I want to save myself before it is to late.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2021
Location: U.S.
Posts: 95
Thank you so much everyone for your support and thoughts, it really means so much to me, it really makes me feel good inside to read all your posts. Thank you again.
I slept pretty good last night, I think because I was just so exhausted and worn out from all of this, it took me awhile today to get myself moving. I did head out of the house early afternoon so I would be gone during the happy hour, and I got a lot of errands finished. My anxiety level and patience was on edge though, I got flustered when I thought they over charged me, and found out I was wrong to begin with, and I got a little short tempered with someone else. So I am a bit overly stimulated right now, it is a good thing I did sleep last night, I am still bouncing off the walls. It was nice to be out driving in the early evening and to be a sober person enjoying it. Normally I would have had a few in me by then.
I will be starting day 3 in the morning, see, that wasn't so bad! I am laughing now, but who knows what personality will come out tomorrow. I do remember it being a roller coast ride, that itself was another reason to drink, thinking it would settle me. I have to stay aware of this.
I slept pretty good last night, I think because I was just so exhausted and worn out from all of this, it took me awhile today to get myself moving. I did head out of the house early afternoon so I would be gone during the happy hour, and I got a lot of errands finished. My anxiety level and patience was on edge though, I got flustered when I thought they over charged me, and found out I was wrong to begin with, and I got a little short tempered with someone else. So I am a bit overly stimulated right now, it is a good thing I did sleep last night, I am still bouncing off the walls. It was nice to be out driving in the early evening and to be a sober person enjoying it. Normally I would have had a few in me by then.
I will be starting day 3 in the morning, see, that wasn't so bad! I am laughing now, but who knows what personality will come out tomorrow. I do remember it being a roller coast ride, that itself was another reason to drink, thinking it would settle me. I have to stay aware of this.
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Join Date: May 2021
Location: Upper Chichester, Pennsylvania
Posts: 121
Hi Tackle
I enjoyed so much reading your post but I also felt worried for you at the same time and the reason is that I am a woman of advanced years and the physical toll that alcohol has taken on my body is so painful.
I want to encourage you to post here as often and as copiously as you need to in order to help yourself to quit drinking.
Having a husband who continues to drink and having that alcohol in the house is a tough one. I hope you can find strategies to avoid it like the ones you mention of walking and shopping, etc. Maybe if you come home tired enough you won’t really want to drink, you’ll just want to watch tv or play on your computer. If there are chatsites for recovering alcoholics that would be a good thing to engage in while your husband is drinking in the evening.
I want to encourage you to post here as often and as copiously as you need to in order to help yourself to quit drinking.
Having a husband who continues to drink and having that alcohol in the house is a tough one. I hope you can find strategies to avoid it like the ones you mention of walking and shopping, etc. Maybe if you come home tired enough you won’t really want to drink, you’ll just want to watch tv or play on your computer. If there are chatsites for recovering alcoholics that would be a good thing to engage in while your husband is drinking in the evening.
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Join Date: May 2021
Location: England
Posts: 1,848
Really great to read your post Fealthefear - I recommend reading threads here about ways in which people stay sober, I personally found huge benefit in doing this. You must have a fierce resolve to stop and be prepared for that addictive voice within you which will try and fool you into believing that to drink will be an answer to life's difficulties as they crop up,( which they will of course ) but just tell it, that you are fed up with that old lie and drinking alcohol NEVER solved anything. We know that is a fact.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Welcome to SR @TackleTheFear! I'm glad you found us here. You'll find a lot of support and understanding from folks who've been where you are now. You can do this!
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Join Date: Jun 2021
Location: U.S.
Posts: 95
I posted around the forum earlier and got out my thoughts, but didn't post here. I spent the whole day cleaning up the yard, it is pickup day tomorrow and it feels good to be productive.
I was hoping to bbq dinner, but when the husband said he was going out for beer, I had to talk myself out of what was about to happen. I really told myself I didn't want any, and all the reasons why, and for the such short time I have right now I was determined enough to pull out some meat and vegetables and made myself some quick stir fry and was just serving myself up as he walked back in the door and filled the refrigerator to the brim with all kinds of beer, he said they were having a holiday special.
I was really strong with myself, I am not mad at him, I did mean it when I said I didn't want any, and I really didn't want any! but I knew I had to eat, nothing worse than being thirsty when a cold one passes by. I feel good now and my stomach is full and I Did Not Drink, and that is a great feeling right now.
