Shut up AV. Help please
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 440
Originally Posted by Sober45 
For me, I always forgot because I didn't do the necessary work to stay connected with the way I felt on day one. Because one thing is for sure, the alcoholic brain does forget the misery. It's unreal how this stuff can bring us to death's door and yet we still go back after a period of sobriety, risking our lives!
You don't have to do that again. This can be your last quit.
What is your plan of distraction? Mine involved lots or sugar and TV. I was on SR 24/7 for the first few months...it was my lifeline to information that kept the sober me alive.
Do you believe that with time, you'll have a better life without alcohol or do you feel you'll always be missing out? That was a big one for me. I couldn't stop until I decided my life will better without booze because I will make it so. And it is!
Trying to moderate was another big one that kept me in the loop. I had to accept once and for all moderation was not for me.
Above all, I never ever EVER romanticize alcohol. As soon as I felt the AV coming on, distract distract distract!
Time can heal, my friend, it really can
P.S. as I write this I can see the post from Scd619x above, ditto!
You don't have to do that again. This can be your last quit.
What is your plan of distraction? Mine involved lots or sugar and TV. I was on SR 24/7 for the first few months...it was my lifeline to information that kept the sober me alive.
Do you believe that with time, you'll have a better life without alcohol or do you feel you'll always be missing out? That was a big one for me. I couldn't stop until I decided my life will better without booze because I will make it so. And it is!
Trying to moderate was another big one that kept me in the loop. I had to accept once and for all moderation was not for me.
Above all, I never ever EVER romanticize alcohol. As soon as I felt the AV coming on, distract distract distract!
Time can heal, my friend, it really can
P.S. as I write this I can see the post from Scd619x above, ditto!
And you know, it really gets your brain concentrated on other things than booze.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Hi Polaroid. How are you feeling today?
That AV is brutal, isn’t it? It whispers, chatters and shouts. I like Sober45’s tip, “Distract distract distract”. Just get through the minute, hour, day in any way possible!
. The AV doesn’t like SR, so stay close. Post as you feel like, but especially post when you feel you may be in trouble. Hang in there. 🤗
That AV is brutal, isn’t it? It whispers, chatters and shouts. I like Sober45’s tip, “Distract distract distract”. Just get through the minute, hour, day in any way possible!
. The AV doesn’t like SR, so stay close. Post as you feel like, but especially post when you feel you may be in trouble. Hang in there. 🤗
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 440
Originally Posted by Rar
Hi Polaroid. How are you feeling today?
That AV is brutal, isn’t it? It whispers, chatters and shouts. I like Sober45’s tip, “Distract distract distract”. Just get through the minute, hour, day in any way possible!
. The AV doesn’t like SR, so stay close. Post as you feel like, but especially post when you feel you may be in trouble. Hang in there. 🤗
That AV is brutal, isn’t it? It whispers, chatters and shouts. I like Sober45’s tip, “Distract distract distract”. Just get through the minute, hour, day in any way possible!
. The AV doesn’t like SR, so stay close. Post as you feel like, but especially post when you feel you may be in trouble. Hang in there. 🤗
... but I always knows how it ends, I eventually get so weak mentally weak, I need to check in for an acute detox, or rehab (in my country rehab is free, but alcohol is really expensive, except for, well... what's everywhere now... hand sanitizer)
So I say f- off AV, you don't f-ing control me... excuse the language.
... the longer I stay sober, the stronger I feel, and that's when the AV really kicks in - "come on, you've been good, have one" - blah blah blah
However, that's how it always, always starts.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 525
My recovery is rooted in Alcoholic Anonymous, so -- FWIW -- that informs my perspective on these issues.
Your post made me think of the following quote from the Big Book:
At a certain point in the drinking of every alcoholic, he passes into a state where the most powerful desire to stop drinking is of absolutely no avail. This tragic situation has already arrived in practically every case long before it is suspected. The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink. The almost certain consequences that follow taking even a glass of beer do not crowd into the mind to deter us. If these thoughts occur, they are hazy and readily supplanted with the old threadbare idea that this time we shall handle ourselves like other people. There is a complete failure of the kind of defense that keeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove.
However, and as the Big Book also tells us, there is a solution. I have come to believe that there is a type of alcoholic who is hopeless but for A.A., and I am one of those alcoholics. PM me if you want to chat more about that.
