30 days home sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: TX
Posts: 137
30 days home sober
Well I'm 38 years old now. Been trying to quit for like 10 years. It looks like it might finally stick this time. Since I started drinking I don't think I have ever gone this long.
I'm just tried of it. Tired of dealing with PAWS, not being able to drive anywhere, worrying about liver disease. Still have nightmares that I started drinking again, but then I wake up, still sober.
Well, after 1 month, I am having problems with family. They think I am depressed so they are worried. The conversations they keep trying to have with me is just very stressful. After 1 month they think I am just going to snap out of it? Well, they aren't wrong, right now I just feel like everything is dull and unimpressive. I don't really want to do anything except stay on my computer.
I worked hard for the last 3 years and saved up a lot of money. So me not working isn't creating any financial trouble, bills are being paid no problem. I do need to return to work soon, probably. But I just want to make sure this thing is dealt with... at least the beginning parts of it.
This stuff is normal, I understand that. But how long did it take all of you to get to the point to where you could function? Its going on 1 month and I still just want to stay in my office and be left alone. "You have always been introverted, but never this bad," is what I keep hearing.
I'm just tried of it. Tired of dealing with PAWS, not being able to drive anywhere, worrying about liver disease. Still have nightmares that I started drinking again, but then I wake up, still sober.
Well, after 1 month, I am having problems with family. They think I am depressed so they are worried. The conversations they keep trying to have with me is just very stressful. After 1 month they think I am just going to snap out of it? Well, they aren't wrong, right now I just feel like everything is dull and unimpressive. I don't really want to do anything except stay on my computer.
I worked hard for the last 3 years and saved up a lot of money. So me not working isn't creating any financial trouble, bills are being paid no problem. I do need to return to work soon, probably. But I just want to make sure this thing is dealt with... at least the beginning parts of it.
This stuff is normal, I understand that. But how long did it take all of you to get to the point to where you could function? Its going on 1 month and I still just want to stay in my office and be left alone. "You have always been introverted, but never this bad," is what I keep hearing.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Congrats on the first of many sober months! 
Yes, it's a bumpy ride at first, for a while, but it will get better. Give yourself some more sober time and see how you feel then. Depression is common in early sobriety. Your body and brain are adjusting to functioning normally and it can be quite a shock to your systems. Stay sober and be good to yourself.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: TX
Posts: 137
Originally Posted by least 
Congrats on the first of many sober months! Yes, it's a bumpy ride at first, for a while, but it will get better. Give yourself some more sober time and see how you feel then. Depression is common in early sobriety. Your body and brain are adjusting to functioning normally and it can be quite a shock to your systems.Stay sober and be good to yourself.
At work, I tell people there is always an excuse to not save money. There's always a reason to put it off for a later time. But then 10 years goes by, and where are you at? Still with the same problems and no closer to your goals.
Well I can't lie to myself anymore and tell myself there is a reason to put off not drinking. Because 10 years will go by and I will be no closer to where I want to be. I just have to make this happen no matter what. It's not going to just fall into my lap without effort.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
I drank for another 15+ years after where you are now Garen. Trust me. I did the experiment. The results are devastating.
You are so wise to get this thing figured out in your 30's. And one month is an amazing accomplishment. Hard-won progress and so much healing has already taken place.
Do your people know that you are in recovery and need some patience and space? I would beg them to give you a few months in between observations about how you seem or how you are doing. It is a process that takes time. Our nag-headed heads are the one of the last things to even out.
You are so wise to get this thing figured out in your 30's. And one month is an amazing accomplishment. Hard-won progress and so much healing has already taken place.
Do your people know that you are in recovery and need some patience and space? I would beg them to give you a few months in between observations about how you seem or how you are doing. It is a process that takes time. Our nag-headed heads are the one of the last things to even out.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
congrats on a month Garen
tbh, it took me about 3 months to feel 'normal' again - but after drinking for 20 years I thought that was a pretty good deal.
If you're concerned about your isolation and depression, or those close to you are, maybe speaking with your GP could help?
D
tbh, it took me about 3 months to feel 'normal' again - but after drinking for 20 years I thought that was a pretty good deal.
If you're concerned about your isolation and depression, or those close to you are, maybe speaking with your GP could help?
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: TX
Posts: 137
Originally Posted by Dee74
congrats on a month Garen
tbh, it took me about 3 months to feel 'normal' again - but after drinking for 20 years I thought that was a pretty good deal.
If you're concerned about your isolation and depression, or those close to you are, maybe speaking with your GP could help?
D
tbh, it took me about 3 months to feel 'normal' again - but after drinking for 20 years I thought that was a pretty good deal.
If you're concerned about your isolation and depression, or those close to you are, maybe speaking with your GP could help?
