C0ntr0ls

I used to stress a lot more then I do now. Now, I take care of what I can and let the rest sort it's self out.
I read this last week on one of my professional forums...
"Don't light yourself on fire to keep someone else warm" There is a lot of truth in this.

Good Luck.

anxiousrock

Thanks everyone. I got a few hrs of sleep, I think but now everything has wore off and I'm just all panic again.
hoping that my Dr can maybe call me today as I can't deal with this well.
the naseau, pounding heart rate etc are tough. I think I will take the day off my HIIT workout to try to let my body heal.
plus with very little sleep I really have no energy.
I can see the same cycle happening all over again unless I change some things.
I only had 1 ativan left from a very long time ago so I am hoping it's more manageable today.

Mizz

Gosh. This is terrible, ya?
I do remember when I was in a place of such severe anxiety and panic that I felt like I was going to lose my mind. The "episodes" lasted for hours and sometimes even the entire day. I could feel the episodes leave my body and I was so exhausted from them. My last full blown episode was in December of 2020. I just wanted to share that I understand and I do hope the doctor calls you ASAP.
I did not take the doctor route.

Tools I used:
Box breathing.
GAD worksheet ( on the mental health portion of the forum)
Baths
Tea
Exercise
Sleep
This forum.

Stay close. Keep posting. Only do what you can and leave the rest for another day. You are ONE person. ONE. I believe in you and know you will get past this.

novips

My recovery is rooted in A.A., so that's where I look for ways of dealing with stress. Here are some related questions I ask myself that might be helpful:

• Prayer: When I get up in the morning, am I getting on my knees and asking God to keep me sober that day? Am I thanking God for keeping me sober before I go to bed at night? When I become aware of stress during the day, am I asking God for help / clarity to do the next right thing and leave the results up to God? Personally, I try to say the 3d Step and 7th Step prayer every morning and night.
• Meetings: I've been clean and sober over 18 years, and I still lock in 4 meetings per week on my calendar. Obviously, working 60 hours per week makes meeting attendance more difficult. But I've worked 60-hour weeks, and I know there's still time for other things -- like a one-hour Zoom meeting at the beginning or end of the day.
• Step Work: No matter how many or few days someone's been sober, if they are following the A.A. path of recovery then there is step work to be done. Do I know what steps I'm supposed to be working on? Do I know where the instructions for those steps are in the Big Book? Am I following those instructions? Do I have a good sponsor to help me?
• Service: Do I have a service commitment? Am I working with other alcoholics?
• HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired): Something I've found helpful when going through stressful stretches at work is to load up on meal replacement bars or shakes. There are some good ones -- and then I'm not shoving a greasy chicken in my mouth when I get a 10-minute break. Rather, I just reach in my backpack every few hours and "enjoy" one.

advbike

Thinking of you AR. Deep breathing.. Set some boundaries. It is very hard for some of us to do that, myself included.

I would also start looking. Just a brief scan of some job boards, because obviously you're busy. It might give you the confidence you need to take action and make a move. If you have to medicate yourself for job stress.. it's not the right job.

anxiousrock

Thank you so much everyone. I made it over a hump. I'm exhausted but I talked to my district manager and she told me not to panic yet. She also said I will be going back to my office in 12 days and then I will have a divide between work and home, which I desperately need.
today I am working for only another hour and I'm shutting it down when I am supposed to, not keeping going for 5 extra hours.
I hope that helps.
Also, didn't drink, like I normally would have!! It was the longest and worst panic attack I've ever had and considering I'm still panicking this is ridiculous.
but I'm not tempted to go grab a bottle.

anxiousrock

yeah I can't do AA anymore. I got to step 10 and my sponsor pushed me to get sponsees. I was only 2 months sober, in a horrible state of mind, and literally had nothing to provide to anyone.
I kept going to meetings but I couldn't take it anymore. Listening to the same people say the same thing everyday.
I completely respect AA and what it does for people with no options, but I had a bad sponsor and I just don't think it's for me.

Dee74

I'm sorry to hear that AR cos I remember when you found the 24/7 meetings and were very excited.
Would a different sponsor make a difference?

D

anxiousrock

at this point I am not sure. I was enjoying it, but the dedication needed is not something I can do. I do not have an extra 5hrs a day for it. Like 2+ meetings, book work, memorizing stuff, I can't do it. Plus, you're expected to sponsor with only 2 months sobriety? I don't have my **** together lol

Steely

I'm glad you spoke with the district manager AR. Glad you are "shutting it down" and not working the extra 5 hours. Glad you are taking proactive steps to care about you AR. Glad you didn't grab the bottle!

You're getting there AR. The steps and actions you have taken prove this to be true.

Hope today is a better day.

advbike

Duplicate Post

advbike

You're amazingly strong anxiousrock! Glad you brought it to the DM.

Try to unwind a bit and do take a look at the job boards. You deserve better.

Boondock

What kind of AA meetings are you going to? I was never pushed to do anything, I never had a workbook nor was expected to memorize anything.
It's not supposed to be that way.

anxiousrock

I think I just had a bad sponsor then. She said i have to do minimum 2 meetings a day where I sit, listen and am not distracted (over zoom), but she said I should try for the in person, which I don't have a car and can't walk 40mins each way to a meeting twice a day lol.
she wanted me to memorize all the opening readings, how it works etc, plus the prayers in the book (staring with step 3 prayer, lords prayer etc), plus I had to have meetings with her and read the entire book which took a long time. I wasn't as busy with work then but if I had to do this now, it's not possible!!
at 2 months sober she told me to go on the sponsor list. I told her I wasn't ready and she said I have to help others.
I told her I couldn't. After talking to her more she told me she couldn't sponsor me anymore.
I kept going to meetings, but did them at my own pace. Much better. I don't want another sponsor like that.

anxiousrock

Thank you. Normally I like my job but it's so overwhelming right now.