Day 5 - pain
 

I have no idea if I am supposed to start a new thread each time I post, so please forgive me if I am doing the wrong thing! ( I don't know what all the icons are for so I haven't put any) It is day 5 and I woke up feeling terrible - made worse by a tooth extraction the previous day ( I am sure years of smoking and drinking haven't helped my teeth at all) Headache, very anxious, cotton wool brain. When ever I give up alcohol I always sleep really badly for days. I am pleased it's day 5 but wish I was not feeling so physically and mentally rubbish. Hard to deal with stuff when I am like this. Wish I could just crawl under a blanket for the day. Cant though, No one knows apart from this group what I am doing, In a way good I had a tooth out as I can blame everything on that. Just taking it one day at a time and it helps to know others are dealing with the same, some much worse and I do send them the good thoughts I can. Going for a short walk in the sunshine now and hope to feel better.

Day 5--Good job!

Post as often as you want, start as many threads.

You're doing good dustyfox =)

Day 5 should be a little bit easier than the 4 previous days (a little bit!)
You will begin to sleep better.

One day at a time is a proven strategy, or a minute at a time if a day is too much
Remember you are the boss over that pesky AV.

Stay with us on SR :grouphug:

Drs can give you medication to greatly reduce your symptoms.

Might be worth considering if you can as I basically can't ever stop without it.

Dusty fox! I've felt the day 5 pain so many damn times. The good news is, that day 6 pain is a little easier, and day 7 is even easier again. Be kind to yourself during this time. It gets better. I promise x

Sorry you're feeling a bit rough, it's to be expected I figured. I poured large amounts of a toxic substance into my own mouth for years. Makes sense that I was a whole lot more messed up than I wanted to be for a whole lot longer than I expected.

Thanks for the reminder. Never again.

Hope you make the same decision.

Hang on! Post away, keep talking and reading. :)

I felt like garbage for quite awhile.
Give yourself time to heal. Rest and more rest. Take it slow and know that you are empowering yourself. Changing our lives takes a lot of energy and a lot of good hard work. Keep on moving forward!

You’re doing great FF.

It does get better & it does get easier.

Just keep going and never ever give in.

Five days was the worst misery I had experienced in recovery, but it wasn't the same as yours. It was an overwhelming obsession. I don't recall having any physical pain on that day, but then everything got better after that. I don't know how much of that reversal was because of a natural tapering off of cravings. Mostly, I think it was because 4 hours later, was the first time I committed to something other than a brutal war between will power and addiction. I took the first action of consequence.

First, I attended my first AA meeting. I had already read the book, and knew the 12 steps, which I recognized as something that would be of little use to me. But the people were welcoming and happy. They had clearly discovered something about sobriety that warranted more that sitting around craving a drink every day of their lives. If they could do it, I could do it. I had been involved in alcohol counseling, which involved seeing a counselor once a week, and then floundered for 6 days in addiction. It wasn't helping. But AA was a group that met every day, mostly celebrating sobriety. The daily meetings gave me something to look forward to each day. All I had to to was make it on my own for 3 hours after work, and drive to my safe base. This gave me something other than going to a bar to be around people. Later, I also got help with specific issues when I needed it.

Second, it was the first time I considered total sobriety. Moderation was an abject failure that amounted to nothing more than feeding my addiction, and I never moderated for one minute. But when some old timer pointed out that the AA goal was permanent abstinence, I recognized that this is what I needed to do. And that old timer seem no worse the wear from having done exactly that.

Instead of waiting 7 days to see a counselor, all I had to do was make it to a meeting every day, and that meeting was enough to carry me through the rest of the night. So there were two things that happened that first night, that turned the corner for me: 1)Being with people everyday that celebrated sobriety and 2)Committing to life long abstinence. Recovery happened fast after that, and by that I mean the diminishing of cravings happened fast. With that out of the way, I could begin getting better in a way that was enjoyable.

ABOUT PAIN - This is part of life. It has nothing to do with recovery. It does make a good vehicle for your AV to use against you.

I do not know, even now, if I have committed to a lifetime of sobriety - I wish I could say I have. I have committed to trying and I am really not wanting to do my usual which is I get to Friday, pat myself on the back and pour a drink! getting past the weekend will be big for me. I stopped being a heavy social drinker maybe 10 years ago - now I am a drinker who drinks at home - I quite like drinking on my own - and this weekend most unusually I am on my own - so bad timing for kids trip with their Dad! DriGuy I do get the 'obsession' my mind literally becomes overwhelmed with a flood of compulsion to just forget it an have a drink! Anyway I am still hanging on in there,

One day at a time is fine for now dustyfox. Perhaps set a 30 day goal to see how awesome you can feel!!..

