Jillian2563

So I remember why I never continued with AA in the past. I find the literature so hard to read/comprehend due to the eras in which they were written. I really like the big group meetings however. Are there any updated versions of the books? Or is that what my sponsor is for; to help me understand? How do I interact with my sponsor? I approached one yesterday and we connected, she told me to read the first step (that was yesterday) and have not heard back. Is the ball in my court now?

I believe all this is why I quit attempting the program before. It’s not the only tool in my toolbox this time, but I’m exploring all options and really trying to give it a chance.

Eddiebuckle

Getting a sponsor who can guide you through the steps and AA literature is a really good place to start.

The big book is definitely a challenge given that it was written in the 1930's. Most sponsors will guide you through the book and explain their understanding of what it means. 12 & 12 is easier to read and explains what the steps mean. AA also publishes several books, such as "Living Sober" that I found helpful. I think NA's text is easier to read but it is less comprehensive. It may be easiest to start with the NA text and the 12 & 12 initially, but I would recommend that you eventually read the big book. There's a lot in there that will help you get and stay sober.

If you like to attend meetings, you could seek out a Big Book meeting, where they read from the big book and then discuss the pages read.

Boondock

Howdy, read about step one in the Big book and the 12 & 12 and then think about it and how it relates to you and then contact your sponsor and discuss it. Also if you go to youtube and look up AA speakers there is a ton of recordings there some specific about step study. You should be able to find local meetings that are step study meetings too rather than open discussion if your so inclined.

Boondock

The simple humble action of walking into an AA meeting and finding a sponsor shows you've already began working step one.

Boondock

Think of the Big book and the 12&12 as a map and your the traveler... your the one who has to walk the path .It takes time, effort and willingness.

fini

https://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&rct=j...uekR__kh45gmxJ

pamphlet on sponsorship.
many other pamphlets available at any AA meeting and online.

BeABetterMan

I recommend going to big book study meetings. It forces you to read the entire book in a focused environment. But more importantly AAs share their interpretation and experience with the book. I have trouble reading ANY book because of my attention span, but those meetings have really helped me.

By the way, a riddle…what do hospitals, jails and mental institutions all have in common?







They all send their drunks to AA.

aasharon90

I went to a many big book, step, discussion meetings, esp.
within the first 7 yrs of early recovery. I opened my ears and
listened intentively, using a highlighter and taking notes in
the margin of my books.

I watched and listened to the wise who were achieving long
term healthy happy sobriety/recovery themselves. I saw and
heard what I so desperately wanted.

My sponsor led me by actions, suggestions and example. I followed
to the best of my human sober ability to achieve what she and many
others with good solid recovery had.

As many had their own lives and agendas, so did I. A wife, mom,
them with their own careers and families, i followed suggestions
passed on to me so that I could learn how to live my own life sober,
healthy, happy and honest.

If i wanted what others had, I had to be responsible for my own
recovery. No one was gonna keep me sober but me. And I went
out to get it. So i learned about staying sober by going to those
meetings and surrounding myself with others like me learning
how to remain sober one day at a time.

I learned how to respect other folks space while trudging on my
recovery journey mostly by myself because I had the best teachers
in recovery to guide me along.

My faith, recovery program and support from others has
blessed me with continuous sobriety for a many yrs now.

There are no excuses to achieve freedom from addiction.

Stay the course and continue to learn holding onto all
your recovery lifelines available to those who want them.

novips

Some reactions (these may come across as being a bit harsh, but please keep in mind that their tone has little if anything to do with their veracity):
1. If you are a real alcoholic, then recovery will be hard. If you are going to quit every recovery path that's hard, then recovery will be a real longshot.
2. It's no coincidence that the Big Book talks about the alcoholic as, among other things, "an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way." Instead of trying to reinvent A.A. to suit you by finding an alternative "basic text", I suggest you first go through the Steps using the same Big Book that has worked for countless others. You can always supplement your recover with additional texts later.
3. In my experience, a good sponsor can definitely bridge the gap between the dated text in the Big Book and my experiences today. You are definitely free to find a sponsor who agrees that the dated text is an obstacle. As just one example (FWIW), I skip "To The Wives" when working with sponsees -- for too many reasons to list here.
4. Never expect your sponsor to call you unless they've agreed to do so. Copping a resentment about your sponsor not calling you if that was never agreed to is like a cancer victim throwing away the cure for cancer because they don't like the packaging.
5. Keep an open mind about the possibility that A.A. may in fact be the only tool in your toolbox that is suited to the task at hand. The idea that A.A. is just one of many solutions that can be picked up and put down like serving oneself at a buffet line has killed many alcoholics. That's not to say that A.A. is the only solution for everyone. Rather, it's to suggest that A.A. may be the only solution for some.
6. I recommend you get a sponsor who will take you through the steps using the Big Book. The 12x12 is a useful supplement, but the Big Book is our basic text.
All the foregoing obviously have caveats.

