owen90

I read a post recently which really struck home (I can't remember who it was, apologies). Just shut up and put the work in. Blunt but effective, lol. Don't overthink it. There is no need to post 6000 word rambling introspective essays. I've figured out that posting or even reading such long winded, repetitive drinking autobiographies is just my AV's way of delaying getting sober/staying sober. A distraction is good but I feel like people (including me) sit around searching for an easy short cut or a miracle sober quote that will save the day...it simply doesn't exist.

It is a simple formula that theoretically shouldn't be that hard to execute; change your daily routine and put the work in to get sober. If I don't want to work at it and mope around feeling sorry for myself, then I obviously don't want to get sober and will end up a sad, lost cause.

I've been sober for a few days now and I had to catch myself from sitting around contemplating the state of the universe instead of just getting on with my life minus the alcohol.

I hope you all have a good day!

Owen

Mags1

Good Morning Owen, good to see you.

I think writing our thoughts and feelings down on paper or our pc can help sometimes. I can remember Dee saying to me in my early days of sobriety similar words when I was feeling so stressed and confused. I’d write an essay then I’d copy it and never post it but save it in my own notes.

When you need help shout out. There’s a lot to learn from people here who know how you’re feeling.

owen90

Thanks Mags, will do. Hope you're well this morning

Aellyce

I'm very guilty of posting countless "6000 word rambling introspective essays", and someone regularly accused of overthinking. You are right, but I also usually found that people here encourage it indirectly. I would make a shorter post and then get so many comments and questions while many also suggesting recovery should be simple. I can only stick with the "no rambling" and "taking it simple" approach if I do not react. But people often also say I'm unemotional... It gets very confusing at times, especially if I dare to post drunk and declare it, which can trigger some of the most complicated, passive-aggressive responses at times. It would, of course, remain clean and simple if my addiction didn't exist, so I would not think and post in that way, and no complex responses. But it does exist, so... I don't know. It seems like I am unable to follow some seemingly expected "be nice, humble, and just don't drink and recover" approach. I've sort of stopped caring to pretend it's that simple, but then that's irritating and a problem as well. I've recently thought I could find a place to express the real messiness of my addiction, but apparently not here at least. Oh well.

It's definitely maddening at times. I hope you can stick to your resolve, owen.

D122y

We here stay clean by any means.

Some folks post once a year saying thanks for the help.

I post almost everyday. I look to piggy back on someone else's thread. I try to relate, offer insight, or totally twist it into something about me. Weird. Sorry.

Booze is a drug. It altered/damaged my brain. I have quit for a while. I feel so much better all around. It hurt like hell for a long time (years).

Drinking was a learned behavior that I have unlearned.

Booze is not a mystery. It alters my CNS and my brain's ability to produce dopamine. The effect initially was miraculous. I feel euphoric and wake up the next day and feel fine. But, did I? Was I just addicted? Yes.

After years and years, the effects stop working, but the addiction is deep. Along the way, I made so many horrible and potentially life destroying (e.g. dui, domestic violence) decisions while under the influence.

I don't want that anymore.

Thanks.

DriGuy

You're right, I think we overthink it because we are looking for the easier softer way. We sense quitting is going to have us climbing the walls or missing out on some action, so we think about it. And thinking seems like the perfect alternative to quitting, because thinking is easy, requires no action, and doesn't require any necessary commitment. And sloppy, illogical thinking, which is default for most humans, is especially easy. You can even do it drunk. And it seems like you are doing something when you aren't because most thinking involves a lot time spinning our wheels in the mud. We call this kind of activity thinking, and it is, but it's unproductive. It just occupies head space and uses up time while going nowhere, but making us feel "busy." It's quite the opposite of doing something, which is the key to recovery.

fishkiller

I guess it depends on the content of the post whether or not it is too long winded.

If it is a list of excuses why you drink, can't quit, how you are different from everyone else, etc. then yes, probably not helpful. All BS AV talk.
Then again if you recieve replies with advice and you follow or at least process the advice and see if it is relevant to you then maybe it was helpful.

If it is about a problem you are facing or your feelings at the time then sometimes we can't relate that into a short paragraph.

I'm sure I've been guilty of a few long winded posts when struggling and sometimes even when posting good news. It is just what's in my head and I needed it out.

So I don't think it is a matter of how long a post is but more an issue of getting your head right so we don't make these long rambling posts.
Which sometimes may include long rambling posts. Lol

For me that is putting in the work.

Early on, for me anyway, it was mainly about just not drinking. Breaking bad habits and patterns. When those long winded ramblings started to pop up I reminded myself to slow down and focus on the task at hand. Removing alcohol from my life.
We have our whole lives to pick through all the other issues we have. But almost certainly they will not be resolved with alcohol still in the picture so in the beginning I believe that is the priority.

I am only 1.5 years sober so there is much more work to do but now that alcohol is out of the picture it is becoming easier.

I've been rooting for you and I hope you can make it stick this time.

Khorhey

The long ones don’t bother me too much because usually there is some or a lot of pain in there and hopefully that will remind you why you need to get sober.

If you drink long enough it usually comes down to 3 choices, being a drunk, death or get sober.

alphaomega

Addiction as a concept is pretty simple I am finding as I journey through this final attempt at becoming sober.

