Phil71els

I have made it through day 1 a few times in the past, my doctor told me to taper but the sickness is just awful. I know it will abate after a couple of days but it is just so hard to get through that. I have made another mistake, I know this, I can see where it leads (death) and I know I need a better plan to cope with the almost instant change in my behaviour I have displayed in my last few relapses where I am one minute normal (lol) and just having a good day and the next minute in my car on the way to buy booze. I dont know what the trigger is and its like flicking a light switch. I need to figure out why but first I need to get a few days sober.

My condition has progressed to the point where I am throwing up every morning. I am currently on sick leave and have been in contact with someone from the AA group I used to attend before covid. He is going to send me some details on meetings and some number to call. I called him at 10 this morning, I think he is on holiday with his family which makes the fact he took my call so much more special but its now almost noon and I couldnt take it anymore so went to the shop and bought some wine. I am also going to get in touch with my work health care. They provide councelling plus online GP access which I didnt know about. Not sure being an alkie is covered but I can try. I will be taking advantage if this as much as possible.

I know that getting through the first couple of days is rough but omg the sickness is crazy. Could anyone advise me on how to feel less sick and stop throwing up?
Recovery is wanting to be sober more than wanting to drink but with this sickness which I've never experienced to this extent before I am struggling.
I appreciate all the help I have already received in the other thread. My doctor has signed me off for 4 weeks sick. Not sure I will require all of that but one person mentioned how they would not be able to cope trying to quit while off for a month. This is my first full day of my sick leave and I get what they mean. I've been wandering around my house, doing simple, insignificant housework due to feeling sick and throwing up. If I felt less ill I couple pick a bigger, more rewarding challenge but I dont know how to get past this first day anymore. I have some under eve storage I have been planning on adding, 4 weeks seems to fit the bill for getting it at least partially complete. I want to start it, I cant cos I feel so bad.
Reading back this post is just a massive whinge and so please ignore if you are triggered by it. It seems childish to me now, I brought all of this on myself. If anyone has advice on the first day or two please by all means share as I need the help.

Free2bme888

I’m joining you.

Mental vision.

Mental tapes, “I don’t need or want alcohol. I am done.”

water on the inside, water on the outside. (Hard to drink in the shower). Water will help flush your system



Does the Dr know you are throwing up? Careful of dehydration and electrolyte imbalance. Could be life threatening.

Please get help if it gets worse.

Scott2295

When I have been on Day 1 I really have not tried to do anything. I can’t eat etc. I drink lots of water and just lay in bed. I can’t read since I can’t focus so I just surf the internet. I know that the next day I’ll be better so I just wait and ride it out. I’m so sick drinking is not even an option at that point.

fishkiller

You are not whining. You are calling for help.
That's what SR is here for.

Not sure if I asked in your other thread but is inpatient an option?
That would eliminate the option to drink and they can monitor your health also.

Other than that in my opinion, it is Just Don't Drink No Matter What.
Sucks at 1st but So Worth it in the end.

You never have to go through this again

Phil71els

Thanks for the replies. Fishkiller, inpatient is not really something I can do. My Wife and family are not aware that I am an alcoholic. Something My friend from AA said I should rectify by telling my wife. I am scared she will kick me out, just cut me out of her and my kids life. Living without my wife and kids would be hell, I love them so much.

fishkiller

I understand your concern bit in my opinion it is probably unfounded.
I'm sure she loves you and wants what is best for you and your family.
Why would she kick you put for trying to become a better husband and father?

Besides if you are drinking enough to be throwing up I'm sure she at least has a suspicion you might nees help.

Haris2014

Hi Phil, I had a similar situation to you, in the end I had to ask my wife for support in quitting, so I could take some time to recover without the (perfectly normal) day to day expectations between husband, wife and family. I never and still haven’t talked about the extent of my drinking, I framed it as I was having a problem quitting and need some support... she knew how bad it was and we only really discussed that a few months later..alcoholics don’t smell the best and our small lies and efforts of concealment are easily picked apart.

but to answer the first post... water, water, water and rest... I did have some rehydration salts on the first couple of days and had soup with bread... I downloaded some audio books, put my headphones on and rode it out for a few days.

biminiblue

Phil.

She knows.

She knew the last time when you told her, and she knows now that you're drinking. No way I could live with someone drinking and not know.

Talk to her.

And go back to bed. Use that bottle to taper - one sip, then wait an hour, ...if you can't taper, get to the hospital.