D
It's a good deal, even if it takes a lot longer.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,408
Yeah it takes a good while for everything to ‘settle down’. Like Dee said checking in with the GP can be a wise idea if isolation becomes too serious. Recovery is so much more than simply not drinking. Doing recovery work such as that of the 12 steps in AA can really help with feelings of dis-ease 🙏
Member
Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 92
Hi Garen,
First of all, congratulations on 30 days home sober! Not at all easy to accomplish. No doubt that your feelings are affected by this massive change that you have courageously made. Recovery is so hard as you must relentlessly commit and then pursue that change...for the rest of your life. I’m sure if you check in with a doctor they will have specific suggestions for you. I would suggest deep, slow breathing exercises. Thinking positively and reminding yourself that the bad feelings are not forever. If you are a believer, then praying can be calming. I'm so sorry, I wish I could offer more helpful suggestions. Don't give up, don't give in. Big hugs! YOU CAN DO THIS! I wish you the best.
First of all, congratulations on 30 days home sober! Not at all easy to accomplish. No doubt that your feelings are affected by this massive change that you have courageously made. Recovery is so hard as you must relentlessly commit and then pursue that change...for the rest of your life. I’m sure if you check in with a doctor they will have specific suggestions for you. I would suggest deep, slow breathing exercises. Thinking positively and reminding yourself that the bad feelings are not forever. If you are a believer, then praying can be calming. I'm so sorry, I wish I could offer more helpful suggestions. Don't give up, don't give in. Big hugs! YOU CAN DO THIS! I wish you the best.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,921
Congratulations on 1 month!
38 is a great age to quit, I wish I had done that, I kept drinking for another decade. And the added years of drinking just made all of the negative aspects, worse.
You've been a member on this website since January of 2013 so I assume you recognized a problem several years ago. The Good News is you can fully recover and have a great life. The Bad News is that it takes time. Patience is tough. Things will continue to get better everyday and every month, but in my opinion to really feel solid in your recovery, it takes a year. I think you need to go through all of the yearly events in your life sober 1 time, events like Christmas, birthdays, family vacations, etc., to help build confidence.
38 is a great age to quit, I wish I had done that, I kept drinking for another decade. And the added years of drinking just made all of the negative aspects, worse.
You've been a member on this website since January of 2013 so I assume you recognized a problem several years ago. The Good News is you can fully recover and have a great life. The Bad News is that it takes time. Patience is tough. Things will continue to get better everyday and every month, but in my opinion to really feel solid in your recovery, it takes a year. I think you need to go through all of the yearly events in your life sober 1 time, events like Christmas, birthdays, family vacations, etc., to help build confidence.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Back in the USA
Posts: 2,661
Don’t give up Garen…Yes, Paws is annoying but it will get better…I had the same problems with paws for months but it does in fact get better so hang in there…Keep posting here to get the encouragement I received. You will feel better just be patient. 
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
People may find out you're not the person they thought you were. And, that's fine. You are sober and real right now and that's what matters. I didn't stop functioning, but it took a few months before I started feeling good.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: London
Posts: 333
Well my best year financially was in Spain drinking every night, my worst year was sober and not working at all! Figure that out!
It took me a while to figure out that the drinking was a form of self medication, so i felt flat and unimpressed most of the time but drinking or hungover meant that i didn't notice it so bad, that and my obsession with stopping drinking. When i removed all that i had a lot of time to feel what i was feeling of which alcohol was the solution. Along the way i learned that i had to change a lot about my life in order to stay sober and that the only way i would not feel how i normally felt was if i got out of myself by doing something like work, hobby, interest etc.
Three times in my life I've made a lot of money and on all three have then stopped working to fully commit to my quest of stopping drinking and because i had so much time on my hands all 3 times were an absolute disaster. Introvert is fine Isolating is not. If i were you, at 38, i'd get back to work asap, worst case scenario you will have more money in a few years and the same issue with drinking but you won't have no money and a bigger issue with drinking lol. Stick around here as it does help though
It took me a while to figure out that the drinking was a form of self medication, so i felt flat and unimpressed most of the time but drinking or hungover meant that i didn't notice it so bad, that and my obsession with stopping drinking. When i removed all that i had a lot of time to feel what i was feeling of which alcohol was the solution. Along the way i learned that i had to change a lot about my life in order to stay sober and that the only way i would not feel how i normally felt was if i got out of myself by doing something like work, hobby, interest etc.
Three times in my life I've made a lot of money and on all three have then stopped working to fully commit to my quest of stopping drinking and because i had so much time on my hands all 3 times were an absolute disaster. Introvert is fine Isolating is not. If i were you, at 38, i'd get back to work asap, worst case scenario you will have more money in a few years and the same issue with drinking but you won't have no money and a bigger issue with drinking lol. Stick around here as it does help though
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Honestly, I did not start to see a real improvement until around 3 months. I stuck to a detailed plan every day and made it through but some days were terribly rough. Around 3 months I noticed that I was leveling off to a new normal. Almost 8 months in, this go round, and I do feel really positive about life. More energy. Sleep is good. No alcohol cravings.
Yes, give it time. You are doing all the right things and you will come out of your office when you are ready. Rome was not built in a day and recovery from alcoholism takes time like you said.
You are doing well.
Yes, give it time. You are doing all the right things and you will come out of your office when you are ready. Rome was not built in a day and recovery from alcoholism takes time like you said.
You are doing well.
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