what i have done
Say cheese!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
what i have done
I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared
After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here?
So, if you're asking me, I want you to know
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shared what I've made
I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you
So, if you're asking me, I want you to know
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
And don't resent me
And when you're feeling…
In this farewell
There's no blood, there's no alibi
'Cause I've drawn regret
From the truth of a thousand lies
So let mercy come and wash away
What I've done
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done
Put to rest
What you thought of me
While I clean this slate
With the hands of uncertainty
So let mercy come and wash away
What I've done
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done
For what I've done
I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I'm…
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared
After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here?
So, if you're asking me, I want you to know
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shared what I've made
I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you
So, if you're asking me, I want you to know
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
And don't resent me
And when you're feeling…
In this farewell
There's no blood, there's no alibi
'Cause I've drawn regret
From the truth of a thousand lies
So let mercy come and wash away
What I've done
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done
Put to rest
What you thought of me
While I clean this slate
With the hands of uncertainty
So let mercy come and wash away
What I've done
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done
For what I've done
I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I'm…
Not The Way way, Just the way
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1,413
Others trusting me came back at THEIR pace, not mine. I learned I’m NOT really so important to others; and trying to influence their trust in me about drinking was useless. Time was the only thing that did that, and that required that I never drink again.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Haha, I listened to this and other songs by Linkin Park probably a few hundred times in the past, while drunk. I had to stifle Youtube's recommendations when some of those songs popped up randomly on my feed in my first sober week. Hope you are not posting from a similar state, Erratic 
Say cheese!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete
Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?
Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
And if you have a minute, why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why…
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete
Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?
Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
And if you have a minute, why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why…
Say cheese!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
Im not the one to make a topic, thanks for ur replies. ive got a load of stuff which does speak for me, not sober or even pished which yeah, this songs is. here is another. just trying to voice out how i am feeling. The music will always be the same regardless if drunk or not. so im just reaching out as not sure what to do, been 5 wks i think of drinking daily regardless of me going to gym and havent been able to stop. thought about posting last night, but my mental state is the same, im trying but not sure how to stop this cycle.hub said when i said i cant keep on doing this and he said, yeah carry on and u be dead. having health probs again,but dont know how to do this. thought i did, but cant. so im dead.
How does it feel runnin' around
'round
'round?
How does it feel watchin' from upside down?
'Cause many years from now
There will be new sensations and new temptations
How does it feel?
How does it feel right at the start?
And how does it feel when you are thrown apart?
'Cause many years from now
There will be new elations and new frustrations
How does it feel?
Do you know
Know
Know what it's like
To be searchin' in your own time?
All your attempting
Experimenting ali on the climb.
Do you know
Know
Know what it's like
To be searchin' and suddenly find
All your illusion
All your confusion all left behind?
How does it feel turnin' away?
And how does it feel…
I couldn't tell you
Why she felt that way
She felt it everyday
And I couldn't help her
I just watched her make
The same mistakes again
What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs
She wants to go home
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside
With no place to go
No place to go
To dry her eyes
Broken inside
Open your eyes
And look outside
Find the reasons why
You've been rejected
And now you can't find
What you left behind
Be strong, be strong now
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs
She wants to go home
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside
With no place to go
No place to go
To dry her eyes
Broken inside
Her feelings she hides
Her dreams she can't…
How does it feel runnin' around
'round
'round?
How does it feel watchin' from upside down?
'Cause many years from now
There will be new sensations and new temptations
How does it feel?
How does it feel right at the start?
And how does it feel when you are thrown apart?
'Cause many years from now
There will be new elations and new frustrations
How does it feel?
Do you know
Know
Know what it's like
To be searchin' in your own time?
All your attempting
Experimenting ali on the climb.
Do you know
Know
Know what it's like
To be searchin' and suddenly find
All your illusion
All your confusion all left behind?
How does it feel turnin' away?
