Almost 1 Year Sober - Upcoming Challenge
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 31
Almost 1 Year Sober - Upcoming Challenge
Hi Everyone!
I am from the July 2020 class...was looking for that thread but didn't find it...anyway...
So, I have to say, I took my last drink on June 30th 2020, and my first day of sobriety was July 1st 2020. I haven't had a sip of alcohol since then. It has been amazing. I was losing my marriage and now I am not, we are fully together, in love, and going forward at breakneck speed. My wife, at the time, was seriously considering leaving me due to my alcoholism...and if she didn't leave, was not comfortable in moving forward in any of the usual steps for a newly married couple in early middle age. No house, no kids, just hanging on and considering calling it quits. Since July, we have bought a home, and are now expecting our first child! Amazing!
I say this next part to give hope to others, and not to denigrate those who have been struggling, but honestly, it has been really easy for me...and I was a pretty serious alcoholic. I just woke up that morning, said enough is enough, and went on with life...so while you may struggle (and that's okay, and probably normal)...if you are on the fence about it...just try...you might be like me and just stopped, moved on, and kept trucking without any cravings or bumps in the road.
I had tried stopping before but had always made it about "wanting" to stop...and I never really did...I loved getting drunk...so I needed to recalibrate my mindset in order to pull off this cold turkey full stop idea. I'm a very straightforward, logical person, ironic considering how illogical drinking is...so on July 1st 2020 I looked at it this way...and maybe this could help someone:
I said, Greg, your favorite food in the entire world is crab legs...if you went to a doctors office today and they told you that if you ate anymore seafood you would have an adverse reaction and die...leaving your friends and family behind...what would you do? I easily said to myself I would never touch the stuff again and move on with life knowing I needed to keep an eye on my food allergy. I used the same logic that day when I stopped drinking...I just told myself, Greg, you are allergic to alcohol...it doesn't do the same things in your body that it does to other people...you are 100% allergic to it. For me, that made sense, and helped me to wrap my head around leaving my old friend alcohol behind. Maybe look at it that way...it helped me.
So as positive as this has all been, I am looking at my first big upcoming challenge. I will be alone for 3 weeks soon...we have both talked about it and are both confident that I will be fine. I wouldn't have agreed to her traveling and leaving me behind if I had any doubt that I would slip up. The temptation isn't really there for me...but I came online today to post, tell my story, and ask for prayers...I will probably hang around a bit more over the next coming weeks, especially if I start to feel any pangs of temptation...it would be so easy to turn this into a 3 week party and trick myself into thinking I can "get away" with it.
That said, I feel strong, and don't anticipate any problems...hope you all are having a great day...honestly, any of you on here not yet sober, you really can do it...I had (and still do) have a pretty easy work at home job that just totally catered to me drinking literally every day, and usually starting as soon as my wife left for work (in the morning!!)...so yeah...that is pretty deep into it...and I just stopped...it IS POSSIBLE!!
Best,
G
I am from the July 2020 class...was looking for that thread but didn't find it...anyway...
So, I have to say, I took my last drink on June 30th 2020, and my first day of sobriety was July 1st 2020. I haven't had a sip of alcohol since then. It has been amazing. I was losing my marriage and now I am not, we are fully together, in love, and going forward at breakneck speed. My wife, at the time, was seriously considering leaving me due to my alcoholism...and if she didn't leave, was not comfortable in moving forward in any of the usual steps for a newly married couple in early middle age. No house, no kids, just hanging on and considering calling it quits. Since July, we have bought a home, and are now expecting our first child! Amazing!
I say this next part to give hope to others, and not to denigrate those who have been struggling, but honestly, it has been really easy for me...and I was a pretty serious alcoholic. I just woke up that morning, said enough is enough, and went on with life...so while you may struggle (and that's okay, and probably normal)...if you are on the fence about it...just try...you might be like me and just stopped, moved on, and kept trucking without any cravings or bumps in the road.
I had tried stopping before but had always made it about "wanting" to stop...and I never really did...I loved getting drunk...so I needed to recalibrate my mindset in order to pull off this cold turkey full stop idea. I'm a very straightforward, logical person, ironic considering how illogical drinking is...so on July 1st 2020 I looked at it this way...and maybe this could help someone:
I said, Greg, your favorite food in the entire world is crab legs...if you went to a doctors office today and they told you that if you ate anymore seafood you would have an adverse reaction and die...leaving your friends and family behind...what would you do? I easily said to myself I would never touch the stuff again and move on with life knowing I needed to keep an eye on my food allergy. I used the same logic that day when I stopped drinking...I just told myself, Greg, you are allergic to alcohol...it doesn't do the same things in your body that it does to other people...you are 100% allergic to it. For me, that made sense, and helped me to wrap my head around leaving my old friend alcohol behind. Maybe look at it that way...it helped me.
So as positive as this has all been, I am looking at my first big upcoming challenge. I will be alone for 3 weeks soon...we have both talked about it and are both confident that I will be fine. I wouldn't have agreed to her traveling and leaving me behind if I had any doubt that I would slip up. The temptation isn't really there for me...but I came online today to post, tell my story, and ask for prayers...I will probably hang around a bit more over the next coming weeks, especially if I start to feel any pangs of temptation...it would be so easy to turn this into a 3 week party and trick myself into thinking I can "get away" with it.
