tdshawn647

Hello,
I'm new to this site. I had a vicious relapse 10 days ago. This has been my pattern now for a few years. At one point I had 12 years sobriety. I was highly involved in AA. The program works. My ego took me away from AA. I have a good career, good family, etc. My relapses and behavior when relapsed put it all in jeopardy.(Again) Once I put any Alcohol or mind altering drug in my body I lose all control. I just read "There is a solution" in the AA big book. Describes me well. One one hand it is absolutely terrifying. On the other hand it gives me hope. Can anyone else relate to the chapter?

Dee74

Hi td

I'm not 'in' AA but I can see how thinking about your future and change might be overwhelming. The thing is you have been sober before and you know that AA works for you. You also know what brings you back to drinking.

You are in a good place to make this recovery journey a lasting one

D

Libby06

Yes, and I related to it about 100 times better after my relapse. I clearly could see where I had missed a few things, or picked and chose what I felt applied to me. Silly girl I am....it all relates to me. I'm a real alcoholic, thats for sure.

I'm glad you made it back to Shawn. It's a cautionary tale about what happens to us when we rest on our laurels. Alcohol is a subtle foe, there is no doubt. Cunning, baffling and powerful.

Surrendered19

Hi Shawn. I am somewhat new to sobriety and SR has been a big part of my health and recovery. Welcome and I hope you stick around with your depth of experience that you have to offer. Please know that you with long term recovery, particularly you with such recovery who have gone back down the rabbit hole, really have so much to teach the rest of us. I have been sober 18 months but I always fear what hell awaits me if I drink again. I feel good about my recovery and am grateful every day, but our world is littered with folks with long term sober time who go back out. Anyway, please stay here and tell us what you know and what we need to know.

RecklessDrunk

I would be surprised if anyone here reads it and doesn't relate to it.

I didn't wake up in the mornings and look for a stashed liquor bottle. In fact I didn't even drink a lot of a shots in the end. I liked to drink strong craft beer on a light stomach. Before AA I remember so many times before I ever even heard of the big book. I would be just absolutely puzzled. How can I drink and not end up driving drunk, spending money I shouldn't, and go to dangerous areas to get crack cocaine? Maybe if I drink on a fuller stomach. Then I don't get enough of a buzz and drink something stronger and go full psycho. How bout a lighter stomach, then its like direct injection of alcohol into my blood and once again out of control. How about no more beers with a double digit alcohol content, no more this beer style, no more that brand.

I have had an obsession with alcohol since I was 14 years old. Some people love alcohol so much that they can't stop for a day. I loved alcohol so much that I could. Whatever i had to do to keep alcohol in my life! I could go through the work week MOST of the time. Sometimes the obsession would get me but most of the time I did what I had to do. Work, school, gym, I showed up and paid my bills. Just enough to hold my life up enough so that I could keep drinking. I did not see how a life without alcohol was possible. Some of us were daily drinkers and some of us were more binge, every few days or weekend drinkers. Some of were functioning, even some daily drinkers could be functioning. The disease effects us all a little bit differently. What we all have in common is the allergy and the obsession.

For the functioning, binge drinker it can be easy to say I'm not that bad. I still have X, Y, & Z, whatever we haven't lost YET. Its the same disease but some of us hide it really good, even from ourselves, with jobs, families, possessions etc.

brighterday1234

Yeah it hits the nail on the head does that chapter. There is a solution to alcohol indeed. You know what needs to be done it’s time to put it ‘into action’ 🙏

Scd619x

Yep read it 100s of times. Like you i was in AA for a long while, did all the steps, sponsor etc. Lasted for a number of years but in the end wasn't enough. Having done all what had been suggested and still gone back out it took more than AA for me to get sober this time round, but that was for me. I have met a couple of people who have been sober in AA for a decade, gone back out and now have been back multiple years so it is doable. It very much depends what drinker you were as it is not a one stop shop for everyone but i would definitely advocate it for the real alcoholic as you can definitely lose everything if you are drinking 24/7 and dependent on alcohol.

D122y

Thanks for the post.

It strengthens the knowledge that the addiction is for life.

Some folks unknowingly get in more trouble than others.

I pray that once addicts are able to understand the science behind the addiction they are prepared to remain sober forever and enjoy normal mental happiness.

Humans are playful animals. We tend towards having a laugh. Booze alters that. It took the better part of 4 years or so to really see that return in me.

I am not giving this up for a euphoric episode followed by hours to years of suffering again. No way.

Thanks.

AlbaSober

Can you offer a link to it?

RecklessDrunk

https://www.aa.org/pages/en_us/alcoholics-anonymous
Linked by permission of AA World Services Inc.

Scroll down a little bit to chapters, its chapter 2. Or any search of "AA big book chapter 2" should lead you to an available copy of the text you can view for free.