Lately all I want to do is relapse

Old 07-20-2021, 04:18 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 702
Originally Posted by least View Post
I see it this way, I've been sober now for over 11 and a half years and never once have I woken up and wished I had drank the night before. Don't drink. It's not worth it and it'll make you feel bad.
This has also helped me a lot in my weak hours. Summer seems to be associated strongly with the nicest side of alcohol. Perhaps because the days of real fun where alcohol was involved belong there: on holidays, as something exceptional, with friends I rarely saw during the year. Whatever it is, the certainty that there is not one single morning I have opened my eyes to any regrets of not drinking helps me when the cravings seem to take over.
Well done on 2.5 years and for writing and sharing here.
BackandScared is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to BackandScared For This Useful Post:
Hevyn (07-20-2021), least (07-20-2021)
Old 07-20-2021, 05:08 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
fishkiller's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: VA
Posts: 3,823
I hope you don't drink.

Thanks for the reminder we have to stay vigilant
fishkiller is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to fishkiller For This Useful Post:
BackandScared (07-20-2021), Hevyn (07-20-2021), least (07-20-2021)
Old 07-20-2021, 08:53 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Zebra1275's Avatar
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 13,429
I relapsed after 5 and 1/2 years, I thought that after all that time I could moderate and control my drinking.

Instead, I learned that alcohol controls me, not the other way around. I then spent a miserable year trying to regain sobriety and came close to losing a lot of stuff in my life that I valued.

Now I'm 11+ years sober, and I have no intention of ever drinking again. And I have a plan that I follow to help prevent it from happening again.
Zebra1275 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Zebra1275 For This Useful Post:
BackandScared (07-20-2021), Evoo (07-20-2021), Hevyn (07-20-2021), least (07-20-2021)
Old 07-20-2021, 09:18 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Anna's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 58,236
The romanticizing of drinking is just not real for us alcoholics. I know how hard it was for me to stop drinking and stay sober and I don't want to do that again, ever.

It's great that you came here and posted and I hope that our comments convince you that staying sober is the thing to do.
Anna is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Anna For This Useful Post:
BackandScared (07-21-2021), Evoo (07-20-2021), Hevyn (07-20-2021), least (07-20-2021), Zebra1275 (07-20-2021)
Old 07-20-2021, 09:24 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Phil71els's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 208
Right now I am struggling. I drank last june and have been serially relapsing since. Best Ive done is 5 months since then. I WISH i had not decided to drink. I romanticised it too and thought I could be a normie. No.
We can never be normal when alcohol is concerned, ever. Please dont drink I did and I am in a bad place. Do your self a favour and do not under any circumstances drink even one sip of booze. My wife asked me June last year to taste her drink, some rhubarb gin mix thing out of a can. I took one sip. One sip. Within 2 months a was passed out drunk on the floor. One sip is all it took. They say dont take the first drink and they are right. You might be ok for a few weeks on and off but eventually it will get you. You will be drunk again, you will be in hell again.
Phil71els is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Phil71els For This Useful Post:
BackandScared (07-21-2021), Hevyn (07-20-2021), least (07-20-2021)
Old 07-20-2021, 12:45 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Evoo's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: The Midwest
Posts: 587
One thing I've learned about the "romanticizing" thing (mentioned a bunch in this thread) is that you never really know what someone else is going through. I think a lot of people who adorn themselves in Hallmark "wine o' clock" merchandise, or wax philosophical about whiskey tastings, or brag about weekend binges, can just as easily be secret alcoholics. I know -- because I was one.

There's the myth of the "gutter" alcoholic; someone who can't hold a job or keep a nice place, who can't maintain relationships etc. etc... sure, those people exist. But look around, there's folks here from all walks of life. I was a workaholic/alcoholic in stable relationships who had a "love of craft beer and good whiskey." I was the guy who could keep a party going late into the night. To the vast majority of people, I was a social drinker who enjoyed fine alcohol as a hobby. Those people never saw me take a morning drink. They never saw the withdrawals. They never saw the addiction. They saw a person with a "normal" relationship with alcohol and a lot of "fun" stories (the guys still love to tell drunk stories about me in my early 20s).

It's the AV talking if you find yourself looking at the "normal" people and wishing you could be more like them.

We're not broken. Alcohol is an addictive poison - the social romanticization of it is the real problem here. A certain percentage of the public are bound to have an addictive response to this drug. There's a massive industry fueled primarily by its addicts (we're not incidental, they are counting on alcoholics for short-term quarterly gains).

No, I'm not going to go out and shame people and launch a crusade against booze, I don't think it should be illegal, either -- but I've definitely reframed my thinking on this. There's nothing grand or glorious about alcohol. There's nothing romantic about it. There's nothing special or enviable about a "normal" drinker. That's AV-thinking.
Evoo is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Evoo For This Useful Post:
BackandScared (07-21-2021), Dee74 (07-20-2021), Hevyn (07-20-2021), tornrealization (07-20-2021)
Old 07-20-2021, 01:16 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Sober45's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,004
Agree with Evoo 100%.

Iím 1.5 years sober. I donít crave because of this kind of mindset but most of all I never ever EVER romanticize alcohol. You can make up your mind to not drink and move your thoughts to something else.

itís awesome that you came here. stay strong.
Sober45 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Sober45 For This Useful Post:
BackandScared (07-21-2021), Dee74 (07-20-2021), Evoo (07-20-2021), Hevyn (07-20-2021)
Old 07-20-2021, 02:17 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: London
Posts: 333
I ended up drinking after 5 years the first time round, i found out that although my outer sober world was all fine my internal one was not, hence why i wanted to drink. I was living a life i thought i should live rather than one i wanted to, so had to make some changes which i most certainly did not want to do.
Scd619x is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Scd619x For This Useful Post:
BackandScared (07-21-2021), ciowa (07-21-2021), Dee74 (07-20-2021), Hevyn (07-20-2021), least (07-21-2021)
Old 07-21-2021, 10:53 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 253
I saw a post on here once about having a carefree night without drinking. It was about going out, doing something and pretending you have no cares int he world. Like at a concert, social event or whatever. Let go of everything. Just act like you would if you were drinking, except dont drink.

I think you're post is really honest. Most people who relapse claim they thought they could moderate or that they dont know what happened and a beer just ended up in their hand so they drank it. I think what you mentioned is closer to the truth in a lot of theses cases. People just want to be drunk and separated from reality again.

One of the things I liked about drinking was the out of control, no accountability aspect of it. Going out late at night and not knowing what was going to happen. But, part of my recovery was to either let go of those kind of urges, work them out in some way or even try to replace them with some kind of alternative. Its hard to live in a harsh world at times but I believe its all I know so Im trying to find the best ways of coping that I can. Keep it up.
ciowa is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ciowa For This Useful Post:
BackandScared (07-21-2021), Dee74 (07-21-2021)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:00 AM.