Mizz

It is okay to take your time when finding a person to sponsor you. I attended meetings on zoom, with my camera off, to be with people who shared the struggle I was going through. It was very helpful for me in the beginning. I did start to participate more once I was comfortable. I did find a sponsor as well.

Ultimately I did not stick with the path of AA but I know it has helped countless other people who are alcoholics. Sobriety is one day at a time and each day allows for us to gain more strength within ourselves and the road we are walking. Listen to yourself because you do have the answers for your life. If AA is the road you are walking then find someone who follows the book to a tee. Walks the walk. Has a very healthy approach to the program and their life. Not everyone is the healthiest even if they have been sober for years on end and are in AA. Just my thoughts on the matter.

Scd619x

I understand what you mean about the language and the tone of the Big Book, it is outdated English. The 12 and 12 i found easier to read as it explained the steps of the Big Book in more detail. The sponsor's job is to take you through the steps of the program so you work them and hopefully recover to whatever extent that allows you to live a sober life. Some sponsors have all the time in the world and others have less because of lots of commitments so make sure you get the right one, if this lady doesn't have much time there are plenty of others but do try this one first and see. Check these out, you might love them as much as i did when first coming into AA, Joe and Charlie. They explain the steps in a great way, please do try one:

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q...e+aa&FORM=VDRE

Oh one more thing, try and remember that the Big Book was mostly written for end stage alcoholics back in the day, these men and women would be 24/7 drinkers when not locked up in some way. Serious drinkers. Nowadays we have much less of these than we do alcoholics that might be coming in 20 years before being anywhere near that stage, if ever. The Big Book does apply to anyone who decides they are an alcoholic as it is a design for living not just a quick sober fix which can help people try and live life in a way that means they dont feel the need to pick up a drink again.

Keep coming back no matter what anyone else says, AA was founded for you.

someday147

Hi Mizzuno, may I ask what path did you choose instead of AA? I'm currently in AA and really like it, always good to hear of others options though.

Thanks

Scd619x

I've been in AA for a long time, if you are looking at other options i would have a word with your sponsor ASAP. If you are asking out of interest most alcoholics/ heavy drinkers quit by themselves but their route to recovery would be down to the person not in a structured way like us at AA.

Mizz

Mizzuno's Path:

Mentally: I participate here to be with like minded people who are recovering from alcoholism/ drug abuse daily.
Physically: A structured daily running or weights program
Emotionally, mentally and spiritually: Study of Nichiren Buddhism and a practice morning and night of Gongyo and Daimoku.

That is my path. I am happy, hopeful. positive and determined to succeed each day.

PeacefulWater12

I felt the same way at first about the Big Book. Couldn't understand it, old fashioned.

Over time I have grown to love it. The language it uses. I find it beautiful. I love Big Book studies.

Also is great especially in earlier quit to have something to study and take our minds off ourselves!

Boondock

I agree...know what's interesting look up addiction recovery prior to 1935.....At one time Freud prescribed cocaine for alcoholism .I would have never missed an appointment " Boy I just love this new experimental therapy doc!!".. lol

PeacefulWater12

Haha! I can't see any possible problem with that!

RecklessDrunk

I've heard the big book described as a manual for flying a 747. You can try to read it and figure out how to fly the plane or have a pilot take you through it.

I called my sponsor everyday in my first 90 days. That was the first thing he said to do, call everyday in the first 90. This way I guess I didn't feel like I was a pain in the neck. I have trouble asking people for help.

Besides the steps it was helpful to let someone know where i was at everyday with my cravings/obsession to drink. Did I feel like drinking today? Did something get me upset, how did I handle it? Did something get me too happy or excited and how did I handle that?

We used in a similar manner so we had lots of good stories and laughs, tons of laughs. We look back and see just how insane our thought process was. We can hear each others old stories and just see the bad ideas taking shape.

Jillian2563

Thanks everyone. All very helpful