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Honesty

Old 06-10-2021, 12:24 AM
  # 61 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Boondock View Post
It is perplexing I think of myself as a well rounded intelligent person with talents but when it comes to alcohol I'm a complete buffoon!!! A total numbskull !!! LOL .....
Yeah I can totally relate to that.

That massive cringe feeling in the morning ("what did I do or say again? Too scared to look at phone etc) is a killer.....LOL
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Old 06-10-2021, 11:22 AM
  # 62 (permalink)  
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That is indeed a more honest form of honesty, especially compared to the person who is cavalier about their drinking. But I guess even the cavalier person is on a path of sorts which may eventually lead to sobriety. It’s just that they’re not able to take things seriously at the point they’re at emotionally.

Then there’s the danger that somone who’s posting flippantly about drinking will act as a trigger to people who’re trying to stop.

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Old 06-10-2021, 11:31 AM
  # 63 (permalink)  
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Aellyce,

Don't let one guy stand for this place.

I can only speak for myself, but I really truly hand on heart, only want to help, and through doing so, I am helped. Not by asking usually, its just the nature of this place.

If you want, you or anyone else can manipulate me easily because I am a what you see is what you get kind of gal. I am not out there looking for subtle hints that maybe someone is secretly doing stuff. Maybe I should do that more, but its not my speed. If I see it, I will raise my hand, probably by PM because I don't want to embarass anyone. But usually I miss it.

Which is why its so great that there are are so many people here each giving their little piece to try and help a bunch of strangers and ourselves be a bit better. Maybe, On a good day.

Peace and love.
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Old 06-10-2021, 11:35 AM
  # 64 (permalink)  
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To me, acknowledging that one is actively drinking isn't being dishonest. It might be a lot of things, but dishonest isn't one of them. But that's just like, my opinion, man.
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Old 06-10-2021, 06:37 PM
  # 65 (permalink)  
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I never had a chance at starting any kind of sober life until I found SR and spilled my guts out about things like all the drunk driving.

Never had a chance at maintaining a sober life without beginning to sort through the issues, like the negativity that you encounter constantly.

Drinking was based on lies. It was necessary to get through the day. It helped deal with the stress. It was part of being an adult in the modern world. It helped me fit in. It made a fishing trip or vacation more fun. I was capable of managing it, next time. All lies.

Recovery to this point would never have been possible without the honesty.

I sometimes sense that people here haven't really come to grips with the situation. Perhaps they can't quite bring themselves to let go. Maybe there is still some hope that they can manage it and go through life as a "normy".
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Old 07-29-2023, 06:08 PM
  # 66 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by D
Honesty's important. Its fundamental.
I couldn't get sober until I was honest with myself and stopped lying to everyone else.

but - 'I'm drinking but hey at least I'm being honest right?' ....is that a really 'honest honesty' or is it honesty as fuel for further addiction?


Lying A and B

A. Stop lying to yourself about being an active addict.
B. Lying to everybody else.

Example C
"I'm drunk and at the very least I'm honest about it"

C1. As an admission of fact yes.
C2. As a denial tactic?
C.3 As an aid to falsely (ego?) believe ("I at least I'm honest") in all my (A) affairs?

I think believing that I can drink and feel good in the fact "at least I'm honest about it" may not help. It may help me see there is some small upside to continuing to drink. Like kudos honest drunk good step forwards?

Hey, I'm no lopp lying drunk, I have a streak of honesty in my drinking. If I feel good about this then it is misleading maybe in a self-deceptive way. Denial promoting in a way.

Just the two statements of drink and honesty together feel someway wrong to me.

I can be entirely wrong

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Old 07-29-2023, 07:59 PM
  # 67 (permalink)  
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When I'm honest with myself, I can be honest with others
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Old 07-30-2023, 05:03 PM
  # 68 (permalink)  
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This was a great read- honesty was one of the most important things I gained on this trip. I'm always careful to not call people out too harshly- did that once and regret it still- when they are drinking and telling everyone- but Dee's OP makes a good point- isn't calling people out part of our role when we have the collective experience to know what it leads to? At any rate, I got a lot out of reading through these posts and some of the old posters are absent and I miss them. I guess that's beside the point, though. I hope they are out there living a happy, sober life.
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Old 07-31-2023, 05:01 AM
  # 69 (permalink)  
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You can be honest about your drinking problem, but that doesn't solve a drinking problem. It's true that admitting it is a start, but the solution is way beyond that.
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Old 07-31-2023, 05:30 AM
  # 70 (permalink)  
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I agree with driguy

I Knew I had a problem for decades.
I just accepted it as my fate. Until I finally got tired of that life and figured I'd give sobriety a try.
Best thing I ever did.

It is true though that many are in denial of their problem and need to be honest about needing to quit before they can even begin recovery.
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Old 07-31-2023, 07:24 AM
  # 71 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by fishkiller View Post
I Knew I had a problem for decades.
I just accepted it as my fate. Until I finally got tired of that life and figured I'd give sobriety a try.
Best thing I ever did.
Same here. Drugging became a fact of my life very early on in my addiction. Part of the daily routine. Same with the problems that also come with drinking, just another part of the game. At the time my entire life philosophy was "F-it I could care less".

My daily comorbid wellness treatments include building more promising self-worth. Active addiction is the killer of self-love that also inhibit any love I can give to my family and friends. Harmful substances are now not included in my life. Drugs effectively kill hope and love.
Rehabilitation from addiction has some nice rewards. I count my blessings often.
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Old 07-31-2023, 08:18 AM
  # 72 (permalink)  
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^^ It’s not easy, though, fish. At school, at work, etc., we’re fed the line to believe in ourselves and all that garbage. It takes a lot for a drinker to realise they’ve been beaten by alcohol and have no control. Our egos get in the way. It was only when I realised my life was s*** did I become humble enough to realise I had a problem and ‘fessed up to my GP.
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