That said, I feel strong, and don't anticipate any problems...hope you all are having a great day...honestly, any of you on here not yet sober, you really can do it...I had (and still do) have a pretty easy work at home job that just totally catered to me drinking literally every day, and usually starting as soon as my wife left for work (in the morning!!)...so yeah...that is pretty deep into it...and I just stopped...it IS POSSIBLE!!
Best,
G
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
Congratulations on how far you've come - a new home and soon, a new baby. I think it's good to be wary about the 3 weeks on your own, but you sound confident and well-grounded in your recovery. Checking in here more often is, of course, a good idea.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hey congratulations Greg 
Sounds to me like you have a good handle on why you stopped drinking and on why you need to continue to stay stopped.
There should be no difference whether your wife is there or not, right?
You've got this,
D
Sounds to me like you have a good handle on why you stopped drinking and on why you need to continue to stay stopped.
There should be no difference whether your wife is there or not, right?
You've got this,
D
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,781
If you're looking for the Class of July 2020, you'll find it in the Daily Support forum, that's where extended threads go.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-4-a.html (Class of July 2020 Part 4)
I'm glad it was easy for you. My sobriety journey wasn't easy, but was made more bearable, even enjoyable, after I started practicing gratitude every day.
Congrats on the first of many sober years!
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-4-a.html (Class of July 2020 Part 4)
I'm glad it was easy for you. My sobriety journey wasn't easy, but was made more bearable, even enjoyable, after I started practicing gratitude every day.
Congrats on the first of many sober years!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 300
Originally Posted by greg198499 
Hi Everyone!
I am from the July 2020 class...was looking for that thread but didn't find it...anyway...
So, I have to say, I took my last drink on June 30th 2020, and my first day of sobriety was July 1st 2020. I haven't had a sip of alcohol since then. It has been amazing. I was losing my marriage and now I am not, we are fully together, in love, and going forward at breakneck speed. My wife, at the time, was seriously considering leaving me due to my alcoholism...and if she didn't leave, was not comfortable in moving forward in any of the usual steps for a newly married couple in early middle age. No house, no kids, just hanging on and considering calling it quits. Since July, we have bought a home, and are now expecting our first child! Amazing!
I say this next part to give hope to others, and not to denigrate those who have been struggling, but honestly, it has been really easy for me...and I was a pretty serious alcoholic. I just woke up that morning, said enough is enough, and went on with life...so while you may struggle (and that's okay, and probably normal)...if you are on the fence about it...just try...you might be like me and just stopped, moved on, and kept trucking without any cravings or bumps in the road.
I had tried stopping before but had always made it about "wanting" to stop...and I never really did...I loved getting drunk...so I needed to recalibrate my mindset in order to pull off this cold turkey full stop idea. I'm a very straightforward, logical person, ironic considering how illogical drinking is...so on July 1st 2020 I looked at it this way...and maybe this could help someone:
I said, Greg, your favorite food in the entire world is crab legs...if you went to a doctors office today and they told you that if you ate anymore seafood you would have an adverse reaction and die...leaving your friends and family behind...what would you do? I easily said to myself I would never touch the stuff again and move on with life knowing I needed to keep an eye on my food allergy. I used the same logic that day when I stopped drinking...I just told myself, Greg, you are allergic to alcohol...it doesn't do the same things in your body that it does to other people...you are 100% allergic to it. For me, that made sense, and helped me to wrap my head around leaving my old friend alcohol behind. Maybe look at it that way...it helped me.
So as positive as this has all been, I am looking at my first big upcoming challenge. I will be alone for 3 weeks soon...we have both talked about it and are both confident that I will be fine. I wouldn't have agreed to her traveling and leaving me behind if I had any doubt that I would slip up. The temptation isn't really there for me...but I came online today to post, tell my story, and ask for prayers...I will probably hang around a bit more over the next coming weeks, especially if I start to feel any pangs of temptation...it would be so easy to turn this into a 3 week party and trick myself into thinking I can "get away" with it.
That said, I feel strong, and don't anticipate any problems...hope you all are having a great day...honestly, any of you on here not yet sober, you really can do it...I had (and still do) have a pretty easy work at home job that just totally catered to me drinking literally every day, and usually starting as soon as my wife left for work (in the morning!!)...so yeah...that is pretty deep into it...and I just stopped...it IS POSSIBLE!!
Best,
G
I am from the July 2020 class...was looking for that thread but didn't find it...anyway...
So, I have to say, I took my last drink on June 30th 2020, and my first day of sobriety was July 1st 2020. I haven't had a sip of alcohol since then. It has been amazing. I was losing my marriage and now I am not, we are fully together, in love, and going forward at breakneck speed. My wife, at the time, was seriously considering leaving me due to my alcoholism...and if she didn't leave, was not comfortable in moving forward in any of the usual steps for a newly married couple in early middle age. No house, no kids, just hanging on and considering calling it quits. Since July, we have bought a home, and are now expecting our first child! Amazing!
