Mags1

Aly, it’s lovely that you’re proud of your niece and nephews. I’m sorry your mom causes problems with her drinking. My dad was an alcoholic. He was an ok guy when he was sober. He did mellow in his later years though.

Sounds a good weekend planned Marty.

dustyfox, Hector seems to have made himself at home in your house. Your cats must be very forgiving, I’m sure many cats would chase them out. Enjoy your weekend.

Sober53, all the best moving house.

Lovely sunny evening here, blue skies with a few white clouds.

Alysheba

Actually, Mags, it's my sister, my niece and nephews' mom who is the raging alcoholic, not my mom. But thank you for being so sweet about my being proud and loving my niece and nephews so much. xxoo I am crazy for those kids!
And, yes, Dusty, it does go by so quickly. (I love your Hector story, awww...) I still remember my very handsome eldest nephew sitting in his high chair throwing spaghetti at me before he was 1 yo and laughing his enchanting laugh, which he's always had, this lovely laugh. Now he's so handsome and grown up, still a wonderful person. He's so shy and he's been so blessed. I guess we all have our things. I was lucky enough to have been able to spend a lot of time with him when he was a baby. I took some time off of work to help my sis out, his mom. It was her first baby and she was sober at the time and needed some help, which I was happy to do . It wasn't until the twins, after my niece, that she started drinking heavily again. The twins were a complete surprise. Still, not an excuse. She has been a tiny bit better (?) lately, but I haven't seen or talked to her in almost 2 months.
I remember the Sick Man Prayer and the Serenity Prayer a lot when dealing with or thinking about her. She is truly sick and still very in denial about the damage she's done. For me, therapy is/was a big part of staying clean. They are kind of like a sponsor to me. I want to be emotionally sober as well as physically sober. In my family, they can be two very different things. So I've been working on it for a while with a psychiatrist. I'm lucky I've been brave enough to face my bad stuff and apologize where I've been able. I wanted to stop making the same mistakes over again!
I'm lucky I've had SR for support and lots of great posts on the subject.💗
Love and peace to you all. ☮

SoberLeigh

^^^^^ Thanks for your post, Aly. Dealing with alcoholism within the family can be quite the challenge and a very painful experience, too.

It brings our own alcoholism front and center in our minds. I worry about the negative influence I was on the young family members.

andyh

Hello Bim

Alysheba

Yes, I do too. I've always worried about that. I was mostly successful at keeping it away from them but they have seen me a couple of times that I wish they hadn't. But I stopped that pronto. They know I'm sober now, but it does bring family alcoholism front and center, like you said. I've actually been wanting to go to al anon regarding my sister, I don't want her to drive me crazy and I have been wanting to talk to the kids about going to the meetings with or without me. They are so busy, I'm hoping I can talk to them and get them to go with me. I just want them to know they are not alone and they have control over how they choose to react. Luckily, as of now, non of them drink or take drugs. My eldest nephew is old enough and has a beer once in a while with friends, but I pray, no problems develop. So for, the poor kid works so much, he doesn't have time to drink!. But I'd love a family Al Anon meeting we could go to. Even my sister wants us to go. I think she wishes the kids had a better understanding of the disease too. Wish me luck when I approach them on the subject. 🧡💛💚💙💜💗🙏
But the old adage, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink, may apply here... ☮
Thank you all so much. You are all so very kind.

saoutchik

Great post Alysheba, it is impressive that you are confronting these things. Your nephew/niece sound like great young people. I don't get to see my 2 grandchildren as much as I would like, in part because of Covid but also because my daughter is close to her mum/my ex which I suspect is also plays its part (with some justification I should add)

Interesting tale (tail?) about your neighbours cat dustyfox. Being a pair, your two are probably used to sharing "territory" and don't see Hector as a threat. Cats have never struck me as jealous types for some reason.

I am fairly fast on the old keyboard bim!

Alysheba

I have heard cats can be territorial, but I think you're on to something Sao. Maybe they are already used to sharing their space. Maybe they just like Hector's vibe. He must have a good one or no way would the cats accept him. So cute!

Thank you so much Sao. It can be difficult, but no one talked to us about it as kids and I think being open about it and supportive are about the best things I can do for them at this point. I really am lucky I have such wonderful niece and nephews. My sister has said some jealous rantings about me. I know the kids know her and her aptitude for not telling the truth and I think they are pretty good at realizing when she may be embellishing. I appreciate it.

SoberLeigh

Al Anon helped me, Aly; the group was
very supportive and I acquired some tools with which to cope. I am planning to go back soon for another family member.

Thankfully, my sister has joined me in sobriety and now has almost 2-1/2 years.

Never give up hope.

Boondock

The cats in my neighborhood are out all night fighting, screaming and carousing around starting trouble with each other.

Alysheba

That's fantastic Leigh! Look where it could potentially lead? Like you said, we can always use our time to acquire more tools on a different side of alcoholism.

SoberLeigh

Do those cats keep you up at night, Boondock? Stray cats don’t last around here for very long; too many predators- alligators, bobcats, etc.

Boondock

Sometimes...I used to get coyotes in the neighborhood because I live right by a state park but they have been working on the train tracks so the wild life is not as prevalent as it was before. These cats are pets their just outside cats....their getting lucky right now because no coyotes around.

Mags1

My apologies Aly. It’s even better for them that they have a loving Aunty Aly. ❤️ I hope your sister stops drinking one day soon.

Leigh oh gosh, I wouldn’t like to think of alligators round these parts(not that it would ever happen) I guess in some parts of US people are maybe used to them.

venuscat

They trained the coyotes to work on the train tracks???

(Sorry, couldn't help it )

Boondock

**-_-} <-------- My lego man head emoji

venuscat

That's very good

I have a box of lego here that we bought and did not end up giving to the giftee....I need someone to give it to. Could this person be you dear Boondock?

saoutchik

Sounds like me during my drinking days.

Boondock

No thanks save them for a birthday gift to a lucky kid, I have enough of those little land mines around here from my daughter....Have you ever stepped on one of those barefoot!!!

Boondock

Hahah!! Sao I was thinking that when I wrote it

SoberLeigh

I have and they hurt more than one might imagine - had to stifle some bad words that we on the top of my tongue.