Many people gain decades of sobriety one day at a time, some just quit forever. We all have our own path to sobriety.

Congrats on 5 days!! That is the hardest part - getting through the physical withdrawal. Now it becomes a mind game for awhile.

Have you joined the May class yet? There is a great bunch in there and it really helps to check in regularly. Lots of fun too!

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-one.html

Dustyfox, you are welcome to create as many threads as you like.

I'm sorry you're struggling on Day 5, but it really will start to improve soon. The symptoms you have will ease up.

My suggestion for the upcoming weekend is to plan ahead. Plan to be doing different things than you would normally do on a weekend. Keep yourself occupied and be sure to do some things that you really enjoy.

Great job on day five and I hoped the walk helped.

Getting support in real life is important too - have you thought about confiding in anyone you are close to? It's not easy, but when I came clean about everything it really helped. Just a thought....x

This is concerning...

In fact at some point I think you will need to make that decision.

If you've signed up to a Sobriety web forum, I'm guessing you are at best a problem drinker. What is the reasoning behind just taking a break as opposed to quitting completely?

I do want to quit completely biminiblue it's just that in the past - the last 30 years - I have stopped many times - pledging never again - and failed. I suppose I cant face disappointing myself again - in my mind I have quit for good - but I fear, I suppose, failure.

You've come up with a plan to fail, rather than a plan to stop. You want to quit, but your plan is to do what you've always done, which puts you right where you are, which is the same place you have always been. You have got nowhere with that plan.

You want to quit, but you are committing to repeated failure, because you don't want to be disappointed when you fail again (your words). I suppose you can then say, "I didn't want to stop anyway. Therefore, I didn't fail." But all you've done is earned the booby prize.

Maybe you don't want to quit, but still have the desire to quit, the common dilemma for all of us in the beginning. I understand that, but the hard truth is that abstinence is the only way you can avoid the failure of repeated failure. Not quitting, your preferred option, only reinforces your alcoholism and keeps your trapped, even if your plan is to only drink on Fridays. Most all of us have been there. I've been there. I will tell you that even after I sobered up for several months, I believed that if I could have limited my drinking to Friday and Saturday, I never would have sought help. Now that I know what sobriety is like, I would not trade what I have for all the booze in Kentucky.

Consider the plan of never drinking, but you must include more in the plan. Decide what actions you will take to make that happen. The short version of the plan to never drink again, is not enough. You need to know how you are going to do that.

I drank for 30 years and by the end, I could barely make it 3 days without a drink.
I had no idea if permanent sobriety was possible for me but I was willing to give it a try.

With the help and support of this place and others I’m now 14 years sober.

Our past need not dictate our future, yeah? :)

However disappointed we might be by drinking again, we’d be exponentially more disappointed in ourselves if we gave up completely and never tried to quit at all.

Our addicted self will fight for its survival and confuse, bluster, and rationalise its corrupted version of the Truth. It will try to blind us with BS and tie us up in knots to stop change happening.

Don’t let it DF:)

D

I felt the same at 5 days sober. We recover in stages. Things will get so much better - you'll feel hope again.

The misery that life long drinking brings - you don't need it, dustyfox. I drank 30 yrs. & in the end it was every day. I never made a move without having it in my system.
I failed many times too - but the last time was different. I was terrified of my behavior & disgusted with myself. Talking it over here at SR helped convince me I could get free. I stayed with it, & now have 13 yrs. sober. There is no doubt you can do the same.

I am imagining that in a few months I will read what you have written here and understand it. I actually feel frightened at how little I am understanding today. My internal demon is raging. I don't have the clarity of thought to plan for my recovery - I did have a few days ago but I am in so much pain, ( tooth extraction) and the fog of withdrawal clouds my thinking. I heed your words. I will simply keep taking each day at a time. I honestly cant do more than that at the moment,

Hang in there dustyfox. I understand how overwhelming this must seem, and sometimes those who have been here a long time can be blunt with their advice, but it is out of genuine concern and wanting to help. Most of us know how tricky the addiction can be, based on our own painful experience. I drank for decades, like you, with only a few breaks in there. Because I could moderate to some degree, I thought I was controlling my addiction.. but the addiction was controlling me.

Just take it a day at a time for now and things will get better. Simply don't take a drink today, and don't worry about tomorrow. Then tomorrow just do the same. And so on. Soon you will have many sober days - one at a time.

I am so glad you joined the May class DF, you will get some great support there also. Keep posting here too though.

Really wishing you the best.