Abraham

tell her you are not feeling good from not drinking and that it must mean its for sure time to quit. Then quit and stay quit. You cant balance this forever and it will get worse. Do it now.

Dee74

Just a reminder on our medical advice rule - we can share our experience but we should not be suggesting treatments or meds.

Phil - I hope you got through ok. Day one will suck no matter how we approach it.
I'm not a fan of tapering - never could do it worth a damn - and I had a bad 'home alone' detox.

I think a doctor consultation is probably the best option if you're not doing well.

D

Introvrtd1

Hi Phil…My first few days were miserable…anxiety, insomnia, palpitations,…all the other horrible pawsy symptoms….I felt safe at home but at the same time, I didn’t…Does that make any sense? At home there was my comfort zone but there were all the reminders of drinking and withdrawals. I also felt safe at work but again…At the same time, I didn’t. I mean, keeping busy at work kept my mind occupied from my health anxieties but some days were worse than others….😩😩😩

I share this with you because I understand how you feel. Yes…it sucks….yes its really scary, but as time goes by, the hours turn to days…then weeks, then months. You can do it. I went from a stud macho man to feeling like a wimpy little mouse during the early days of my sobriety. Im sure you’ve heard this before but, YOU CAN DO IT.

The support here is incredible. Keep coming back here and post how you feel and soon you can look to see how far you’ve come once things get better…And they will…GET BETTER.

If I can do it.. So can you. Reach out Man.

Patcha

See your doc! Quitting is hard. Take all the support you can get.

least

I understand how desperate you felt, and how sick. Day one is always awful. But the one thing you shouldn't do is drink! You've got to get thru the hard part before you start feeling better. But if you keep drinking, you'll just be stuck in day one and you don't want that.

Anna

I think the only thing that kept me going through Day 1 was that I'd never have to do it again. There's no easy way, but to just get through it. I hope you're doing alright, Phil.

Robbie64

I hope you're doing OK Phil. I hated Day 1, I had so many of them and they were usually a nightmare. Take care.

Evoo

I’ve gone through all of the symptoms you are describing. It is the hardest part. I can only describe it as mortal terror — I wouldn’t wish these kind of withdrawals on my worst enemy, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Good news, you are 100 percent in the right mindset.

Drink water. Sleep. Eat what you can (I did white rice a lot).

Most importantly, you don’t have to do this alone. Bringing in my wife on my decision was the best thing I ever did for long-term accountability and support.

In retrospect, I wish I had detoxed under medical supervision. I was terrified — I thought I would die, and an ER really can help if you need it.

Keep posting. I posted constantly in early recovery,

Hang in there.

Wastinglife

I have been in your situation hundreds of times in the last 15 years. I can deal with the physical withdrawal symptoms but the hardest for me was always the psychological aspect. I have heard many people refer to it as 'The Fear'. Anxiety, depression, paranoia, and insomnia seem to be common for most. Those are considered mild symptoms. I have experienced worse such as hallucinations.

The only thing you can do is wait it out. In time, everything will sort itself out. I binge watch Netflix and surf the internet to distract myself. I once didn't sleep for 6 days straight only leaving my apartment to attend AA. We've all been there! Keep going!

ScottFromWI

Hope you made it through the day OK Phil. Having gone through many myself, I can tell you that it's almost a certainty that your wife and kids know exactly what's going on. They smell it, notice how differently we act when we are drunk and hung over, etc. If she hasn't kicked you out yet she would very likely appreciate you admitting it to her vs trying to hide it.

Regarding treatment ( inpatient or outpatient for that matter ), I would not rule either out as a last resort if you are not able to tackle this via other methods. If you don't stop drinking, a day will come when you won't have a choice in the matter with your family or potentially your health. That might be 20 years from now, or it might be next weekend if you pick up again and do something even worse than you could imagine now.

Water, rest, and actionable steps towards your recovery are the things that will get you through Day 1. It's rough but withdrawals are finite.

birddawg

As already noted, the withdrawal symptoms will go away in a short matter of time. For me it was about 5 days to feel quasi normal. Those days suck balls, but so does being drunk and hungover all the time. You got this.

Delilah1

Hi Phil,

I am glad you are back and ready to have that last Day One. If you are at the point where you’re throwing up each morning, and your doctor has already written you out for four weeks, that makes me thing they’re somewhat aware of what is going on. Can you have a conversation with the doctor about a medically supervised detox, and then some referrals for intensive outpatient programs near you, maybe that would work better with your family life.

As for your wife, she knows. She may not say anything, but she knows. Talk to her snd let her know you want to get help so that you can be healthy.