a trigger. Happy, sad, depressed, angry, bored, vacationing, unemployed etc etc. They are all triggers.

Booze (drugs) doesn't make anything better. It just sends the mind into lala land for a while. In the mean time it poisons the mind and body making them weaker and weaker.

Eventually the facilities wear down and will fail.

Everything is a trigger.

I don't want to give advice on what to do about your life other than say don't drink. Eventually the mind and body will heal and things get more clear and easy.

The whole drinking/drugs process is all about dopamine etc.

Thanks.

Hodd

Yes, overwhelming is the word. I’m not a socialite I assure you 🤪 You don’t have to join a gym or splash loads of cash. How about going on a website such as coursera and doing a free online course in whatever? Maybe learn to cook the best curries in town - why anyone spends £12 on a takeaway when the same can be made at home is beyond me - or a history course or anything.

Not saying it’s easy, but I promise it’ll get better.

Dee74

The message here is this is not the best you'll feel
How many days are you ?

It may take a little time, and as I suggested, a little effort and imagination, but you'll get there

D

brighterday1234

Recovery is a gradual process. It gets better over time providing you are actively working a program which works. What I found is that things I would have considered boring back in active alcoholism are actually the most joyous things nowadays. Recovery is playing the long game, put up with a bit of boredom early doors and reap the rewards further down the line 🙏

DriGuy

I used to say I drank because I was bored, but that was 100% denial (in my case). I drank because I was addicted. However, boredom did enter into the equation in a kind of backwards way. If you drink every night, you are repeating an unhealthy life pattern that becomes more important than every thing else you might do. Of course you will be bored. In sobriety, I found I experience boredom very rarely. I have never understood why that change occurred. I guess I quit boring myself by repeating over and over the same nightly ritual. Boredom was more of an excuse to drink. It was a rationalization in my case.

Scd619x

I did 5 years like that then ended up drinking again. Man it was boring as hell, even with me working in different countries and not wanting for much it sucked. This time round i knew what to expect, i knew that like other people i had to fill my time which sucks as drinking and hangovers filled it up for me. This meant being more responsible for my time, having the courage to try new things and generally trying to be an adult!? I still don't like it but there you go, for today it's better than drinking