My test…
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2021
Posts: 42
My test…
This is my first ultimate test - the weekend arriving! I’m a serious binge drinker at weekend often drink Friday and Saturday evenings saturdays were worse for me with at my worse 10+ hours drinking 🙈 total ashamed!
As you know I had mentioned the plans I had this weekend - I cancelled them. Later than I had wanted too but plucked up courage and done it!
now to hit this head on and prove my AV wrong 😑 I have got this! I can do this! Alcohol will not define my character anymore!
❤️
As you know I had mentioned the plans I had this weekend - I cancelled them. Later than I had wanted too but plucked up courage and done it!
now to hit this head on and prove my AV wrong 😑 I have got this! I can do this! Alcohol will not define my character anymore!
❤️
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
I suffered quitting for sure, but the suffering was made easier by understanding why I was suffering.
I wasn't/am not crazy. I was/am dealing with a chemical alteration caused by booze (or any drug).
This is addiction.
It takes time for the mind to normalize. For less addicted folks it might take 6 months. But for me, because I unknowingly relapsed for decades (binge drinker too), it took about 4 years or so before I really started to settle down.
The symptoms of my suffering were generally paranoia and obsession. I had a serious issue with my vision too. I had trouble judging distances and walking in the dark. Crazy? Nope. Just brain damage from drinking.
I always say that these things didn't really get better (who stays sick for 4 years), I got used to them, then they got better.
The anguish came from my brain's inability to produced dopamine etc. This was enhanced by booze, and it made me crave hard. Deny the crave and it is hell on earth. It comes from all angles. Good, bad, indifferent. Left brain vs Right brain.
This is addiction.
So these days I still crave, but I know better. I also get high on life all the time by doing regular non drinker things (e.g. pet my doggy, watch a good/bad movie, work out, fiddle with my finances, clean my garage etc etc).
Time and suffering.
Thanks.
I wasn't/am not crazy. I was/am dealing with a chemical alteration caused by booze (or any drug).
This is addiction.
It takes time for the mind to normalize. For less addicted folks it might take 6 months. But for me, because I unknowingly relapsed for decades (binge drinker too), it took about 4 years or so before I really started to settle down.
The symptoms of my suffering were generally paranoia and obsession. I had a serious issue with my vision too. I had trouble judging distances and walking in the dark. Crazy? Nope. Just brain damage from drinking.
I always say that these things didn't really get better (who stays sick for 4 years), I got used to them, then they got better.
The anguish came from my brain's inability to produced dopamine etc. This was enhanced by booze, and it made me crave hard. Deny the crave and it is hell on earth. It comes from all angles. Good, bad, indifferent. Left brain vs Right brain.
This is addiction.
So these days I still crave, but I know better. I also get high on life all the time by doing regular non drinker things (e.g. pet my doggy, watch a good/bad movie, work out, fiddle with my finances, clean my garage etc etc).
Time and suffering.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 526
I have come to believe that (1) there is a type of alcoholic who cannot stay sober without completely submitting to the recovery program of A.A. and (2) I am that type of alcoholic. Feel free to PM me if you ever want to chat more about that. In the meantime, here are some quotes from the Big Book that might be relevant:
The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent.
As we look back, we feel we had gone on drinking many years beyond the point where we could quit on our will power.
I knew from that moment that I had an alcoholic mind. I saw that will power and self-knowledge would not help in those strange mental blank spots.
When our friend related his experience, the man agreed that no amount of will power he might muster could stop his drinking for long.
And yet, "There is a solution." (BB, p. 25.)
The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent.
As we look back, we feel we had gone on drinking many years beyond the point where we could quit on our will power.
I knew from that moment that I had an alcoholic mind. I saw that will power and self-knowledge would not help in those strange mental blank spots.
When our friend related his experience, the man agreed that no amount of will power he might muster could stop his drinking for long.
And yet, "There is a solution." (BB, p. 25.)
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Our first few weekends of sobriety do take some adjustment. Addiction is hard to stop. I drank almost everyday at the end so it took me some time to build a new healthier habit and for my brain to accept the new healthier habit. I went to bed earlier than usual and had many different options of non alcoholic beverages. I stayed close to SR. Read a lot. Breathed deeply a lot. If a craving hit I would distract myself. It was not the most comfortable of situations. I figured it would take me awhile to feel better considering how hard I worked towards drinking. I had to work harder to stay sober. We can do hard things. You can do this and be happy for it.
Stay close. Post often. Take care of you!
Stay close. Post often. Take care of you!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
I think wiping the weekend slate clean shows great wisdom Wel. This weekend, keep really busy and script every minute. Write it down. At first I didn't take it one day at a time. I took it one hour - or less - at a time. Just keep moving and lay your tired head down sober the next few nights. Monday morning will come around and you will be so glad of your decisions.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Absolutely. I still logon 2-3 times a day. There are so many reasons that it helps us to remain sober:
By reading other posts we learn more about our disease, and how to stay sober.
By reading other posts we are reminded of the damage caused by drinking.
By posting and sharing our experience it reinforces our decision to quit, and helps others.
By helping others we feel better about ourselves, something most of us need, especially early on.
By reading other posts we learn more about our disease, and how to stay sober.
By reading other posts we are reminded of the damage caused by drinking.
By posting and sharing our experience it reinforces our decision to quit, and helps others.
By helping others we feel better about ourselves, something most of us need, especially early on.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 743
I drank mostly on weekends. I went to a lot of AA meetings when I first got sober but Friday and Saturday meetings were some of the most important. It got to be routine. Race home from Friday work so i had time for a quick, hard, run and a shower before the meeting.
I had somewhere to be. It didn't take long for me to start looking foward to the company of other sober alcoholics.
I had somewhere to be. It didn't take long for me to start looking foward to the company of other sober alcoholics.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2021
Posts: 42
Friday night success!!! And waking up for a Saturday shift sober! Amazing feeling!!!!! 🥰 now to tackle Saturday evening - which I have my daughters friend over for a sleepover so that will keep me sober! ❤️❤️
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 1,599
Well done Wel! Every time you DON'T pick up a drink, you grow. You're planting sober seeds! Isn't it wonderful to wake up sober? I had forgotten what it was like to wake up feeling normal instead of like death warmed up.
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