Mizz

The decisions you make baffle me, FF.
Ativan and wine.
Recipe for disaster.

Anna

Your 4 months of sobriety has been so hard-earned. Are you sure you want to give it all up for a bottle of wine? And, of course you know that drinking while on Ativan is dangerous.

venuscat

Hoping you decided not to drink the wine dear FF s xx

SoberLeigh

freedomfries, that bottle of wine is a very bad idea. Don’t drink it. Please get rid of it.

You have battled hard for your sobriety; don’t cave.

Dropsie

Its so hard, believe me we know, but please don't do it. You know it does not solve the problem, just creates a new one.

We are all rooting for you friend.

Dropsie

How are you?

dustyfox

Hope you are OK FF - I feel worried for you.

Dee74

12 units is the weekly recommendation in Ireland I think.
Drinking them all at once doesn't mean you followed the guidelines.

But you already know that.

I used to make rationalisations like this too.
I knew deep down I was just letting myself down again.

Drinking won't solve any of your problems, but it will add to them FF.

If you did drink that bottle, maybe inpatient rehab or inpatient hospital is something to consider again - a controlled environment for a length of time to help you deal with all your current issues??

D

555Lynn555

FF I'm going to say to you what I said to my son. Buying alcohol does not mean you have to drink it. You have the power to make a different decision. I see that your signature is from RR and yet reading through this post I have seen a lot of "if this doesn't happen, then...." statements from you. You are listening to your AV, and your AV lies. As the mother of an alcoholic, it pains me to see you speak of what the pharmacy thinks but not what your mom who picked up the prescription or your dad you usually collects your check feel. Those are the people that care about you FF. You CAN do this--you've proven that to yourself. Get out of the headspace that tells you otherwise and back into the headspace that gave you 120 days. I hope you were able to fight the urge to drink, but either way, it's a new day and you CAN do this. What also hit me was what you said about alcohol taking away mental health issues---it doesn't. Once again, I'll say to you what I've said to my son---that logic is like you coming to me and saying that you are having stabbing pains in your stomach that have been happening for the past 8 hours and won't let up and my answer is to punch you in the nose as hard as I can because while you're seeing stars and trying to stop the bleeding you aren't thinking about the pain in your stomach. When that subsides, you have a broken nose AND the stomach pains. You aren't trading one problem for another--you're adding one problem to another--and the problem you're adding brings with it even more problems. I'm glad to see you keep coming here. I believe that means you are fighting that AV voice. You can win, but you have to believe that.

SoberLeigh

Love your post, Lynn. Thank you. As a mother of an alcoholic, I understand and feel your pain very much. Don’t give up hope for your son. As an alcoholic myself, I know that recovery is not only beautiful but very possible.

SoberLeigh

Hope to hear from you soon, Freedomfries.

Polaroid

Ugh, Listerine, tell me about it. Cheaper than wine, sure, but I can't hold it down.

Although I know you won't, you've got a sink, right? Pour out the wine. I've been sober for almost 24 hours now. Feeling some light withdrawals, some shakes and it feels real hot. Still, I was only drinking for a coupe days, and I'll get out of my comfort zone tomorrow - back to work.

In fear of asking something too medical, what anti-psychotics are you on? I'm on quetiapine (50-100mg) for sleep. Doesn't just make me drowsy, makes me extremely hungry as well, which is ironic as I can't sleep because I feel like I'm starving.

edit: I just realized your last post is about 1.5 days ago.
Please tell us you're okay.

Delilah1

Hi FF,

You have worked so hard fir those four months of sobriety, I hope you will rethink the wine. If you did decide to drink then maybe inpatient would be a good option for you as you work to get the voices and anxiety under control.

I hope you’re okay, check in when you have a moment, there are lots of people on here who care about you.

❤️ Delilah

freedomfries

Well I did drink.
​​​​​​
inpatient isn't an option because I'd be away from my support network

Dee74

but you'd be replacing it with another 24/7 support network for a while.

I'm not sure what you see as your support network - SR? Your parents? Your Drs? - but wouldn't it be fair to say you didn't use it properly anyway when you needed to the last few days FF ?

I'm not trying to beat you up. I just think that's a pretty airy rationalisation to use for why you can't go inpatient.

I know inpatient is scary and something you don't want to do but sometimes we have to grab any life preserver we can, man.

D

freedomfries

I don't have health insurance or money. The only inpatient I could afford is hardcore Catholic inpatient. I've been there before. They encourage people to stop taking anti psychotics and pray to the Virgin Mary to cure their mental illness.

Dee74

I'm sorry to hear that.
Maybe you might need to go to the UK to find dual diagnosis facilities to tackle all your issues, not just addiction.

Perhaps your parents could help with that?

D

sortofhomecomin

Dual Diagnosis is available in St Pats Hospital Dublin, the hospital is private but I understand they do provide a certain number of places to the public HSE, unfortunately I cannot give advice on accessing this.

FF, can you ask your parents or GP to get the relevant phone number from the HSE to access a bed for a public patient requiring urgent care in St Pats?

Or ring Pats and keep ringing tell you get someone who understands their way around the system?

St Pats reception (01) 2493635

If I had the money would lend it to you to set up a private policy, unfortunately I'm a bit short myself.

sortofhomecomin

The care is available in Ireland, it's just a matter of knowing one's way around the system. Public waiting lists can be long but I think they are as bad in the UK. FF ought to be treated as urgent case given issues with hearing threatening voices, etc.

Dee74

Thanks for the local knowledge Sort.

D