someday

Thank you all for your tremendous support. As you know, my account has been here since 2008 and at one point I left, because I was embarrassed of how many times I blew it. And just kept drinking everyday for 14 more years.

Older son won't even acknowledge me right now. I am invisible to him.

Anyone that has followed my posts knew that a life and death situation on the 16th of April got me to stop on the 23rd of April. I still don't know what I was trying to prove but I was clean up until a couple of weeks ago having passed may, June and somewhere in the beginning of July I just blew it.

So I am committed to day 3 once again and it does seem easier this time. I am not getting shakes or anything, just had a major blackout on the 10th that caused probably PTSD from my son for the April incident.

I wish he would look up alcoholism. I really wish he would. We're not easy cause it's easy, we are here because it's hard.

Thank you again. Some of you were sober with me in 2008 are now mods, and I see that from looking back on past posts. I can't thank you guys enough for the support <3

birddawg

You're here now. That's what is important.

Anna

Someday, allow your son his feelings. He is probably scared and angry and will have to work through those emotions in his own way, in his own time.

Patcha

I started posting here in 2007. The people who have had sobriety since then are a real inspiration to me. This can be your last day 3! I'm excited for you and proud of you for persisting.

someday

He's being so angry I kind of snapped today because he won't talk to me at all.
I asked when he came home from work... "have you eaten today" ... answer No, but I'm fine. (that's what he says when he doesn't want anything from me)
I said that's not what I asked you. I asked you if you ate today... and walked out of the room. I am getting angry because he does this to me every time and I am trying to give him space but he ignores me when I try to talk to him.

He's perfect. He's smart, he's never drank, smoked a cigarette, did any drugs and he's almost 24. He feels trapped here because his brother is disabled and I am too. He feels like he'll have to live his life out caring for us which is also not true. I can feel the anger when he walks in the room.

I am honestly giving him space but like I said, he looks at me with huge disappointment and doesn't care about what I say.

I am heartbroken but I don't think he's gonna 'give" "THIS TIME"....

Anyway anyone who wants to know this history can look at my posts from this year.

Dee74

get sober for yourself someday,. Do it because you want to be the best you. Later on maybe then you can mend some fences.

someday

I'm also restarting my physical therapy for my back. I am going to do it at home but do it every day when I wake up. I had 4 back surgeries before coronavirus I had been doing so good. Then being home for a year I gained some weight... my back is always sore and I could have done something about it before but I'm doing it now. I am doing this walk excersise I found on youtube for 20 minutes then a slew of back stretches. So far I've done them 2 days in a row. 3 days sober 2 days strengthening my back. I am making some serious changes. Next to conquer smoking :/

Steely

All that matters is that you are here now someday.

Took me a longtime too.

Loving the changes you are putting into place, but try not rush things is my advice fwiw. Sobriety is key to it all.

Your son will change as he sees you change someday.

Evoo

You’re going to have to be very patient with your son, and recognize that his trauma is real and these wounds are fresh.

The best thing you can do for him is to put down the drink. Yes, alcoholism is a progressive disease, but don’t let your addiction voice use that as an excuse — you may be addicted, but continuing in our addictions is still a choice.

Start putting weeks, months and years between the sober you and the alcoholic. That may mean you need treatment and support. Then you can work on healing these relationships — not with words or promises, but by example.

someday

Day 4, with Day 3 with my exercise routine. And that Gawdammned voice. I hate it. I put on foot weights and start power walking in place.

someday

Day 4 now!!!!

Dee74

great stuff someday

D

Boondock

Hang in there someday, you're doing good. It gets easier with time.
You got this!!!

brighterday1234

When an alcoholic gets sober their life can begin to improve. External situations will turn out as they turn out and this is often favourably in my experience if that’s what’s meant to be 🙏

Anna

Good job, Someday.