whopper

I feel so awful today. I drank after a long period of time, thought I could handle it, and couldn't. I feel so guilty, said stuff to a friend I wouldn't say if I was sober. Apologized about it. Hoping I don't lose my friend.

Mizz

Sending empathy and compassion your way.

SoberLeigh

I am really to hear this, whopper. Examine what led to this episode; beef up your sober plan; move forward.

Remember that, for us, alcohol is the enemy.

D122y

I vote "thought I could handle it" was a crave in disguise.

Next time that happens, deny your addiction and watch your brain damage expose itself.

I never had a thought I could handle it crave yet, because I learned about that addiction trick here.

When I used to be a drunk, my biggest relapse thought was "i have been clean for a week or two, there is no way I have a drinking problem."

Sober life has been hard earned, lots of suffering, I am never giving it back.

I hate booze. It is poison. Booze is a gov't sanctioned, highly addictive, brain damaging neurotoxin.

Thanks.

KidsEverywhere

The first time I got sober- I remember folks saying: “if you start back- you’ll be right back drinking as much as you were within a couple of week”.
That was a lie- I was back drinking as much as ever within a couple of days.

Put last night behind you- and if you are serious about quitting- incorporate your intention to stay sober to your friend you said something regrettable to in the form of an apology.
my experience with getting sober is folks that are really your friend will put aside what you said and did while drunk and embrace the “new you”

Introvrtd1

Aaawww whopper…pick up, dust off, and get on with more sobriety…(fall seven times…get back up)

Robbie64

Try not to be too hard on yourself whopper. You can't change what has happened. However, perhaps you could look at what caused you to relapse and think about what you can do differently next time. Hopefully your friend is forgiving and all will be well.

Scd619x

I had to understand why I drank and what I thought it did for me before i could get and stay sober. Alcohol is a liquid that does not care whether i drink it or not so there has to be a very good reason why i keep going back to it, saying it is the addiction was a cop out for me as it stopped me looking any further.

Anna

I'm sorry, Whopper and I hope you feel better.

Do you know why it seemed important to drink yesterday?

Hevyn

Hi whopper. I'm glad you posted about what happened. The last time I did that, before joining SR, I was gone for years trying to prove I could be a social drinker.
You're back and acknowledging that it was a miserable experience. Now you have further proof that it's never going to be worth it.

RecklessDrunk

Bottom of page 31 in the big book, you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking.

Keep this latest memory well stored. The next time the obsession to drink strikes play this tape foward. Make sure to play from yesterday to today all the way through. This is what drinking has become. This is what really happens when we drink.

If you are like me there was a time when alcohol worked a magic like no other. It almost instantly took away the restless, irritable, discontent that I knew as life and made it manageable. It turned me from a pessimist to an optimist. It gave me hope. It made life fun. It made events fun. It turned my fear of people into love of people. It turned my disgust for myself into love of myself.

Over time it went from diminishing marginal returns to negative marginal returns. It does not work anymore! It use to be so wonderful though there is a part of the brain that just can't quite let go of it. Some days sober can be rough and it easy it to just fantasize. Beam me up scotty (I never even got into star trek) . If only that magic of alcohol would just come back. It only destroys us to live in fantasy. We have to live in the real world. Apply the thought of that to what alcohol really does to us in the real World. It will probably be easy today and tomorrow but its down the stretch that we need to be able to think the drink through. What happens when we pick up anymore, it will never change. We have used all of the magic up, there is none left.

whopper

I had some problems around the house and it stressed me out. I thought drinking would help me get rid of that stress, but it just made me feel worse. Becoming angry really scares me, it was like I became someone else.
I am feeling better tonight, and I don't want to go thru this again. I will have to never forget this horrible episode of drinking.

brighterday1234

Thanks for sharing. The only life of happiness for an alcoholic is a sober one 🙏

Gabe1980

I'm sorry you went through that. It sounds like what you got was just a load of reminders as to why drinking is not something you can/want to do anymore.

The world didn't end though and if learn from it and keep going, you'll be back on track in no time xx

anxiousrock

I know exactly this feeling all too well.
don't be too hard on yourself. I hope you feel better soon.

FreeOwl

one thing I love about sobriety is never having to face this exact situation again.

onward, my friend!! Sobriety often comes with its stumbles.... it is at those points where we need to double our resolve and hold the course.

birddawg

Don't beat yourself up. Look at this last episode as a blessing in disguise (I am not religious, but that's not the point). You learned from it. I did the exact same thing in thinking that I could control it. I was wrong. It was a tough lesson, but there is a lot to be gained from it.

As others have said, play that episode over and over again. Let it make you feel mad and powerless and maybe even worthless. Then burn that feeling into your psyche to never repeat it. Don't beat yourself up. We are here for you and have all been there.


So do I. It has taken so much from me, and yet marijuana is illegal in many states. Not advocating for weed, but the double standard is so preposterous. Follow the money and there is your answer, IMO.

Hevyn

How's it going today, whopper? Thinking of you.

venuscat

Hello dear whopper, just saw your thread. s

You have been through a lot in the past while, and everything got to feeling nice and stable and somehow it is easy to forget how bad it was.

But I think the feeling horrible after drinking again is a blessing. Cos that is not who you are or who you want to be anymore. It hurts right now to have that reminder, but in time it can be a good thing.....a memory that helps to keep you safe.

I hope your friend gets over it and understands. xx ❤️

Dee74

Glad you made it back Whopper
How are things today?

D