And how does it feel…
I couldn't tell you
Why she felt that way
She felt it everyday
And I couldn't help her
I just watched her make
The same mistakes again
What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs
She wants to go home
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside
With no place to go
No place to go
To dry her eyes
Broken inside
Open your eyes
And look outside
Find the reasons why
You've been rejected
And now you can't find
What you left behind
Be strong, be strong now
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs
She wants to go home
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside
With no place to go
No place to go
To dry her eyes
Broken inside
Her feelings she hides
Her dreams she can't…
Say cheese!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
hen this began
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
And I let it all out to find
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind
But all that they can see the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long
(Erase all the pain 'til it's gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That…
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
And I let it all out to find
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind
But all that they can see the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long
(Erase all the pain 'til it's gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That…
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Hi Erratic. What is the weekend looking like? Can you perhaps take a day or two off and start next week sober? Lots of drama you are putting down in writing here. I'm not sure that is getting you anywhere except further down the rabbit hole.
I hope you can dump your supply and get a few days under your belt and start the new week back on your healthy journey.
I hope you can dump your supply and get a few days under your belt and start the new week back on your healthy journey.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
Originally Posted by Erratic 
I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared
After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here?
So, if you're asking me, I want you to know
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shared what I've made
I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you
So, if you're asking me, I want you to know
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
And don't resent me
And when you're feeling…
In this farewell
There's no blood, there's no alibi
'Cause I've drawn regret
From the truth of a thousand lies
So let mercy come and wash away
What I've done
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done
Put to rest
What you thought of me
While I clean this slate
With the hands of uncertainty
So let mercy come and wash away
What I've done
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done
For what I've done
I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I'm…
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared
After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here?
So, if you're asking me, I want you to know
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shared what I've made
I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you
So, if you're asking me, I want you to know
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
And don't resent me
And when you're feeling…
In this farewell
There's no blood, there's no alibi
'Cause I've drawn regret
From the truth of a thousand lies
So let mercy come and wash away
What I've done
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done
Put to rest
What you thought of me
While I clean this slate
With the hands of uncertainty
So let mercy come and wash away
What I've done
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done
For what I've done
I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I'm…
Say cheese!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
Thanks surrender x im posting this to remind me in morning and do what u say as yes i need some days and i want. me even posting this a step. thanks again. see how i am in morning which actually i am so regular in drinking just now is i dont have hangover and this is not good.so it will be day 1 tomo and try and do what i can. Might just put music again, as i find it hard to express or write properly, hense why music. me writing now is me pretending that i can and i a could be smart which im not. sry im not smart or can write properly x thanks for everyones helps. x
Say cheese!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
this song and nothingman is me x
Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain
Give me endless summer
Lord, I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord, I'm doing all I can
To be a better man
Go easy on my conscience
'Cause it's not my fault
I know I've been taught
To take the blame
Rest assured my angels
Will catch my tears
Walk me out of here
I'm in pain
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man
Once you've found that lover
You're homeward bound
Love is all around
Love is all around
I know some have fallen on stony ground
But…
Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain
Give me endless summer
Lord, I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord, I'm doing all I can
To be a better man
Go easy on my conscience
'Cause it's not my fault
I know I've been taught
To take the blame
Rest assured my angels
Will catch my tears
Walk me out of here
I'm in pain
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man
Once you've found that lover
You're homeward bound
Love is all around
Love is all around
I know some have fallen on stony ground
But…
Say cheese!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
wow dee thanks for that lovely reminder x
on how i feel this morn is i am sick enough to not drink today and will do what surrender suggested is not drink tomo and then will see how i am and get on. It wont be easy but i will try and do x
thanks for everyone help last night x
on how i feel this morn is i am sick enough to not drink today and will do what surrender suggested is not drink tomo and then will see how i am and get on. It wont be easy but i will try and do x
thanks for everyone help last night x
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
How are you today, Erratic?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2H4l9RpkwM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2H4l9RpkwM
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