Your post made me think of the following quote from the Big Book:
At a certain point in the drinking of every alcoholic, he passes into a state where the most powerful desire to stop drinking is of absolutely no avail. This tragic situation has already arrived in practically every case long before it is suspected. The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink. The almost certain consequences that follow taking even a glass of beer do not crowd into the mind to deter us. If these thoughts occur, they are hazy and readily supplanted with the old threadbare idea that this time we shall handle ourselves like other people. There is a complete failure of the kind of defense that keeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove.
However, and as the Big Book also tells us, there is a solution. I have come to believe that there is a type of alcoholic who is hopeless but for A.A., and I am one of those alcoholics. PM me if you want to chat more about that.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,822
If you find or realize a bug in programming that always leads to crashing the system, what do you do with it ?
This analogy isn’t meant to suggest you excise the bug per se , but that you identify the bug and not allow it any weight at all, partition it off , assign a null value to it .
Hearing the AV isn’t an obstacle to ending an addiction , it is actually a fundamental prerequisite, listening to it is to continue the addiction. Identify the ‘bug’ , recognize the contents as literally devoid of utility and ignore and dismiss It.
This analogy isn’t meant to suggest you excise the bug per se , but that you identify the bug and not allow it any weight at all, partition it off , assign a null value to it .
Hearing the AV isn’t an obstacle to ending an addiction , it is actually a fundamental prerequisite, listening to it is to continue the addiction. Identify the ‘bug’ , recognize the contents as literally devoid of utility and ignore and dismiss It.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 440
Originally Posted by dwtbd
If you find or realize a bug in programming that always leads to crashing the system, what do you do with it ?
This analogy isn’t meant to suggest you excise the bug per se , but that you identify the bug and not allow it any weight at all, partition it off , assign a null value to it .
Hearing the AV isn’t an obstacle to ending an addiction , it is actually a fundamental prerequisite, listening to it is to continue the addiction. Identify the ‘bug’ , recognize the contents as literally devoid of utility and ignore and dismiss It.
This analogy isn’t meant to suggest you excise the bug per se , but that you identify the bug and not allow it any weight at all, partition it off , assign a null value to it .
Hearing the AV isn’t an obstacle to ending an addiction , it is actually a fundamental prerequisite, listening to it is to continue the addiction. Identify the ‘bug’ , recognize the contents as literally devoid of utility and ignore and dismiss It.
I'm thinking of a program/app where you check your current feelings - ie. * Do you NEED alcohol, * Do you WANT alcohol, * How long have you been drinking, how much, how often etc.
The result of the questions would be some sort of algorithm that says how addicted you are, and if you may consider checking yourself in, or if you've been sober for a long time - some sort of 'keep it up' message'
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 440
Originally Posted by dustyfox
Polaroid - Being Stubborn could definitely work to your advantage!
When I feel my organs hurt, and am actually terrified of dying - is that what it takes to stop?
My therapist suggested I may be too addicted to the nurses at the hospital. Well, not exactly untrue, but of course, that was a joke.
Day 1.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 440
Originally Posted by Boondock
Congrats on 10 days !!!..Years ago when I had more trouble with my AV than I do this time around. Whenever it acted up I would just picture it as a drunkard, really unhealthy, filthy me. Real skinny, rotten teeth, bloated gut, permanent jaundice, liver spots, blood shot yellow eyes and long dirty finger nails all stained from nicotine....That used to help me it was like start drinking again and that's where your headed. lol
.... No, I want to stay as healthy as I can, even though I've been drinking for 10 years.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 440
I may also mention that what may have triggered the relapse, is that I have another addiction (gambling) - and when I lost almost a whole month's pay, that when I decided to not to give a bloody f-
That addiction has been going on since before I was even legally able to gamble.
That addiction has been going on since before I was even legally able to gamble.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Its going to take a lot of hard work to get out from under two or more addictions Polaroid - but you do it day by day situation by situation.
When I had no money I would say eff this stress too - and drink. Which meant even less money and more stress. remember times I then borrowed money for alcohol.
Better choices make for better outcomes all the way down the line. Think about each situation as it presents itself.
If we want change, I think we have to do better than effit.
D
When I had no money I would say eff this stress too - and drink. Which meant even less money and more stress. remember times I then borrowed money for alcohol.
Better choices make for better outcomes all the way down the line. Think about each situation as it presents itself.
