Zebra1275

Welcome to SR!

I think some daily face to face support would be helpful. Get yourself to an AA meeting today.

And when you get there, talk, tell them what you have told us.

Surrendered19

Hi Gerry. I was you 18 months ago. 54 when I quit, hard hard drinker for 30 years, the last 10 years total insanity. I nearly lost everything. All I can tell you my friend is that the feelings of hopelessness and despair are not the real you talking. That is the alcohol doing the talking. The real you is still in there. Can you use this day to get sober? I HATED the trite phrase "one day at a time", but man, it is the honest truth. At first it might be 15 minutes at a time. But that is how you beat this. Just make a plan for each hour of each day at first, write it down, and stick to it. An agenda.

I hope you keep posting and let us know how things are going.

biminiblue

Welcome Gerry. You've already gotten posts from a lot of people who made the life-changing Decision to stop drinking.


It's just that. A decision that I back up every day with multiple other decisions. I kept saying to myself, "I Don't Drink. No Matter What."

You can do it too.

I hope you make this your Day One off alcohol.

Lay your head on the pillow sober tonight. It's a great feeling.

Reid82

Welcome to SR, Gerry. You'll have great support here, it won't be easy at the start but will be well worth it in the finish up! Best of luck.

enaiddes

I felt worried when I read your post and I truly hope you will find the strength to stop drinking. We all have damaged lives and relationships due to drinking. My past is a mess. But even so when I got sober I gradually felt better and better and can truly say that today is full of happiness for me.

courage2

Gerry, you can quit drinking and regain a life you want to lead.
Stick around and post a lot, and just for today, *don't drink.*

Hodd

Me too. In fact, it scared me at first as I thought it meant every evening for the remainder of my life would feature the anxiety, boredom and craving of someone who’d just stopped drinking. Someone who’s just quit needs to be planning more than a day ahead. There should be a few activities thrown in to take the mind off the withdrawal phase.

I’d prefer “take it one week at a time”. A week is a long time in sobriety (cheesy cliche alert), but the changes from week to week are phenomenal.

Good to see a whole load of success stories from us late forties/early fifties gang. It can be turned around in a matter of months.

kittencat

Please keep posting, trying.. Theodore Roosevelt
Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910

KidsEverywhere

I was you three years ago- heavy drinker for years. Eaten up with anxiety, worry, and people not happy with me (including kids).
I quit- spent a week in detox and a month in rehab. By far hands down the best decision I have ever made. The AA program I work helped me get sober- now it has taught me how to live. I have no anxiety, I feel and look good. You just gotta do it- your life will unfold in a GOOD way!

Gottalife

This is sound advice assuming you want to stop for good and have been unable to do so. An AA meeting was the last place I wanted to go. I am not exactly sure why except to say I was full of fear about the whole idea. What I did to get around that was to call AA and arrange to see a recovered alcoholic one on one. I spent a sunday afternoon with such a person and made tremendous progress. I got answers to all my questions and left there knowing what my problem was exactly, what the AA solution was, and I had a new friend to help me on my way. Best afternoon I ever invested. As a result I was able to stop for good, something I had thought would be impossible, based on my experience up to that day. Moreover, my life changed from a living hell to almost heaven on earth.

anxiousrock

Hey gerry, glad you're here! Lots of us have been where you are and for me, the only way to do it is take it a day at a time. I wake up and just worry about making it 24hrs. Or, depending on the day, just making it an hour at a time, and focus on that. I'm not perfect, I struggle, but I only have to make it an hour sober. Then I do that again.

2muchpain

Your family is not gone. It sounds like they are keeping a safe distance until you get a hold of your addiction and become your old self. Your family is there and always will be. If you want them back in your life, you need to make difficulty decisions and do the hard work to become who you were. John

novips

Alcohol and drugs took me to the place where the thought of killing myself was comforting. They took me there more than once. Thankfully, I found my solution in Alcoholics Anonymous. Accordingly, my perspective is A.A.-centered.

Some relevant Big Book quotes:

• There are many situations which arise out of the phenomenon of craving [alcohol] which cause men to make the supreme sacrifice rather than continue to fight.
• He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end.
• [T]o continue continue as he is means disaster, especially if he is an alcoholic of the hopeless variety. To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives to face.

Bottom line:

There is a solution. Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. But we saw that it really worked in others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it. When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet. We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed.

Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more.

Chris2

Yeah my experience the same.

I gave up and strong as for 3 weeks and my mood massively decreased to the point I couldn't cope. Back to suicidal.

It's ridiculous as Sober apparently feels great. It doesn't for me.

It was great for a week then never felt worse.

Complete nightmare.

Dee74

Hi Chris

Alcohol is not going to help you, man. You did well because you were not only sober, were in hospital and being treated.

You’ve said before you can afford rehab - now seems to me to be a great time to go, especially if you can find one with a dual diagnosis focus that will help you not only with your alcoholism, but also your mental health.

D

Disser

Get help for other issues you have in your life apart from alcohol. Your angry, your like me, Iv got 13 scars on my hand from punching a window and a scar on my head for head butting a door. After all this time of drinking it’s still not to late for you, you can either let alcohol kill you or you can make amends to your self and show your family that they mean something to you by stopping drinking. I know after all those years youv been doing it’s easier said than done and it’s ******* hard. But once you have a purpose to stop drinking and make it a passion then use that for drive to stop drinking

Scd619x

Odds are that at the amount you are drinking you will live to a good old age so I really hope you find some way to get help. There are a tonne of people in AA with additional issues beyond alcohol, especially anger so that might be worth a go. You would also be able to get the support i think you are looking for in real life. If possible i would speak to a doctor to see what options there are for you in regards to mental health, if you can address the issues that have made you drink since 15 years of age from the start you will find recovery a hell of a lot easier, trust me i've tried both ways. Stick around here though, keep posting.

jhonnyspa

Hi Gerry,
You can end the nightmare by putting down the bottle,Seek medical, spiritual help. Do what ever it takes.Think about it do you want to lose more?
Good luck you can do this and get your family back.

TroubleAfoot

How are you doing Gerry? It's been a week since you posted this and we haven't heard from you. I also noticed this post is your first thread on the day you joined. Come back. People intimately know what you are going through. There is a massive amount of support here. Please come back and join us on this difficult journey. You absolutely can do this.

Boondock

Well, I hope Gerry's alright...rock bottom isn't easy.