BeABetterMan

I am not currently dating but I never took the dating apps off of my phone from my last failed attempt. So sometimes I browse through them anticipating the day when I might try again, once I have some solid sobriety and a desire to meet someone.

I sometimes laugh out loud when a woman’s profile says she’s looking for a “guy that likes whiskey”, or one that wants to “share a bottle of wine and watch the sunset”. Holy crap ladies, if you’re looking for a guy that likes whiskey….I AM THE GUY FOR YOU! And share a bottle of wine? I’ll do you one better. How about we each get our own bottle. Wait, no, you get one and I’ll get ten. Actually, you can stay home and I’ll drink all eleven. Or some ladies say their Sunday includes “church, football and some day drinking.” Wait, you’re looking for a day drinker?!? Well look no further sweet cheeks. You just hit the jackpot. Day drinking? Day drinking is my specialty. Seriously, I am the best. Like the Tom Brady of being drunk all day.

Oh man. I guess you have to be pretty sick to find humor in this like I do.

pline

Heheh....so true.
All those dating site profiles....the beaches must be crowded with romantic couples walking dogs together into the sunset every weekend. Every evening getting romantically wine sodden in front of netflix or listening to dreadful 80's big ballads.
You gotta wonder about "church, football and some day drinking" tho....yeah, but in what order ladies?

Wastinglife

I have to give up on dating apps. I've broken sober periods of 10 months and 6 months when I decided I wanted to date. Both times I ended up drinking on the first date and off to the races I was. Last time I used Tinder, I dated two women. I can hold it together for about 2 months usually before they realize I have a drinking problem. I don't why I bothered because I was drinking alcoholically while on prescription antidepressants which absolutely kills my sex drive. It's embarrassing to be in bed with a woman who is expecting to have sex and I can't perform.

I actually was looking for companionship more than sex. I was incredibly lonely and above else wanted a woman to go out to dinner and a movie with. Although, with both women, at the movies, I would excuse myself to go to the bathroom but then drain a couple shots of tequila at the movie theater bar.

anxiousrock

LOL it's like those people that ask if you want to go out for 'A' drink. Just one??? Haha.
I've never used the dating apps, they came out too late for me, but I know a ton of people that use them and they intrigue me, for sure.

BeABetterMan

I’ve smashed some good sobriety from dating too. That’s why I’m not dating. I am spending time with some friends that are female and an ex-gf though. Practicing doing normal things without drinking so one day I might be ready.

Rar

😂🤣😂. I must be sick too. Your post is pretty funny. Made me laugh out loud.

Hodd

I had a look at the app Tinder once, purely out of curiosity. A lot of the females listed “few drinks”, “wine”, “grab a drink”, etc., as one of three or four main interests. I have to be honest and say I’d have written that 3 years ago. I wouldn’t have expected many swipes right (?) back then.

I’m sure there are occasional drinkers in the UK, but I’ve had so many raised eyebrows when I mention I don’t drink, maybe it’d be offputting to say so on a dating site.

Flashback alert! Years ago when I worked abroad, there was a female actually interested in me! Our paths often crossed when out, and as usual I’d have or had already had a skinful. Eventually we went out together and on parting (that was it, one date!), she said it was nice to meet me sober!

Hevyn

Black humor - I laughed - but we know you realize it's all too true.
My last & final horrible relapse lasted for years - after I decided I could have "A Nice Glass of Wine" with a new person I was dating. (I couldn't.)

nez

I am a firm believer that the best dating app...is a puppy dog. That is what brought my wife and I together many many years ago. She saw a cute happy puppy dog on a front porch and went up to play with it. She wasn't looking for a relationship with a man, she just was drawn to this puppy dog. I came out of the house to see what all the commotion was about. I wasn't looking for a relationship with a woman, I just wanted to know what got my puppy all excited.

Scd619x

The majority of people do not have any problem with alcohol so will mention it as a naughty thing to do that might make them seem a bit of a wild one lol.

Anna

I like the dark humour in your post, BABM. I'm glad you know you're not ready to date yet, but that you believe the time will come.

BeABetterMan

Agreed. My guess is that 90% of them have a good relationship with alcohol and can enjoy it responsibly. I don’t mean to judge any of them and I hope that’s not what it sounded like. It’s more of a self-deprecating tongue-in-cheek post. Just for laughs

Bekindalways

It gave me a giggle too BABM. My humor is a bit dark.

2ndhandrose

Me, too

pline

Actually it can get really weird using a dating site, then meet someone who you know from get go has a problem as serious as you.
And watch them go through the denial hoops when you know as well as they do that really want to get utterly trashed.

dustyfox

Before I was married when I used to use dating sites I was always disappointed when I met men who couldn't drink as much as me - some thought they could but usually they were passed out , snoring somewhere while I sat thoughtfully draining the rest of the wine/vodka/ whatever was around - it was as though I was seeking some boundary which I could never find. I thought I was wild - I am sure those men felt they had a lucky escape - so glad those days are over !

pline

The above....heheh. Brilliant.