dustyfox

Hi, I am new to this forum, I have once again stopped drinking alcohol. I find it easy to stop. Not so easy to stay stopped. After a couple of days I feel so pleased with myself I find myself sliding back to old habits, as a reward for stopping. I feel I must stop, must get this drinking under control. So this is the first time I have even written about it, admitted there is a problem. How big it the problem? I don't know, it feels big when I wake up at 4am my heart pounding worrying that I am never going to be in control of alcohol. It doesn't feel so big by 7pm when I am mustering every bit of will power not to have a glass of wine, but then thinking 'hey be nice to yourself , you deserve a drink' - it really does mess with your head, this addiction. Anyway I am hoping this will help, any help you can get is worth grasping, sometimes will power alone is not enough.

Primativo

I'm on day 12 at the moment, so early days. My last binge is still fresh in my memory. I think it's important not to forget the bad stuff that happens when I drink. Don't let those memories fade away and then get left with the romanticising of alcohol. Play the tape forward. Understand where that nice glass of wine will lead you to. It's never going to be different this time, it will be the same misery as before, and sometimes even worse. It's the first drink that starts the chain reaction, so avoid that at all costs.

Anna

Welcome. We do understand how hard this is. You will find lots of support here to stop and to stay stopped.

least

Welcome to the family DF. I've found the best tool in my sobriety toolbox is Gratitude. When I practice gratitude every day I am happier and more secure in my sobriety.

RogerD

Hi. Welcome. That’s great news you want to stop. It’s also great you’ ve taken the first step by joining this forum. If you’ve been able to stop before for a few days then why not try to stop for thirty. Set that as the bar. See how much better you feel. See how much money you’ll save. This positive reinforcement might help you continue on to 60 and beyond.

If you think you have a problem, you probably do, and better to address it now than a few years down the road when your addiction is worse. You can do this.

Introvrtd1

I know how you feel 😕 For a long time I’ve said to myself I need to quit drinking…I was finally sick n tired of being sick n tired…

Its been a horrible four and a half months…nowhere nearly enough to feel completely better but there are good days.

Hang in there…sobriety is a journey…One day at a time.

advbike

The last few times I had any alcohol the quantities were quite small (2-3 drinks) and it STILL made me feel sluggish and tired, and then came the early AM anxiety, insomnia, and feelings of shame, like clockwork. Fatigued the next day (thank God for coffee). So for me, I just can't drink at all anymore, despite still enjoying the taste of wine and beer. I just hate the effects too much. So when the thought of a nice beer comes along on a hot evening all I have to do is play that tape forward and the desire is gone. I also find that regular daily aerobic (vigorous) exercise really helps reduce the desire for alcohol. It just doesn't have any attraction if I'm working out/being healthy.

Dee74

Hi and welcome dustyfox

reading & posting here really changed things round for me.

It was much harder to rationalise I wasn't that bad, or maybe I overreacted when the details of my drinking was here in black and white, and other peoples drinking experiences were too.

Stick around - good to have you here

D

Robbie64

Welcome to SR dustyfox

Stopping is indeed easy, I've done it lots of times. However, staying stopped is the harder part. I found reading and posting here at SR helped. Reading posts by people in the same situation as myself helps with the cravings and also helps with staying focussed on staying stopped. Keep visiting SR, you'll find lots of support here to help you achieve your aim of staying stopped.

Hevyn

Wonderful to meet you, dusty. You'll find this is a great place for understanding & encouragement.
I drank 30 yrs. & had a very difficult time staying stopped. Being here to talk things over has meant the world. I think it will help you too. Welcome!

Free2bme888

Welcome dustyfox. Lots of support here. We also have a Class of May 2021, where most of us there started out journeys this month.

Jo43

Welcome Dusty! I found I couldn’t stay stopped drinking in my own too. I would just give in too easily. I hold myself accountable to my lovely friends here and my AA ladies and that has helped me immensely! I’m 29 days sober so still very early in my recovery but I have a steely determination this time that I haven’t had before. Stay close to SR read the posts even if you don’t feel like interacting it all helps! We are here for you! Xx

b0glerd69

Hi Dustyfox, think about healthy things and little projects and ambitions you have to fill the time you spent drinking/hungover and it will help to keep your mind occupied and you'll also find that you may rekindle a child-like joy for simple things. Keep posting.

D122y

That feeling good/proud after 2 or so days was the addiction tricking me.

Deny the booze and the insanity (google insanity) shows through.

There are immediate rewards, but the addict has to want to quit badly and understand what is happening in order to quit.

Most so called normies could not quit if they tried.

Thanks.

dustyfox

Yes, I am also sick and tired of being sick and tired, and sick and tired of myself!

dustyfox

Yes, it's absurd to feel proud after two days - or even a week - it 'tricks'me all the time!

Gabe1980

Well done on the two days - you should be proud of that; it's not easy. Welcome to SR xx

brighterday1234

Indeed it’s the staying stopped that’s the really difficult part. That’s where the real work starts. It is entirely possible though and there is a wonderful life available in sobriety and recovery.

DriGuy

Sounds familiar. I haven't been in exactly the same rut, but I have had those false successes that told me everything is OK, and I was not an alcoholic, so I could have a drink and still feel good about myself. The problem is that at two days without a drink, you haven't accomplished anything. I felt like this after one night without alcohol, convinced myself that my life was on track and started drinking again the next night. Dusty, meet Alcoholic Voice. I'm sure you two will get a long fine.

There is actually some progress taking place here. You haven't broken any addiction cycle, haven't even come close, but I went through this too. After a few episodes of patting yourself on the back and celebrating your victory over alcoholism with another two weeks of nightly drinking, it's starts to dawn on you, that maybe you haven't solved anything. So consider this part of the learning process.

So how big is your problem? That's not very relevant. You wake up in the middle of the night with your heart pounding (I've been there too), and you know this can't be good for you. I never figured out the biological cause, but when I quit 25 years ago, it never happened again. Why would your heart pound when you are supposedly at rest? Your body is out of whack and working overtime when you aren't doing anything. How big is your problem? Big enough!

Do you have to stop? A better question is how are you going to do that? Two days without alcohol doesn't do any good. You know that by now. If you are an alcoholic (you know, one of those guys that wakes up in the middle of the night with his heart pounding), you need to accept that the only way out is to quit for good. For good, not just until you feel normal, because any time you take a drink you go right back to where you were. And it will be like that for life.

The good news is that total sobriety is not the sacrifice you believe it is. It represents a freedom and a new life that you don't believe is possible right now. I've been there too. But I love sobriety. I don't miss drinking... not ever. What was I thinking 25 years ago?

First you have to get through the cravings and that's going to take a week or two. They will subside, but if you are like me, you will still be playing dangerous head games with yourself. Just know that these are coming, and remember not to play the games when they start. There's more, but first, lets do one thing at a time.

OneThingAtATime

Dusty, I am glad you are here and your thread really hit home to me.

I was sober for 5 yrs and took my sobriety very seriously, till I didn't and thought I could drink socially. No I can't.

I have had lots of stops these last few years and then that voice that sounds almost rational, hits me and I am back on that slippery slope.

I am done slipping and sliding, I hope.

Drinking makes nothing easier, drinking doesn't relax me, and drinking doesn't make life more fun. Drinking just makes me stupid, sick and tired.

DriGuy gave us both some good advise!

OneThing