We are programmed by advertising and marketing to believe its the only way to have fun.
The ingestion of ethanol creates a series of chemical changes in the brain and body that, for some of us, creates a cascade of drinking exceedingly more.
We complicate that with our emotional state (also a result of the chemical byproducts and, well, LIFE lol )
Once we know better, we should do better but sometimes we fight that kicking and screaming.

I overthought everything in regards to everything, but especially my inability to drink poison and metabolize it without slowly killing myself, for the express purpose of believing it was somehow serving me because I was taught to believe it did.

The realization, and putting it in action, was the key to my freedom from it.

Is quite elementary if you think about it: Just dont drink anymore alcohol, for any reason, ever again.

And never question that decision.

Boondock

There's more to recovery than just quitting drinking and doing drugs, But there is a very clear objective. That's why no matter what program you chose step 1 is always the same. Every exercise after that is there to facilitate the objective. So always keeping the goal in the forefront of my mind no matter what else I may be up to is key to keeping away from the first drink. You could talk yourself blue in the face for 20 years about recovery whilst continuously relapsing over and over again if you lose sight of this very clear objective.

novips

I couldn't stay sober till I completely committed to the recovery program set forth in Alcoholics Anonymous, and the way that program was presented to me was as a set of actions that I either take or don't. Those actions broadly break down into three buckets: (1) meetings, (2) steps, and (3) service. Every one of these has a set of accompanying instructions. For example, I was taught to get on my knees every morning and ask God to keep me sober (references to kneeling in prayer come up at least 7 times in the Big Book). Importantly, it doesn't matter whether I believe in God. The instruction calls for physical action -- that's all. The entire A.A. program can be broken down like that. Even the "came to believe" in Step 2 can be understood as an action: Did you answer "yes" when asked whether it's at least possible that a power greater than yourself could restore you?

We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. "Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?" As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way.

Of course, I don't follow any of these instructions perfectly. The point is that (1) I have to know what the instructions are and (2) I can't be defiant about any of them.

Evoo

Maybe - though one thing that really helped me early on was reading posts about "addiction voice." I had never externalized my addiction in this way, and the new mindset/framing from consuming all those longwinded posts helped me develop some the tools I needed to "put in the work."

Can't put in the work if you aren't properly equipped .

dustyfox

I only ever overthought it when I was secretly listening to my AV -now there is nothing to overthink - I like reading other people's posts because I like the feeling of community here and having been helped myself by folk here, I like to try and offer a bit of support back when I can.

ScottFromWI

I would agree Owen - the "paralysis by analysis" phrase comes to mind, and it can sabotage the best plans - whether it be a sobriety plan, a building project, or a career decision.

Doing research on addiction and ourselves is certainly not a bad thing, but when it displaces the actual work that needs to be done it becomes a problem. Specifically to addiction it's even more insidious I think, especially if we are still drinking/using. The active use of substances clouds our vision and makes it even harder to make the right decisions, which is why it sometimes takes extreme measures like detox/rehab I think. Just like it sometimes takes therapy to get us started on our mental health path.

brighterday1234

There’s a good saying in recovery: “keep
it simple”. Recovery is as complicated as you make it 🙏

Anna

I always try to focus on balance in my life. I think that writing out your thoughts, when things are swirling in your mind, can be very helpful to finding clarity. But, at the same time, thinking and writing along will not keep your sober.

birddawg

I agree with all of that.

OP-
I may be one of the ones you are referring to as far as posting somewhat long winded essays. Here is why I do it. As Anna said, it helps me put my thoughts in order. I think of my thread as a personal journal of sorts. The big thing for me that is helpful by posting it here versus keeping a private journal is I get some feedback from others, which is very beneficial to me, and hopefully others that read it. I have gained a lot of knowledge/insight from other peoples threads.

I do agree with you in that writing/talking about doing something doesn't amount to a hill of beans without action and putting in the work.

Hodd

Nothing wrong with a bit of analysis, Owen. The only time it’s wrong is when someone is still drinking and endlessly analysing why. The “reasons why we drink” are way overdone in my opinion. As long as we know our triggers and have a strategy to deal with them, the rest will fall into place.

I quit at the end of 2018. I still don’t know why I drank so much. Does it really matter?

You’re doing OK, Owen.

tornrealization

I appreciate the long winded posts I come across especially when it’s a sober milestone post. In early recovery a lot of us find out fast and hear about not taking that first drink often. We may seek more information like when to expect to feel better, timelines and expectations of what comes with sobriety.

I do agree that paralysis by analysis Scott mentions does happen. With a long post from someone suffering in that stage we can try to help them with just listening or a reality check. Those types of posts help myself Relate more and remind me just how hard early sobriety can be.

I used to worry about my long posts but now I realize it’s therapeutic. As someone who appreciates the detailed here’s how I reached my milestone posts I decided I can’t possibly be the only one. The more sober time I get I am feeling less narcissistic that anybody really will sit there caring much about a long post, they can scroll by to a shorter one lol 👍

I get what you’re trying to say I think, just don’t drink. Don’t delay it for xyz reasons. The reasons and issues can be explored later. Frankly sorting through that stuff will go a million times better sober anyways.