Is it okay to have a drink now?...After all this time sober!...Weekenders 28 - 31 May 2021
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Location: NC
Posts: 1,654
Captain I am so sorry! Sending virtual hugs and healing thoughts to you and your family. Stay strong.
Thanks for the intro Mags. I toyed with the idea of quitting for a while and then going back to moderate drinking when I first quit. But realized after my acute and post acute withdrawal (that I am still suffering from) that I could never be a "normal drinker".
I am in for another sober weekend. Day 160 for me today.
Looks like my tooth has to be extracted. It is a back molar so it should be okay. But still after many tests trying to figure out why I have a mild sore throat and swollen glands in my neck. Also pain in my jaw and face. I have had a negative COVID test and am vaccinated. Also negative strep test. Thyroid is also okay. It may be TMJ which I have had before. Going to try wearing a mouth guard tonight.
Thanks for the intro Mags. I toyed with the idea of quitting for a while and then going back to moderate drinking when I first quit. But realized after my acute and post acute withdrawal (that I am still suffering from) that I could never be a "normal drinker".
I am in for another sober weekend. Day 160 for me today.
Looks like my tooth has to be extracted. It is a back molar so it should be okay. But still after many tests trying to figure out why I have a mild sore throat and swollen glands in my neck. Also pain in my jaw and face. I have had a negative COVID test and am vaccinated. Also negative strep test. Thyroid is also okay. It may be TMJ which I have had before. Going to try wearing a mouth guard tonight.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Thanks Mags, great opening post, and thanks everyone for relaying your experiences.
I’m in for a sober weekend. I’m actually staying home this weekend, with internet connection for a change! So I will be popping in over the weekend
Captain, sending love and prayers to your Mum and Dad and all your family ❤️
I’m in for a sober weekend. I’m actually staying home this weekend, with internet connection for a change! So I will be popping in over the weekend
Captain, sending love and prayers to your Mum and Dad and all your family ❤️
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,202
Welcome Scd619x and Sober53!
With lockdown restrictions being lifted and the weather starting to act like it should in late May, London is starting to resemble normality albeit with a mask on. I hope the vaccine programme works because while I totally agree with the restrictions I have had enough of them now.
With lockdown restrictions being lifted and the weather starting to act like it should in late May, London is starting to resemble normality albeit with a mask on. I hope the vaccine programme works because while I totally agree with the restrictions I have had enough of them now.
Magsie
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,680
Welcome to Weekenders Scd619x and Sober53
Hi Willow, be good to have you with us for the weekend.
Saou, seeing a sea of masks on tv as people go about their daily business, I’m always reminded of a when I saw China on the news people were always wearing masks. I guess it was the air quality at the time (a while before the virus). How surreal we’re doing the same now. I wonder if things will ever get back to how they were or will we have a new ‘normal’ from now on.
Take care and don’t be shy to shout out if you’re struggling. xxxx
Hi Willow, be good to have you with us for the weekend.
Saou, seeing a sea of masks on tv as people go about their daily business, I’m always reminded of a when I saw China on the news people were always wearing masks. I guess it was the air quality at the time (a while before the virus). How surreal we’re doing the same now. I wonder if things will ever get back to how they were or will we have a new ‘normal’ from now on.
Take care and don’t be shy to shout out if you’re struggling. xxxx
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 3,515
Morning all!
It's nice to see the sun shining with the prospect of a lovely weekend ahead.
Mags, I think some people will continue to wear masks even after restrictions are completely lifted, whenever that will be. Personally, I can't wait to ditch the mask as soon as it is considered safe to do so. I do think it will be some time before that happens though.
It's nice to see the sun shining with the prospect of a lovely weekend ahead.
Mags, I think some people will continue to wear masks even after restrictions are completely lifted, whenever that will be. Personally, I can't wait to ditch the mask as soon as it is considered safe to do so. I do think it will be some time before that happens though.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,425
Thoughts and prayers for you captain.
When I first put down my koozie for real, I had sort of given up on expectations for the future. I just knew that the life I had been living was no longer tenable. Any notion of going through a week, especially the weekend, without drinking seemed about as likely as finding a golden goose at my front step. After a few months, there was a discussion about it in my January class and it sort of clicked that 'why on earth would I want to drink alcohol?' That thought has stuck, even through the anxiety and stress that comes and goes with life.
