Toughroad1209

Been sober for 3 months now. I feel so much better physically. I get great sleep. Haven’t had any hangovers. No 4:00 am wake ups feeling anxious or weird. No mornings that I wake up and have to run through my bank accounts to see the destruction of my finances. My wife is so much happier with me as she says she has been at piece with me for how I am now conducting myself. But with all these great things I’m still not happy. I guess I will be miserable sober because I haven’t found my new happiness as I’m agitated regularly but I pretend to be happy with my family but I know if I go back to drinking it will lead to more miserable situations. Don’t know what to think but if being miserable sober keeps me out of trouble, I would rather have that then get another dwi because my alcoholic thinking makes me think I can drink and drive. This is where I am after 90 days.

nez

Congrats on the 90 days, that is awesome!!! Stay the course and good things will happen as life takes on a new slant. For years when I was drinking, I said that all I ever really wanted, was to be happy. That was one of my excuses, I just wanted to contribute a happy person to the universe, not another miserable sad sack. Needless to say, the result was the complete opposite at the end of my drinking days.

I spent far too much time looking for spectacular happiness and wouldn’t recognize serenity even if occurred, which it never did. In recovery, I have come to realize that what I genuinely wanted was serenity.

The serenity that comes from being comfortable in my own skin and being able to face life on life’s terms. It comes from doing the next indicated right action and wanting what I get, rather than from getting what I want.

Reid82

Congrats on 90 days.

Patcha

Congratualtions on 90 days! That's a wonderful achievement and I'm so proud of you! It definitely takes a while for your mind and emotions to catch up with your new sobriety. The AV (addictive voice) is like a monster under the bed. You feel uneasy because you know it's there and might grab your ankle at any moment, even though you're careful to keep both feet under the sheets. A lot of people feel depressed or in a slump when the novelty of sobriety wears off. Your brain chemicals have been pretty messed up and it takes time to right them. Have you talked to your doctor about it? There might be medications or programs that will help you feel better.

Dee74

Congrats on 90 days TR

Around three months I wondered if I'd ever feel joy again but it came back.
For me the key was to focus more on building a sober life I loved, not on a life spent mourning the drinking life I lost.

D

Robbie64

Congratulations on 90 days of sobriety Toughroad

brighterday1234

Congratulations on 90 days sober!!

ConfidenceMaven

Congrats!

BackandScared

What a nice message.
One of the most difficult parts of becoming sober was to also reconcile with who I was. There were many reasons for my drinking; once I got sober, i realised the main reason was that this was the way I chose to address challenges in life. This realisation made me incredibly sad and disappointed in myself. When life tested me, when I had to show what kind of person I really was, I chose drinking.

With enough sober time I came to realise something else: I have chosen another path now; when life throws challenges at me, I can be the person I want to be, not the person who has lost all choices, because I could only choose drinking. I can choose serenity as nez said, or action, sadness or something else. I can even choose to escape, as long as I don't make the mistake of using an addictive substance as escape route. I want to keep my options open and addiction closes them all.

You can now choose what to do with your sadness or agitation/anger/ whatever is preventing you from feeling the happy self you aspire to be. Massive congratulations on 90 days!

Steely

Congratulations BackandScared.

least

At around 3 months sober, I wasn't 'feeling it' and it was suggested that I start practicing gratitude every day. At first it was hard cause I was early in sobriety and just beginning to assess the mess I'd made of my life. But I did it anyway, and it wasn't long before I was feeling gratitude very often. About anything, big or small.

Try that and see if you start feeling better. I found that practicing gratitude makes me happier.

Introvrtd1

Congrats!

D122y

I am super sad off and on still after 6 years clean.

It is a chemical thing. Dopamine etc. take time to normalize. Doing fun stuff helps, but even then I get down.

I know that being a drunk was killing me. I would be pretty messed up today if I didn't decide to change my lifestyle to a born again non drinker.

Drinking was a learned behavior. Turns out, I was a non drinker that go tricked by the system.

So many regret relapse after any period of sobriety. Even decades.

I used to say all kinds of stuff to motivate myself and others to stay clean, but we all know it is the right and only way to live normally as a human.

God never intended us to be drunks.

One of the many cool things about being this clean, besides being as healthy as I can be, is that the real me is always present.

I trust it. If folks don't like me, for whatever reason, they don't like me. I am ok with that.

Suffering and time.

Thanks.

Hevyn

Hi Toughroad - very proud of you for reaching 3 mos. sober.
I know what you mean, & I felt the same. I was very relieved to be free of it, but I was resentful & thinking nothing would be fun or exciting again. I was remembering my early days of drinking - when it was still somewhat manageable & hadn't taken over my life. Being dependent on it at the end of my drinking career was hell. I didn't make a move without it - I was trapped. I kept reading here on SR that things would get better - and out of nowhere they did. One day I realized I was at peace, & no longer filled with resentment because of feeling deprived.
You will get there too.