If we want change, I think we have to do better than effit.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 440
Originally Posted by Dee74
Its going to take a lot of hard work to get out from under two or more addictions Polaroid - but you do it day by day situation by situation.
When I had no money I would say eff this stress too - and drink. Which meant even less money and more stress. remember times I then borrowed money for alcohol.
Better choices make for better outcomes all the way down the line. Think about each situation as it presents itself.
If we want change, I think we have to do better than effit.
D
When I had no money I would say eff this stress too - and drink. Which meant even less money and more stress. remember times I then borrowed money for alcohol.
Better choices make for better outcomes all the way down the line. Think about each situation as it presents itself.
If we want change, I think we have to do better than effit.
D
I'm supposed to visit a fellow rehab friend on Tuesday (she lives about 30 mins from here), and I need to stay sober until then, as she has the same problem, and I do not want to trigger her.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 440
Originally Posted by Dee74
I'm glad you're not going to starve Polaroid, but my real point is good choices create good outcomes, while bad choices create bad ones,
Time for some wholesale changes man...
D
Time for some wholesale changes man...
D
Alcohol calms me down - it really calms me down - but it also gets me nowhere.
So, visiting my friend on Tuesday, completely sober, will get me out of my comfort zone... I have no idea how it's going to go, but nothing can be worse than 10 years of alcoholism.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
As I'm sure you know, your anxiety may increase in the short term when you quit.
If you feel this visit might be unwise right now, its ok to postpone it.
If not, have an escape plan for visiting your friend, just in case its too much for you.
D
If you feel this visit might be unwise right now, its ok to postpone it.
If not, have an escape plan for visiting your friend, just in case its too much for you.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 440
Originally Posted by Dee74
As I'm sure you know, your anxiety may increase in the short term when you quit.
If you feel this visit might be unwise right now, its ok to postpone it.
If not, have an escape plan for visiting your friend, just in case its too much for you.
D
If you feel this visit might be unwise right now, its ok to postpone it.
If not, have an escape plan for visiting your friend, just in case its too much for you.
D
We've coincidentally been at the same rehab centers 4 times....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 440
Well, I was sober for about a week. Been through the usual hell, but guess what happened today?
I just feel so friggin' depressed and stuff when I get into that "crossover" from acute withdrawals to PAWS. I don't see any point in anything. I know a week is way too short, and I cannot believe that, while I like women, always has - I see them more as an inconvenience now when they come into my apartment. Just give me my meds and get the hell out, no need for small talk. No need to ask me how I am, I hate that question, I have no idea how to respond without just crashing the entire ambience, or whatever.
Besides, I said the pain in my back/chest is from blunt trauma. What if they misdiagnosed me? What if I actually have some kind of liver disease. I didn't think I'd see to be 38, but I did. But it still hurts. Anyways I have a session with a doctor tomorrow. While he's a nice guy, I have absolutely no clue how to get him to understand...
WHY, AV? SHUT THE **** UP. Excuse the language.
Summary (or TLDR): I bought alcohol today. After a week sober. And I drank it.
I just feel so friggin' depressed and stuff when I get into that "crossover" from acute withdrawals to PAWS. I don't see any point in anything. I know a week is way too short, and I cannot believe that, while I like women, always has - I see them more as an inconvenience now when they come into my apartment. Just give me my meds and get the hell out, no need for small talk. No need to ask me how I am, I hate that question, I have no idea how to respond without just crashing the entire ambience, or whatever.
Besides, I said the pain in my back/chest is from blunt trauma. What if they misdiagnosed me? What if I actually have some kind of liver disease. I didn't think I'd see to be 38, but I did. But it still hurts. Anyways I have a session with a doctor tomorrow. While he's a nice guy, I have absolutely no clue how to get him to understand...
WHY, AV? SHUT THE **** UP. Excuse the language.
Summary (or TLDR): I bought alcohol today. After a week sober. And I drank it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: The Midwest
Posts: 649
There is a lot of great advice here.
I can tell you the AV gets a hell of a lot quieter over time. Early on, somehow externalizing it (almost as you’re observing the craving/planning/tempting voice as a neural 3rd party) can really help. You can beat it.
I can tell you the AV gets a hell of a lot quieter over time. Early on, somehow externalizing it (almost as you’re observing the craving/planning/tempting voice as a neural 3rd party) can really help. You can beat it.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
