ThatWasTheOldMe

Normal drinkers have gotten drunk in the past and done stuff they regret too.
The difference is, they rarely drink to excess and they don't HAVE TO drink to excess every time they pick up a drink. They're capable of just having a couple beers.
So those situations are few and far between for them.

For you and me, however, those situations are every time we drink alcohol. It's really not worth it.
Recovery is such a better life.

Boondock

If I went to the store right now and bought a single Miller tall boy by the time I was 3/4 the way through it I would be making plans to get more.

ScottFromWI

Very true, I am glad I was finally able to accept that fact before alcohol took everything away from me.

DriGuy

We see how easy it is for normal drinkers, and go on to assume that normal drinking must be easy. That leads us to that never ending search for us to figure out how to do it.

dustyfox

In the past if I poured myself a glass of wine at 7pm and if I didn't know there were several more bottles in the house ( just in case) I would not enjoy that first glass of wine, I would be anxious until I had been out and bought a couple more. ( just in case)
If I was out somewhere socially and was offered a glass of wine, I would almost be depressed, because, I would say to myself 'what is the point in one glass of wine?'. I was definitely not a 'normal' drinker.

nez

In this alcoholic's world, normal exists only as a cycle on the washer.

Aellyce

Maybe some alcoholics would like to drink normally... I personally haven't fancied "normal drinking" (whatever it is) for 10+ years at least. Even in my youth (teens, 20s) when I drank quite rarely, I would typically do it in excess. Quite a few episodes of puking sick from drinking at parties, clubs etc. Most of my clearly alcoholic binge drinking pattern since my 30s has been similar, just more frequent and even higher quantities, to reach the level of intoxication I sought with the increased tolerance, and I gradually moved to doing it alone at home while going crazy on the internet. I never even feel tempted to drink now in normal social environments where people have a couple to enjoy themselves and become a bit loose. Also never fancy a drink or two out in the sun, or to relax after a busy day. I only want to drink to reach a massively altered state at home on my own, and each time I do it, it turns me into a monster I don't relate to almost at all when I sober up. Just did it a couple days ago and everyone can read the result in my recent posts, it was my worst drunk for many months. I also almost always feel awfully sick and depressed the day after. When I don't drink, even just a few days, I'm not even depressed or rarely very anxious, and don't think/feel/say/do much resembling the BS I do while drunk. It is truly amazing what's appealing in those drunken states and making a complete mess of myself, so that it goes on and on. It's addiction of course, seems like a form of masochism as well - it really appears that I drink to transform/destroy everything good about me, it's not some kind of self-medication (of discomfort I have sober) for me at all. I think my brain "likes" that complete chemical mess and the other consequences do not matter to my normal consciousness and sense of self. I personally don't see an iota of normal desire in this.

Nonsensical

My wife and daughter will sometimes have a glass of wine with dinner.
That's all they drink that night.
Sometimes they don't even finish the whole glass.
They'll just pour some down the sink.
It doesn't look 'normal' to me at all.
I'd rather be sober.

silentrun

I don't know if my relationship with alcohol has ever been normal as I did end up abusing it. I did notice some changed a long the way tho.
When I was younger any more than three drinks would make me sick. I would get dizzy and throw up. It wasnt pleasant. I avoided that. I did not like being drunk. I would have a drink and that amount would "hit the spot" and that's all I wanted. In the end the cravings would start in earnest as soon as I started in that first drink. Then more I drank the more I wanted. I had to start limiting how much was in the house when I started because whatever I had was going to be gone.


At the beginning alcohol has its time and place. It was for social situations only. It was more of a prop than anything. At the end I was getting drunk on my couch by myself. I didn't want anyone to see me that way.


At the beginning I wouldn't drink because I had stuff I would rather be doing. If I drank I couldn't go for a run or run errands. Toward the end I would hurry up and rush through everything so I could carve out time to drink. I was pretty close to saying f it and just drinking. Who cares about anything else?