I say this next part to give hope to others, and not to denigrate those who have been struggling, but honestly, it has been really easy for me...and I was a pretty serious alcoholic. I just woke up that morning, said enough is enough, and went on with life...so while you may struggle (and that's okay, and probably normal)...if you are on the fence about it...just try...you might be like me and just stopped, moved on, and kept trucking without any cravings or bumps in the road.
I had tried stopping before but had always made it about "wanting" to stop...and I never really did...I loved getting drunk...so I needed to recalibrate my mindset in order to pull off this cold turkey full stop idea. I'm a very straightforward, logical person, ironic considering how illogical drinking is...so on July 1st 2020 I looked at it this way...and maybe this could help someone:
I said, Greg, your favorite food in the entire world is crab legs...if you went to a doctors office today and they told you that if you ate anymore seafood you would have an adverse reaction and die...leaving your friends and family behind...what would you do? I easily said to myself I would never touch the stuff again and move on with life knowing I needed to keep an eye on my food allergy. I used the same logic that day when I stopped drinking...I just told myself, Greg, you are allergic to alcohol...it doesn't do the same things in your body that it does to other people...you are 100% allergic to it. For me, that made sense, and helped me to wrap my head around leaving my old friend alcohol behind. Maybe look at it that way...it helped me.
So as positive as this has all been, I am looking at my first big upcoming challenge. I will be alone for 3 weeks soon...we have both talked about it and are both confident that I will be fine. I wouldn't have agreed to her traveling and leaving me behind if I had any doubt that I would slip up. The temptation isn't really there for me...but I came online today to post, tell my story, and ask for prayers...I will probably hang around a bit more over the next coming weeks, especially if I start to feel any pangs of temptation...it would be so easy to turn this into a 3 week party and trick myself into thinking I can "get away" with it.
That said, I feel strong, and don't anticipate any problems...hope you all are having a great day...honestly, any of you on here not yet sober, you really can do it...I had (and still do) have a pretty easy work at home job that just totally catered to me drinking literally every day, and usually starting as soon as my wife left for work (in the morning!!)...so yeah...that is pretty deep into it...and I just stopped...it IS POSSIBLE!!
Best,
G
👏👏💐 I think you will breeze through the 3 weeks.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
Originally Posted by greg198499
I had tried stopping before but had always made it about "wanting" to stop...and I never really did...I loved getting drunk...so I needed to recalibrate my mindset in order to pull off this cold turkey full stop idea.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Great story and a big congrats. For me what worked best under similar circumstances - whether it was time alone or a wedding/vacation where I knew I'd be around drinking - was to plan and visualize. The latter being extremely effective. So for time alone I planned that on a given day I would go to the bookstore, see my mom, call a friend, workout - whatever it might be to distract or refocus my day away from any urges to drink. And then visualizing was even more powerful - picture myself at the wedding, standing next to people drinking, seltzer in my cup, having fun, not upset - it gave me some confidence to encounter the experiences that I found valuable.
Last thing to think about as the time approaches are the sober muscles that you will be building during the three weeks. It's almost like an intensive bootcamp - you will come away having fortified and deepened your sobriety.
SR is the best for this, the ability to check in here any time of day etc. Make sure you utilize us if needed.
Last thing to think about as the time approaches are the sober muscles that you will be building during the three weeks. It's almost like an intensive bootcamp - you will come away having fortified and deepened your sobriety.
SR is the best for this, the ability to check in here any time of day etc. Make sure you utilize us if needed.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,934
Congratulations on your sobriety, restoring your marriage and now expecting a child!
it would be so easy to turn this into a 3 week party and trick myself into thinking I can "get away" with it.
As an alcoholic I totally understand that thinking. I've actually done the personal research on the topic, and I can tell you it won't work. You wife will find out and you will get busted. It could happen in the form of an incoherent text message, your slurred speech when your wife calls you one night, of a friend telling your wife that you are drinking. However, the most likely way you will get busted, is you telling your wife yourself. Guilt and shame will make you do that. And if your wife comes home after 3 weeks, looks you in the eye and asks you if you drank, can you really pull off that lie? There is not a chance I could do that.
Stay strong, and hang around this website everyday if you need to. And during the 3 weeks your wife is gone, do something special around the house so that when she comes home she can easily see what you have been up to, and knows that you love her. And her trust in you is will be further reinforced.
it would be so easy to turn this into a 3 week party and trick myself into thinking I can "get away" with it.
As an alcoholic I totally understand that thinking. I've actually done the personal research on the topic, and I can tell you it won't work. You wife will find out and you will get busted. It could happen in the form of an incoherent text message, your slurred speech when your wife calls you one night, of a friend telling your wife that you are drinking. However, the most likely way you will get busted, is you telling your wife yourself. Guilt and shame will make you do that. And if your wife comes home after 3 weeks, looks you in the eye and asks you if you drank, can you really pull off that lie? There is not a chance I could do that.
Stay strong, and hang around this website everyday if you need to. And during the 3 weeks your wife is gone, do something special around the house so that when she comes home she can easily see what you have been up to, and knows that you love her. And her trust in you is will be further reinforced.
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