When I first put down my koozie for real, I had sort of given up on expectations for the future. I just knew that the life I had been living was no longer tenable. Any notion of going through a week, especially the weekend, without drinking seemed about as likely as finding a golden goose at my front step. After a few months, there was a discussion about it in my January class and it sort of clicked that 'why on earth would I want to drink alcohol?' That thought has stuck, even through the anxiety and stress that comes and goes with life.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
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The way I'm constituted, I leaned into framing and solving fundamental questions to end AV skirmishes. Simplicity and Serenity then follow. One question was: do I even want to drink again [if possible]? A: No. Having had this POV fully permeate me, a lot of Mental and Behavioral Baggage simply gets dropped. One knock-on effect is that elapsed time Sober doesn't change the best strategy. You can't 'safely' go back to something you just don't want. Being around others partaking - which doesn't happen much in my cloistered Life - doesn't generate 'me too' feelings, or cause impulsively picking up. I don't sloppily throw it all to the Wind, but I'm not constantly vigilant, or on edge. Whew!
Being able to drive anytime, and tow my RV Trailer safely, are nice perks to Sobriety. Right now, I'm mucking around with kilowatts of stored energy in massive Golf Cart Batteries used to store Trailer Solar Power. One slip with a metal Wrench while rebuilding this entire System, and things could get ugly as a Battery shorts out. Being clear-headed now while mindful of preemptive safety steps is its own reward, as is waking up Sober today.
I sat down on our Outbuilding Steps, and a well-fed Lizard there didn't even flinch. At peace in Lizard Universe. Below is my Theme Song this Week for me and the Lizard. Lead Man Doyle Bramhall II was Eric Clapton's Left Hand Man on recent Tours. Thanks, Mags...
'Shape I'm In' ~ The Arc Angels
The way I'm constituted, I leaned into framing and solving fundamental questions to end AV skirmishes. Simplicity and Serenity then follow. One question was: do I even want to drink again [if possible]? A: No. Having had this POV fully permeate me, a lot of Mental and Behavioral Baggage simply gets dropped. One knock-on effect is that elapsed time Sober doesn't change the best strategy. You can't 'safely' go back to something you just don't want. Being around others partaking - which doesn't happen much in my cloistered Life - doesn't generate 'me too' feelings, or cause impulsively picking up. I don't sloppily throw it all to the Wind, but I'm not constantly vigilant, or on edge. Whew!
Being able to drive anytime, and tow my RV Trailer safely, are nice perks to Sobriety. Right now, I'm mucking around with kilowatts of stored energy in massive Golf Cart Batteries used to store Trailer Solar Power. One slip with a metal Wrench while rebuilding this entire System, and things could get ugly as a Battery shorts out. Being clear-headed now while mindful of preemptive safety steps is its own reward, as is waking up Sober today.
I sat down on our Outbuilding Steps, and a well-fed Lizard there didn't even flinch. At peace in Lizard Universe. Below is my Theme Song this Week for me and the Lizard. Lead Man Doyle Bramhall II was Eric Clapton's Left Hand Man on recent Tours. Thanks, Mags...
'Shape I'm In' ~ The Arc Angels
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,202
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,942
We all politely say it’s not OK, but the sad fact is it’s not common knowledge that once dependent on alcohol, there’s no “just the one”. The amount of times I gave up for 2 or 3 weeks and then had one glass of wine in a restaurant and then BANG I’d be having a whole bottle and the same again the next night.
for a wonderful opening!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Hello weekend warriors,
I've never had a strong weekly routine in my life as all of my adult schools and jobs have been very flexible/independent, and now being on a long vacation, I almost lost even the remaining sense of any traditional weekly structure. So weekends, holidays and the like never present any particular challenge for my recovery. I decided to participate in these threads more because I am looking for ways to have simple, lighthearted fun and share some moments with other people, see what "ordinary" things we all do in daily life. However, one of my goals for starting in the fall, when I plan to get back to working, is to put more conventional (quite new for me) structure into my days, weeks, seasons... So I would like to experiment and may keep participating in these threads for a while.
