freedomfries

It's unbearable, but my psychiatrist acts pretty casual about it. I guess he has a lot of patients who hear voices so it doesn't seem a big deal to him. But seriously this anti psychotic just isn't cutting it. I've only just been upped to the highest dose, so I don't know yet if it'll help, but if I can have severe psychotic episodes requiring hospitalisation on 100mg, I'm not sure 150mg is going to be much help.

I'm praying it's the Antabuse causing it. I stopped taking it two weeks ago and it stays in your system for a long time. I could drink now, but there's probably still a significant amount in my system. But Antabuse psychosis is very rare. I think it's more likely I'm just crazy.

And then there's the fact the voices seem 100% real. I go back and forth as to whether I think there's audio implants in my ears or not. Today I think there is.

I can't help but think alcohol would drown out the voices. And what's the point of staying sober if I have no quality of life due to the voices? :/

I'm supposed to be going back to college but I can't see how I'll handle college if I'm hearing voices. Maybe I should just give up on life and go on disability.

Well, I'm sober for the moment. I don't think I'll drink tonight. Hopefully things will settle.

Dee74

A lot of people hear voices and things like that FF.
They're normal decent folks like yourself
Its more common than I ever thought it was before I came to SR,


Drinking didn't solve the problem and it looks like not drinking is going to solve it either - but that's ok.
It just means the solution lies somewhere else

I think the solution is to keep looking for help FF. If you don't feel your current psychiatrist is treating this with the seriousness it deserves can you find another psychiatrist?

D

Lucinda2

****{Freedomfries}}}. I hear you and while my voices are mild compared to what you describe, I know that for me that alcohol ultimately amplifies them. Any respite is short-lived as the noise in my head always comes back quadruple following a drink. Your post reminded me also how we, as drinkers, seem to be often easily overwhelmed. I don't know what that is about but acknowledging that I am feeling overwhelmed helps me somehow. I have seen your posts here for a while now and I think that you can do college, and crazy is never a word that I would apply to you. Maybe just a little overwhelmed right now, tiny baby steps and you have got this. College sounds way more fun than disability.

Anna

Yeah, I think it's important to persist, FF. I hope you don't give up on life. I know this is really discouraging for you, but have faith that you will find a solution for the voices.

MythOfSisyphus

Is this the new doctor, @freedomfries? Hopefully not! You need someone else to help you if he's not concerned about the voices. There's a solution, hang in there!

RecklessDrunk

Try and focus on what you do have going for you. I've got a pretty messed up set of strengths and weaknesses myself.

Alcohol is the wrong way to try and mask or avoid the weaknesses. It only makes them snap right back and cut in to the strengths.

You're in engineering and got most of the way through the program, right? You have to be pretty smart for that, its not something everybody signs up for. To get that far with what you've been dealing with is pretty amazing. Don't stop now. The voices will back off. Tough times don't last, tough people do. You've got a lot of up side. Keep driving keep pushing.

Some of the most brilliant people in history have had some kind of mental illness. People like Mozart, Tesla, etc. Stay the course.

It seems like you have a family that is supportive. Maybe you need to switch up Doctors and strategies from time to time to get it right, but you can make it. So there maybe some set backs but you'll get it.

You are dealing with more then most people will ever have to but look at the up side. You are smarter then most people. You've already dealt with more then most people. You are tougher then most people. We have to play the hand we are dealt, focus on the aces and kings that you hold.

Mizz

What RecklessDrunk said!

I was trying to compose something quite a few times today and RD said it all BRILLIANTLY!
FF, You got this. Keep on going!

neferkamichael

Freedomfries, we all have an AV(Addicted Voice) that uses every trick in the book to get us to drink. It does go away with time sober, rootin for ya.

advbike

Sorry to hear FF..

I'm kind of a troubleshooter.. What changed? Why did they up your anti-psychotic? You were doing so great!

We're not supposed to give advice here so I won't but if it were me I'd be looking at what was changed.

I agree with the others about that psychiatrist. This is your life at stake here.

Hang in there FF, please don't drink it will just complicate the entire situation.

LadyBug66

Hi FF, I don't know if this helps or not but I heard voices when I quit drinking. I can't remember exactly how long it lasted but it did go away after a short time. It was so strange because it sounded like someone was standing right next to me talking to me! I wish you the best!

Patcha

Keep going freedomfries! Can you see a different doctor at a different practice and get a second opinion? It's concerning that the doctor doesn't seem to be taking your concerns seriously.

Mags1

Freedomfries all the best for a solution from the doc about the voices. I don’t think drinking would help you.

freedomfries

Thanks for the replies everyone.

Haven't looked into a new psychiatrist yet. I'm going to make a GP appt and see if he can recommend one.

Voices went away last night but they're back this morning. It's a bank holiday today so the mental health centre is closed. There isn't a psychiatrist there every day but I think there might be one on Tuesday so I'll call tomorrow. Might ring the after Hours GP today if the voices get worse.

freedomfries

Just back from a 5k walk. Probably best to try and go about my day as normal as best I can.

Delilah1

Hi FF,

I am glad you got out for a walk.I definitely think you should speak with your GP about a referral for a new psychiatrist. You need someone who will take this seriously, and help you find a way to deal with the voices ( and hopefully stop hearing them.)

❤️Delilah

freedomfries

I think if I'm honest, I have more chance getting through 4th year sober with occasional psychosis than drunk without it.

And since I got through 2nd and 3rd year drunk and high, maybe I can get through 4th year.

Gabe1980

I just wanted to send you some love and support FF. You are up against some difficult experiences but you post about it every step of the way. We can all learn from that xx

Gabe1980

.

biminiblue

FF when I was newly sober I had voices too - lots of hallucinatory events, for months.

I did notice that caffeine brought it on, so if you're still drinking Diet Coke or other drinks with caffeine, try to get off those. I completely gave up caffeine for the first six months for that reason... then I slowly added it back. Now I'm able to have it, but I have to keep caffeine low - like no more than three servings or I start getting intrusive thoughts. I'm over seven years sober and caffeine is still a problem if I have too much. Caffeine and early sobriety were a really bad combo for me.

Anna

FF, I'm sending support your way. I hope we can make you feel a bit less alone with the voices.

I'm glad you're planning to call the Mental Health center tomorrow.