I am really proud of myself right now, I have to repeat that, I will sleep good, feel good, my body will feel good, and most importantly in my own eyes I feel proud of myself.
I was hoping to bbq dinner, but when the husband said he was going out for beer, I had to talk myself out of what was about to happen. I really told myself I didn't want any, and all the reasons why, and for the such short time I have right now I was determined enough to pull out some meat and vegetables and made myself some quick stir fry and was just serving myself up as he walked back in the door and filled the refrigerator to the brim with all kinds of beer, he said they were having a holiday special.
I was really strong with myself, I am not mad at him, I did mean it when I said I didn't want any, and I really didn't want any! but I knew I had to eat, nothing worse than being thirsty when a cold one passes by. I feel good now and my stomach is full and I Did Not Drink, and that is a great feeling right now.
I am really proud of myself right now, I have to repeat that, I will sleep good, feel good, my body will feel good, and most importantly in my own eyes I feel proud of myself.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
That is a huge win! You may want to have a conversation with your husband about bringing beer into the house for a bit. Maybe he can keep his beer in a different fridge, even if that means buying a little fridge and putting it somewhere. He may not choose to stop drinking, my husband didn't, but he can help by keeping alcohol away from you until you get some more sober time under you.
I hope the rest of today went well.
I hope the rest of today went well.
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,148
Welcome Tackle!
I agree with the 2nd fridge idea. It's one thing to watch him drink a beer but gonna make it harder than necessary looking at a fridge full every time you want to eat. Which by the way hunger is a trigger so you will be staring at a fridge full of beer while craving.
I wish you the best, stay strong
I agree with the 2nd fridge idea. It's one thing to watch him drink a beer but gonna make it harder than necessary looking at a fridge full every time you want to eat. Which by the way hunger is a trigger so you will be staring at a fridge full of beer while craving.
I wish you the best, stay strong
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Join Date: May 2021
Location: England
Posts: 1,848
That is awesome Tackle, a really hard situation, with lots of potential triggers and you did it -you have great inner strength! Feeling proud instead of shame is a fantastic feeling isn't it? Great post!
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Join Date: Jun 2021
Location: U.S.
Posts: 95
I can proudly say I have a solid one week today.
Reading back on all your responses was helpful for me today, as also drinking plenty of healthy NA drinks today to stay hydrated, food to keep full, posting on the forum and believing in myself today. I had a moment of I am cured with my one week, but it didn't last long, I beat it down.
I am keeping myself amused with my own things here at home, I found I didn't need to get out or away like I thought I did, my husbands drinking is actually helping me to stay sober. When we both drank, we both acted the same, but now, the difference in watching a drinker drink all night is amusing in some ways, disturbing in other ways, very educational, I could go on, but it is actually strengthening me. If that changes I'll change my way, but for now, I don't feel the need to remove myself. It is sad how alcohol changes a person.
I feel better, I have moments when my brain shuts down, but I just wait it out. I feel less puffy, eating better and certainly not sweating all the time. Sweating is a terrible part of being a drinker. I sleep pretty good.
Day one feels like it lasts forever, having a good solid week makes me motivated to make it two solid weeks, so I am going to keep staying sober, because it feels right and it feels good. I certainly do not want to have to start over, starting over I think is harder.
Reading back on all your responses was helpful for me today, as also drinking plenty of healthy NA drinks today to stay hydrated, food to keep full, posting on the forum and believing in myself today. I had a moment of I am cured with my one week, but it didn't last long, I beat it down.
I am keeping myself amused with my own things here at home, I found I didn't need to get out or away like I thought I did, my husbands drinking is actually helping me to stay sober. When we both drank, we both acted the same, but now, the difference in watching a drinker drink all night is amusing in some ways, disturbing in other ways, very educational, I could go on, but it is actually strengthening me. If that changes I'll change my way, but for now, I don't feel the need to remove myself. It is sad how alcohol changes a person.
I feel better, I have moments when my brain shuts down, but I just wait it out. I feel less puffy, eating better and certainly not sweating all the time. Sweating is a terrible part of being a drinker. I sleep pretty good.
Day one feels like it lasts forever, having a good solid week makes me motivated to make it two solid weeks, so I am going to keep staying sober, because it feels right and it feels good. I certainly do not want to have to start over, starting over I think is harder.
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