These are two pics from my walk in the park yesterday - two recent favorite spots (the top one shows a blooming Azalea/Rhododendon plant) where I like to stop, sit on a bench or lie down on the lawn, to just chill, observe and meditate. For the meditation part (it's a long-standing interest of mine, reinstated ~daily in sobriety), I've recently been using an app called Waking Up, created by neuroscientist and kindred spirit Sam Harris. So far I've only been using the free portion of the app, it gives access to a couple conversations with other great thinkers as well. I'm not a newcomer to meditation, but started from there with his materials, and I'm enjoying it immensely. I really would like to meet the guy one day - his interests and ways of expressing them are so compatible with mine, it's a great pleasure for me to listen to this stuff and also works very well for what I seek in meditation practice. Deep philosophical thoughts about consciousness, the Self, existential crises, vulnerability, rationality, ethics, free will, philosophy of mind, politics, artificial intelligence, facing mortality, finding peace and serenity - it's not exactly lighthearted topics per se, but ones I like to fill my days with and he discusses them in very relatable ways, with simplicity and elegance.
Enjoy the weekend!
I've never had a strong weekly routine in my life as all of my adult schools and jobs have been very flexible/independent, and now being on a long vacation, I almost lost even the remaining sense of any traditional weekly structure. So weekends, holidays and the like never present any particular challenge for my recovery. I decided to participate in these threads more because I am looking for ways to have simple, lighthearted fun and share some moments with other people, see what "ordinary" things we all do in daily life. However, one of my goals for starting in the fall, when I plan to get back to working, is to put more conventional (quite new for me) structure into my days, weeks, seasons... So I would like to experiment and may keep participating in these threads for a while.
These are two pics from my walk in the park yesterday - two recent favorite spots (the top one shows a blooming Azalea/Rhododendon plant) where I like to stop, sit on a bench or lie down on the lawn, to just chill, observe and meditate. For the meditation part (it's a long-standing interest of mine, reinstated ~daily in sobriety), I've recently been using an app called Waking Up, created by neuroscientist and kindred spirit Sam Harris. So far I've only been using the free portion of the app, it gives access to a couple conversations with other great thinkers as well. I'm not a newcomer to meditation, but started from there with his materials, and I'm enjoying it immensely. I really would like to meet the guy one day - his interests and ways of expressing them are so compatible with mine, it's a great pleasure for me to listen to this stuff and also works very well for what I seek in meditation practice. Deep philosophical thoughts about consciousness, the Self, existential crises, vulnerability, rationality, ethics, free will, philosophy of mind, politics, artificial intelligence, facing mortality, finding peace and serenity - it's not exactly lighthearted topics per se, but ones I like to fill my days with and he discusses them in very relatable ways, with simplicity and elegance.
Enjoy the weekend!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Oregon
Posts: 234
Hello weekenders! Weekend almost here at the tail end of the date line. (It gets here later than for many of you but then I suppose, ends later too). I'm in for a sober weekend. I really need to write those words, EVERY weekend as a commitment to myself. Because, as Mags's excellent intro post suggests, and many of you have attested, with time we can forget why we committed in the first place. And weekends can be hard, as the ol' AV goes. Dumb question of the week: can someone tell me what the shotgun is?
Captain, thoughts of healing are coming to you and your family from around the globe!!! Please take care and know that you are in everyone's minds and hearts. CBS, I feel your (tooth) pain! Did the dentist remark on the glands as part of a tooth infection? In my case, the dentist said the two were related. Anyway, take care, it's not fun. I get to chew on one side of my mouth until Tuesday. LOVE the Rhododendons (we call them "Rhodees" around here) and lizard!
Captain, thoughts of healing are coming to you and your family from around the globe!!! Please take care and know that you are in everyone's minds and hearts. CBS, I feel your (tooth) pain! Did the dentist remark on the glands as part of a tooth infection? In my case, the dentist said the two were related. Anyway, take care, it's not fun. I get to chew on one side of my mouth until Tuesday. LOVE the Rhododendons (we call them "Rhodees" around here) and lizard!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Originally Posted by Grateful09 
Hello weekenders! Weekend almost here at the tail end of the date line. (It gets here later than for many of you but then I suppose, ends later too). I'm in for a sober weekend. I really need to write those words, EVERY weekend as a commitment to myself. Because, as Mags's excellent intro post suggests, and many of you have attested, with time we can forget why we committed in the first place. And weekends can be hard, as the ol' AV goes. Dumb question of the week: can someone tell me what the shotgun is?
