How gross would that beer be right now?
 

Been working outside from sun up to sun down past couple of days. Its hot.
Yesterday I was hot, tired, thirsty and hungry. It was early afternoon.
1.5 years ago it would have been prime beer time.

My AV did try to make an appearance. "How good would an ice cold beer be right now?"
​​​​​​"I don't know and dont care. I don't drink."

Instead I grabbed some sliced watermelon and sat back enjoying the ice cold sweetness.
Man I mean it was delicious!

As I sat there getting hydrated, hunger satisfied and a sweetness fix, my thoughts wandered.

Somehow it got back to that ice cold beer. I could see it, I could imagine taking a drink, I could almost taste it.
As I took another bite of that delicious, soothing watermelon I couldn't help but think,
" how gross would that beer be right now?" 🤢🤮

Instead of the smooth sweetness and light, satisfying feeling of the watermelon I could be forcing down a bitter, heavy, carbonated poison that will leave me bloated and craving more. Which of course I would try to satisfy with more poison until I passed out.
No thanks!

Instead I smiled at the miracle of where I am now and got on with my chores.

For 30 plus years that cold beer would have been my choice. Man I have been missing out.

For those just getting started and fearing the future without alcohol I can say from personal experience you are missing out.

This was not some magical watermelon. I have eaten many watermelons but not sure any ever tasted this good. But it was just a normal melon.

Or was it?
This particular melon overpowered a 30 plus year addiction. I mean it made my long time favorite thing in the world seem gross. It made me feel good like the poison never did. It cured my hunger, my thirst and gave me a boost of energy like alcohol never could. It helped me awake sober, refreshed and hydrated this morning.

Maybe it is magical? Or maybe my hard work is paying off.

Best part is,,,,,, there is more in the fridge!!

Keep on keepin on folks

There is light at the end of the tunnel. Behind us is the train. Only one way to go. To the light!

Having a beer on a hot day after working hard, may taste good, but that is irrelevant. Taste has nothing to do with why I don't drink. Nor is that fantasy picture of 'relaxing with a cold one,' which is an even sillier reason to drink, because relaxing with a cold one leads to gulping the next and the next and eventually plunging into a conspicuous staggering drunk. Staggering and slurring my speech is easy to do and requires no skill or talent. I've been there and done that, and I don't take pride in it. I don't drink because the consequences to me are always predictable and always unacceptable.

Thanks for sharing that, fishkiller. Eating something delicious can be the most effective, instant relief that I know from any drinking urge. It works so well because the experience taps into the same brain mechanisms alcohol does (taste is not the main part of this though) - experiencing it does indeed feel magical at times :). I'm currently trying to tweak my eating pattern a bit to take more advantage of this, because lately all of my urges tend to come before noon, and my otherwise pretty healthy long-term diet rarely involves eating before 11am-12pm (often start even later), so it does not serve me the best right now. It risks the "H" of the HALT concept even if I don't feel hunger directly. My natural, effortless eating pattern is what many call intermittent fasting, but I need to shift the schedule a bit. It's quite challenging to try and change this as I typically have zero appetite for food early in the day, and hard to force. Reading your post has helped to reinforce this adjustment.

Yeah, I never drank alcohol for the taste it was solely for the effect. Take the effect away and just leave the taste and I'd rather have some juice.

Also that feeling DriGuy mentioned. Catty whompass slurred speech half an idiot drunkard...no thanks just not interested.

I certainly have no doubt how good that first drink would taste. But fortunately I also remember how the 20th drink tasted the next morning. I remember the drinks as a group and not as individual events. One of the tools that works well for me is to remember volume. It was never one beer for me, even when I was a kid. It was a disgusting vat of booze that nearly killed me. Every day. Not going back to that ever.

My takeaway from this share is that the AV still strikes us with some old patterns of what it thinks is relaxing, rewarding or re energizing. Alcohol is no longer those.

That simple pleasure of watermelon put the AV to rest. I felt the same way last night. It was nice day, and I felt like a sweet. I wasn’t drunk, so I could drive to get one from a bakery. The short drive was exciting, I bought a plain old brownie and it was great.

Im finding that the little rewards like waking up fresh, being able to drive at anytime, and enjoying food much more still are going strong. I’m close to 2.5 years sober.

With alcohol the effects come with diminishing returns each time we consume. With sobriety the rewards grow.

Great post Fish.. yes for me it was always an image of myself holding a cold one that would pop into my brain. Yet they come in 6 and 12 packs, haha. I think that's part of the problem, because we all know what happens after the first one goes down. I generally wouldn't start until the work was done because, well, not much more gonna happen on the fence, or the yard, or the car after that..

Great job on the watermelon! I find fruit to be so amazingly satisfying, and it's actually healthy! Hard to imagine..

Yep

Even though I am beyond happy to be sober that AV is still there.
Thankfully I have put in the work and have learned enough to know that guy is an idiot. No way in hell I would have just one.

The simple pleasures can certainly be the best! Sometimes they are planned and sometimes they just happen. 1st time I drove to the store at night after I quit drinking was kind of strange but awesome.

Yep

This is the grossest part

I agree with Surrendered in that it's not the first, it's what follows. And there will always be a follower. Always. So even if the first drink doesn't put me on my arse, it's still the one that does the damage. The coldie that keep giving, until it takes back unforgivingly.

Watermelon story was great fishkiller. I love watermelon, it was a treat as a child and I can see the magic in it. So many great stories here.

I could be wrong but think there is a word (psych) that describes your experience. That is, that which used please you now becomes repugnant. Ugh!

You've cracked watermelon theory fishkiller. Well done.

Thanks steely!

I too grew up eating watermelon as a treat. Seed spitting contests were a given. :)
As I grew older, and drunker, it got pushed aside. Among many other things.

On this journey to find the new, real, me it is good to see some of my predrunk pleasures still bring me pleasure.

Great post, Fishkiller! I am over three sober and for some reason this time of year has me thinking am I missing out. I am in a new job that I love but drinking is accepted and encouraged. I am very strong in my sobriety but it is so great to come on here and be reminded about "playing the tape forward". I am doing awesome and there are times that I forget how horribly difficult it was to get where I am today. Like everyone else here, that one drink will not work out at all like I might hope. I flipped the alcoholic switch in my brain and there is no going back.

And making necklaces from the seeds Fishkiller. Oh, the simple pleasures.

When I was a kid we used to get into seed wars, we used to pinch the seeds between our fingers and they would shoot out and stick to your skin..lol

Watermelon Theory rocks!

LOL
Thanks!

I had forgotten all about that!

🙂

Hey Fish!! 😃 Gonna have SIX MONTHS in a few days….At this stage in the game, a cold (many, like a 12-pack) beer wouldve gone down smooth and fast! The first 6 wouldve been refreshing…The last six (or more), would be slower but no less intoxicating….Then the tunnel vision, sleepiness, then passed out sleep only to wake up the next morning or the middle of the night feeling like butt!!

NOPE!!! Not worth reliving that nightmare…I just had some cold water and a snack!

Keep the push Fish! I’m with ya. We all are!

:grouphug: