Trident123

(Of note - this happened 3 years ago and I have not taken any of these medications since)-
Usual night of watching TV at night, drinking my 1.5 liter bottle of wine. Got very drowsy, time to go to bed. Did my usual habit of taking a Seroquel to help me sleep (as if I needed it), and took a pain pill due to a back issue.
Woke up in the middle of the night. My eye seemed to be tearing, my cheek felt wet. I felt it and it was crusty. I headed to the bathroom, turned on the light and looked in the mirror. I was shocked. I had a 1/2 inch gash on my temple about one inch from my eye ball. The gash had been bleeding and was crusted over. How/when did this happen? I had to sit down on the bathroom floor as I was feeling faint. I had no memory of this. I was terrified. I cleaned up, tried to sleep again but only tried to backtrack my thoughts of the night. Couldn't do it. The next morning I walked around the house trying to find a blood trail. There was none. The only mess I saw was on my pillow and bed.
The next day I went to a doctor, and of course, when he asked what happened, I had to be truthful and said I don't know. I was in a blackout. How humiliating. I could have lost my eyesight. I was terrified of what happened. Threw out the medications, but ironically, not the wine. How sick we become. I continued drinking, as if it was the medications that caused this. It was me. To this day when I look in the mirror, I see the scar.
Today is day 41. I will not let anything like that happen again.

SoberLeigh

That is very frightening, Trident. Sobriety is a true blessing - so many things that we don’t have to worry about - such as mysterious injuries. (Now, if I could only manage to stop bumping into the open dishwasher door.)

Patcha

Ooof!!! How scary Trident. I'm glad you are ok! Congrats on day 41!

LoveHateWhine

Thanks for posting that Trident! I’ve had episodes like that over the years, fortunately didn’t result in any serious injuries, but easily could have. I needed to be reminded of them.

Dee74

I'm glad those days are over for you Trident - congrats on 41 days

D

BeABetterMan

Your post dredged up some pretty dark memories for me. I’ve probably blacked out 500 times over 30 years of drinking. At first I would fall down or do something silly. Towards the end I would wake to find blood everywhere. Or with lights flashing behind me. Or in an ambulance. Or when my car hit something. Or in vomit filled with pills. Or days later. One time I came to in a police car. The next day my name was in the paper. In Los Angeles! Do you know the type of shenanigans that one has to pull to make the papers in LA? That’s how I drank.

Alcoholism is progressive. Towards the end of my drinking I would get completely intoxicated with one or two shots. My body had programmed itself that when alcohol touched my lips, certain portions of my brain (I guess) would switch off because they wouldn’t be necessary for hours/days. But I would continue to drink for hours/days more.

I think that once we start blacking out it becomes more common. I know that if I were to drink today there is a 100% chance I would blackout, even if I consumed a relatively small amount of alcohol.

I struggle with the concept of God. Is God real or not? And what is God’s role and so on. But if I be completely objective, there is no other explanation for how I am still alive. No other feasible explanation. I don’t know the hows and whys of it all, but me being alive today is some sort of miracle. I never want to go back to that. It’s stolen enough from me. I’m keeping what’s left.

anxiousrock

This is interesting. I do have a theory but maybe I'm crazy. I always used to purposefully injure myself when drinking. I was drinking to numb the pain from anxiety and depression and when that didn't work, I'd also physically injured myself.
no idea if anyone else did that, but I'm glad it's over.
not the anxiety, but the getting drunk and hurting myself.

Wastinglife

I have a similar story. Went out to a pub on my birthday. I had drank a bottle of wine before that and I'm sure a lot more at the pub. The next thing I remember is waking up on the sofa in the morning and getting quite the shock when I see my scalp hanging off the side of my head, skull exposed, and my whole face and shirt caked in dry blood.

I called an ambulance and ended up with 30 staples in my head. On the way home, I got the taxi to stop off so I could buy beer. Continued drinking as soon as I got home from the hospital. I still don't know what happened. I was in a complete blackout.

anxiousrock

this is scary! And good for me to hear, too. Drinking is not a game, it's not fun. It's dangerous if you can't control it
I hope you're doing better now

silentrun

Thanks for the reminder. I sometimes forget how hellish active addiction is. I had my 1st black out july3 2003 at the age of 35. It would be e few years until I had another. I knew something had changed but I kept drinking. It was very scary to not have full recollection.

Toward the end I blackout every night. I would get my pint of whiskey, mix my drink, swallow about twice the dosage of OTC sleeping pills, and start drinking. Then I would pass out on the couch and do it all over the next night. Luckily I was in my home and never hurt myself. A few times I'd wake up in the bathtub with food shrapnel floating around me. A couple of times my brain couldn't remember a conversation I had with my husband even when I only had just started drinking that night.

So very thankful I was spared that hell.

freedomfries

I blacked out in march and when I came to, my hand and wrist were burned, I think by boiling water and a lighter. Self inflicted probably. It took weeks to heal and I still have the marks, will likely be permanent scars.

I hadn't self harmed in fourteen years when this happened.

Mizz

That sounds absolutely terrifying. Seroquel for sleep? That is such a heavy medication. I'm not surprised you don't remember what happened. Some of the medications prescribed to people seems really questionable to me. An antipsychotic for sleep? Seems strange to me. I am very very hesitant to take meds from a doctor due to personal reasons and due to bad experiences.

The combo of alcohol and meds was a lesson learned and I am so happy you have survived the ordeal and can tell the tale. Dangerous and eye opening. I have my own horror story as well so please know you are not alone. We dont make the best decisions while under the influence.

Keep on moving forward. You are doing wonderfully. Sober looks good on you!

AL48

Trident your story is a reminder to us all. I had so many blackouts over the years but the last one was so embarrassing. It was last November i was on my usual weekend stay at home alcohol bender as no bars were open . I was complaining about back pain earlier in the day after sitting on my ass watching tv drinking for hours ,so that night my wife told me she would book an appointment for me with a physio first thing in the morning. Of course i couldn't remember any of this and missed the appointment. The physiotherapist called my phone wondering where i was i denied all knowledge of the appointment as i was still in bed, i think you get the picture. Im hungover my wife is at work embarrassed and angry and i end up lying my way out of it by blaming the physiotherapist saying her attitude on the phone was awful ect ect. If i was honest with my wife i just cant to this day remember anything that was said or happened that night. Thankfully it was the wake-up call i actually took seriously and have been sober since. The more i think of these blackouts the more frightened i get its just so scary to think of. Sobriety was the only answer. Thanks for the reminder Trident i need it every now and then.

b0glerd69

Interesting thread, thanks for raising it. Blackouts were one of the major reasons I gave up for good. They do become more frequent as the volume of alcohol consumed increases. I had one where I woke up with a cigarette burn, a proper burn like I had been tortured on my arm, no recollection of how I got it. I had numerous of these sorts of experiences where the next day I was ashamed as I could not recall what had happened who I had talked to, the general state of intoxication I had been in, etc. The worst thing for me was that 30 mins or so, waking up, feeling awful, fragmented memory and then the paranoia/consequences of what might (or had) happened the previous night starts to set in. I know 100% that if I drank like I used to, I would blackout and disgrace myself (at least to me). I'm simply not willing to live with that risk anymore.

Renegade2

I've been recently having more occurring "mild" blackouts. I say "mild" because I can remember almost everything, but I forget what me and the wife talk, or doing the dishes before going to bed. If I try to remember, I only see distinct scenes, not a complete continuous sequence of events until going to bed.