<snip>
<snip>
You must have no brothers or sisters. It's always the preferred seat in the car. Up front.
"Shotgun" was the guy with the rifle who sat next to the stagecoach driver, protecting the coach, the riders and whatever payroll they had on board.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Hi weekenders
Saturday morning here and it’s going to be a lovely sunny day.
I slept in this morning until 7.30am! Bliss! It’s the first weekend I have been home in what feels like ages and it was so lovely to wake up in my own comfy bed for a sober Saturday morning
I’m not going away this weekend, nor am I working, and I’m feeling immensely relieved to have no pressing plans for the weekend. I feel like my entire being is breathing a huge sigh of relief! Laying here back in bed with a cup of coffee, I just realised the enormous pressure I have been putting on myself to “do” and to achieve and to please other people. It’s time I did more of what I need, including time out for rest.
I’ve had 5 prearranged engagements outside of work this week, one every single day, the last couple being reasonably late nights. Because I keep saying yes instead of no. And I’m so tired. We don’t have much in the way of Covid restrictions here, so life is going along pretty much as normal again. People want me to go out and socialise, and I really don’t want to, largely because I’m still too much influenced by the AV. I have asked myself that question about whether it’s ok to drink again soooo many times, and too many times I have picked up again.
The disastrous weekend a couple of weeks ago at a music festival was a real eye opener for me. I will never drink again and I will never change my mind (Bim I can hear your words in my head lol).
I just got asked to go to another music festival and I have refused. I’m going to politely say “no thank you” a lot more now. I’m exhausted! And the AV loves boozy social activities, especially when I’m tired or stressed or vulnerable in any way. So it’s a NO from me.
Grateful, it’s like “riding shotgun” in the front passenger seat
Edit: Bim I was writing this post while you were posting
Thanks for the beautiful serene photos Aellyce, what a lovely place to walk, relax and meditate.
I’m off to potter around the house and garden
Saturday morning here and it’s going to be a lovely sunny day.
I slept in this morning until 7.30am! Bliss! It’s the first weekend I have been home in what feels like ages and it was so lovely to wake up in my own comfy bed for a sober Saturday morning
I’m not going away this weekend, nor am I working, and I’m feeling immensely relieved to have no pressing plans for the weekend. I feel like my entire being is breathing a huge sigh of relief! Laying here back in bed with a cup of coffee, I just realised the enormous pressure I have been putting on myself to “do” and to achieve and to please other people. It’s time I did more of what I need, including time out for rest.
I’ve had 5 prearranged engagements outside of work this week, one every single day, the last couple being reasonably late nights. Because I keep saying yes instead of no. And I’m so tired. We don’t have much in the way of Covid restrictions here, so life is going along pretty much as normal again. People want me to go out and socialise, and I really don’t want to, largely because I’m still too much influenced by the AV. I have asked myself that question about whether it’s ok to drink again soooo many times, and too many times I have picked up again.
The disastrous weekend a couple of weeks ago at a music festival was a real eye opener for me. I will never drink again and I will never change my mind (Bim I can hear your words in my head lol).
I just got asked to go to another music festival and I have refused. I’m going to politely say “no thank you” a lot more now. I’m exhausted! And the AV loves boozy social activities, especially when I’m tired or stressed or vulnerable in any way. So it’s a NO from me.
Grateful, it’s like “riding shotgun” in the front passenger seat
Edit: Bim I was writing this post while you were posting
Thanks for the beautiful serene photos Aellyce, what a lovely place to walk, relax and meditate.
I’m off to potter around the house and garden
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I just walked to the farmer's market for my week of produce. It's a lot longer walk back (about 4 miles, RT) with 16 pounds of fruit and vegetables.
Yes, I stepped on the scale with the stuff because I thought I'd never get home.
**edit, Hi, Willow.
Yeah, take it easy on you. I would have a meltdown with more than one social event a week!
Yes, I stepped on the scale with the stuff because I thought I'd never get home.
**edit, Hi, Willow.
Yeah, take it easy on you. I would have a meltdown with more than one social event a week!
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