I never had a blackout before age 35. Not one. Toward the end I was blacking out regularly.

brighterday1234

Too true!!

Hodd

I have good friends who will go to the pub at midday and drink for ten hours. We’re talking 15 large beers. I can’t in any way defend that. The amount of strain that must put on the heart and other organs is extreme.

But after that, they might not drink at all for two or three months, or if they do, it’s just one or two.

The big difference with me was I drank every single day and had become dependent.

My friends are problem drinkers, but I wouldn’t class them as dependent.

least

I knew I was in trouble when I started drinking a glass (or two or three) of wine in the morning to stop the shakes and awful anxiety.

I was never a normal drinker, always drank to get drunk. So glad I don't do that anymore.

Scd619x

I'm not sure what a normal drinker is? If it is someone who can drink a couple of drinks and say no more whenever they like then normal drinkers consumption would range from one drink a year at xmas to 100 plus units a week. I guess you have hit the nail on the head though. A very heavy drinker will stop drinking if there is a good enough reason, someone who is an alcoholic or problem drinker cannot.

FlyAgain

My drinking was perfectly normal in parts. I would have a nice pleasant few drinks by the river at a pub in the early evening. Perfectly normal.

Except I would have had 8 beers from waking up until getting there, have the normal drinks, then go home and drink until I passed out. Wake up then repeat. Every day.

whenever I see people having “normal” drinks and get a slight pang of - oh that looks tempting - I remind myself of this, and what I’d have to suffer just to have those “normal” drinks.

then I chuckle at the madness and have a cup of tea 😀

LoveDD

I’m going to be honest and say I’m at a point in my sobriety where is still WISH I could be a normal drinker. Ya know enjoy a glass of wine at a bridal shower or have a margarita when out for dinner. But I also KNOW at this point it is actually impossible for me. I hope this “wishing” or FOMO fades as I get further into my sobriety. I’m currently at 6 months

Boondock

Congrats on 6 months, I'm at the point now I don't even bother with wishes because I know for a fact like I was saying above. If I had one glass of wine or one beer the next thing I'd know it would be 3:30am and I'd be crap-faced and half way through a bottle of vodka. It's quite phenomenal the power of the desire for more is once I'm under the influence.

Hodd

Well done on six months.

We all wish we could have been normal drinkers, but at some point in the past we overdid it abs crossed the line into dependence. This is my worry when younger colleagues talk about drinking a lot. They’re young; this is the UK so they’re going to do that, but it’s not obvious at that age that dependence may become a risk.

I did ask a female colleague how much they’d drink at an event. They’d had 3 large beers in an evening. For a weekend, that’s not particularly bad. At that age, I’d have had 6 or 7 and later years maybe 9!

anxiousrock

Absolutely! I do know "normal" drinkers that drink more than me, and more often. But I guess the difference is that they don't feel they have to? It's not a habit? Or, they just don't care?

Hodd

When I spoke to my GP about my drinking, I was very honest about the quantities. Doctors must get so frustrated with not only lies but also vague figures. The biggest concern of my GP, though, was that I drank every day. For me, that’s the best definition of dependent.

DriGuy

Normal drinking is not a well defined concept, and what that is probably varies for everyone. I have a picture of what that looks like in my own mind, but I don't have a clue what it feels like to a normal drinker to drink normally. But one of the alcoholics' biggest areas of focus is often the concept of normal drinking and how to get there. It may be that an actual normal drinker is defined as the guy who never gives normal a thought. I don't know. There are probably wet brained alcoholics that don't give the concept of normal drinking a second thought either, so I guess it's like trying to understand quantum physics. Somethings will always be beyond our understanding.

On the bright side, I know what giving up and accepting never having a drink again is like. And I know how good that is. And I know that 25 years ago the idea of doing that was a repugnant mystery. So there's one thing I did come to understand that was once beyond my understanding.