livingintegrity

Day 42 contemplations - So I've been interviewing on and off for the past year or so. I mentioned before that I had a very successful great career, was paid a lot of money, travelled every week, including internationally and was miserable. I was diving deeper into my addiction and ended up really not caring about anything including my job and myself. I was put on a performance plan, failed to complete it and asked to look for other employment, either inside our outside the company. It was also in the midst of my venture into entrepreneurship (I know call me crazy) where I invested in a franchise which quickly failed. and I left myself with nothing, so I thought. I spent a few years, a couple of failed attempts at getting back into the career track, but I hated every role and they were short lived. I did some high paying contract work and fortunately I had enough invested and my husband still earned enough to cover our expenses. We'd always lived below our means thank goodness. I had signed a new high paying contract in January of 2020, I was still drinking but thought I had it under control. I was excited as this contract took me back to what I actually enjoyed doing, running large programs for clients. Then covid19 hit and contracts/projects were put on hold. My father in law passed away that May and we spent the summer (I was sober) helping my mother in law prepare for life without her husband of over 60 years. I'm not sure what happened, not that anything specific ever needed to happen, but I started drinking again and it started to escalate. I am regularly approached via LinkedIn for jobs due to my specific skillset, education and experience, all key buzz words and highly desired in the industry. I regularly would pursue these roles, but most of the time I was buzzed or worse. I would chalk it up to anxiety and taking the edge off. Some interviews I don't even remember half the questions or the conversation. I'm in general a really good interviewee because I do my homework, prepare and ask specific pointed questions, but buzzed or drunk how could I be that great? Well, during this stint in sobriety I was once again approached for a role, this one is a great opportunity, exactly what I want including a little bit of travel, client engagement, program management etc... I've been interviewing 100% completely sober!! I've had the most amazing conversations with people I eventually would be peers or colleagues. I almost laughed the other day as I realized I could actually pass my own DRUG screening if it's required! (I only did Marijuana which is legal where I live but some employers still consider it a fail). I hate to admit it, but I used someone else's and considered using lab created urine to pass the one and only other drug screen in the past. I was clean, but THC stays in your system and after 4 weeks it was still showing on an at home test. Anyway, I'm excited to see if I can land this opportunity 100% sober, that alone will prove to me that I really don't need to curb my anxiety in times of stress, I can breathe and make it through. If I don't land the offer, I'll still be proud, but cherry on top of the sundae is the offer....I have the SVP round this week, wish me luck!

Anna

Good luck this week Livingintegrity. I'm glad you feel confident and strong and that you can clearly see the benefits of being sober.

Dee74

I’m excited for you too - good luck livingintegrity

D

Steely

Great stuff livingintegrity.

I rather do interview sober, ever if completely tongue tied, than do one buzzed. I've done them buzzed.

After enough tongue tied interviews I got the hang, and got the job.