TheAten

Hey everyone. Just a check in on day 7. Feeling really great and very positive today. I’m so glad I went for the meal last night; I will admit that I was nervous beforehand, and when I walked through my city at around 7pm, it was still warm and sunny and people were outside bars and restaurants eating and mostly drinking. That made me put my guard up a lot, but once I was into chatting with my friend and ordering food, I started to relax. It was a lovely evening, and I can honestly say I wouldn’t have enjoyed it more had I been drinking. My friend had two beers and a glass of wine and said “aww come on, just one”. I said, firmly but politely, with a smile on my face “I don’t drink anymore” and that was that. I know everyday won’t be a good day, but today is good, and I feel stronger and more confident in my resolve to stop drinking for good. I’ve had many days of doom and gloom so I thought I’d share a happy experience. Hope you’re all well, and thank you to everyone who reads, responds, or just acknowledges I’m here. Means a lot.

Anna

I'm glad you enjoyed your evening.

FiveTries

Nice, that sounds great TheAten.
I am hoping to pull off the same tonight.

advbike

Great job, TheAten! That's really fantastic.

tdshawn647

Don't have the 1st drink. I'm back from a relapse as well.

Dee74

Congrats on your week TheAten
If I may offer some advice - resist the urge to test yourself too much too soon - it's ok to go gently for a little while in a social sense til you develop 'sober muscles'

D

Hodd

Hi Aten, let your friend have this one, but if they make that “just the one” comment again, you need to warn them. It does sound very risky, so as Dee says, don’t put yourself in harm’s way too much at this early stage. Personally, I was avoiding friends for the first few months.

Good news that you didn’t succumb, though. I walked through a UK city centre between 6 and 7pm yesterday, and the drinkers were ready to go. They all looked unhealthy and overweight to me. You’re better off away from it. I was up and about at six this morning whilst they’ll have had storming hangovers.

Be careful.

Gabe1980

Well done! 7 days is awesome!!

TheAten

I know what you’re saying, Hodd, and what Dee is saying, but I also have to remember that when I’ve tried to do this in the past, part of the reason I felt so bad was because I shut myself away from the world. It didn’t do me any good; I want to stop drinking, I don’t want to give up living. So I’m trying a different tack this time; it it doesn’t work, back to the drawing board. But I do need to learn to trust myself at some point and get on with living. I am not brushing aside your and Dee’s warning, it is noted and stored and very carefully considered, but I am not going to do the same things I’ve done before as clearly it didn’t work.

On a side note, I was in the park all day today, walking, observing, had an ice cream and went to the gym for the first time since reopening. I feel a million dollars now! God, I’ve missed the gym.

Hodd

👍

biminiblue

That sounds like an excellent day! Well done.

Now I want ice cream.

Dee74

Sure but its not like your only two choices are the pub or stay home

I went on picnics, went to the cinema,. Museums, Art Galleries,.Met friends in cafes, or non licensed restaurants....pursued hobbies and interests, volunteered my time to various things.

I wasn't sitting at home curtains drawn - but I wasn't sitting in a pub surrounded by drinkers either.

I wanted more out of life & you can't do that if your life stays the same.

D

TheAten

I was at a restaurant, Dee. I didn’t go to the pub. I didn’t go to the pub when I was drinking as I drank at home or at other peoples homes - I’m sure not going to start going to the pub now! Also, today I went to the park and to the gym. I’m doing good things for myself.

Steely

Well done, The Aten.

It's a great feeling to say No thanks without hesitation.

The afterglow is even better. You did it. Now for the ice cream. 🍦 🍦 🍦

Hodd

Sorry Aten, sounds like we’re ganging up on you 🙂 Sounds like you’re doing OK. I used to drink at home too, and it takes big changes. I’d slump in front of a computer with my beers, so that had to stop. I also went/go to the gym and that was a good substitute plus you realise how much exercise is needed to burn off one or two beers. Yikes!

Dee74

Okay I understand now that it was a restaurant that served alcohol and not a pub. I think my points still apply though - you can do stuff that doesn’t require alcohol for you or those wth you. You can start building a sober life you love right away,

I do understand that this was a victory for you. I also get that my journey need not be yours.
I wouldn’t make a song and dance about it unless I thought it was important tho

D

TheAten

I understand that and I appreciate it - after all, I don’t come here to be patted on the head and told “well done” all the time. I am listening to what you’re saying and it’s being taken on board. I will, however, also bare in mind that it is I with the alcohol problem, not those around me, and if I go out with friends, whether to a restaurant, park, art gallery etc and they choose to drink, I’m not going to ask them not to. Alcohol isn’t leaving the world anytime soon and until such a time I make more sober friends I’m not going to chase away the few I have left who I haven’t negatively affected with my drunken antics. As I said to Hodd, I have to learn to trust myself, and I’m going to trust myself; self doubt and defeatist attitudes haven’t helped in the past. That doesn’t mean I’m going to purposefully throw myself into the lions den, just that I’ll tackle each individual situation as it arises. My aim and desire is not to drink alcohol myself. I’ll keep that in mind, stay close to this wonderful resource and continue to post and check in and learn to build and navigate my life sans alcohol - and that includes learning how to handle situations where booze is a present (and this is Wales; believe me, there is booze literally everywhere! Unless I move to the remotest of mountains, I have to learn to co-exist with something I don’t want). I realise I may come across as defensive, but that isn’t the intention; I just want to be heard and for my thinking and position to be clear. I’d also like to reiterate that I appreciate all that you guys do to help me and others, and I do take on board everything that is said, and thank you for your support 🙂

Hodd

I’m sure it’s trickier in the UK than other countries. It is the norm to drink here, and as you say it’s everywhere. Take it easy 🙂

Dee74

Yeah I don't want to be a nuisance, so I'll just say go carefully and have a plan for that sudden thought that a drink is a great idea - even if you never use it.

continued best wishes to you TA .

D

Steely

Oops, did I say, "well done"?

Wouldn't have said it had I not thought so.

I might have avoided pics of ice cream cones tho.

Frivolous. Intention was good.