How did you replace the “break” that alcohol gave you?
 

Well it’s that time of the year where the av is coming on strong. Summer weather is already here and I can’t shake the craving to have an ice cold beer and relax.

I think to myself why not have some other cold drink and I realize that the buzz alcohol gives me isn’t just a buzz, it’s an excuse to have a break. It was the same when I smoked cigarettes.

I’m hoping to hear examples of what people did to replace this “break” that alcohol provided. Or if you didn’t do anything, how you began to perceive things that helped you get over it all.

Hi WaterOx, Good for you for being proactive. Hiking/long walks really helped me to get past alcohol. And, they are things I still do on a daily basis. I think it's important to find something that works for you and is fulfilling to you.

I would reflect on the feeling and urge that alcohol was meeting for me (at least temporarily) and looked for some type of alternative.

The urge was usually deeper than I initially thought it was. To use one example, I used to go to the bars and I would think I was missing loud music and camaraderie but it was something deeper than that. What it was for me was is I was using the bar and alcohol as a break from a too heavy work routine so what I was really looking for was a night out with no schedule, unpredictability and the excitement of knowing that anything could happen. Loud music on a jukebox was a part of the scenario and it was something of a trigger but it was more a symbol of a deeper need.

So I would look for sober things I could do that might meet that need. Less work, more relaxing, more open ended outings with people and a recognition that the initial buzz of alcohol was not likely to be entirely recreated because its a substance I was putting in my body to alter my mood. I also wasn't going to get that out of control behavior, lost days, blackouts and awful hangovers either.

What are you taking a "break" from?

After 11 plus years, I no longer get cravings to drink. Truthfully, I have no desire whatsoever to drink. But when I was in early sobriety and got the urge to drink, I'd walk my dogs and by the time we got home, the craving was gone. :)

Beer's about the most unrefreshing drink going. It tastes dreadful and it doesn't nourish you in any way.

I've a box of ice poles in my freezer and the kids have hoovered up the orange, lemon, strawberry, raspberry ones. The only ones left untouched is cola - which is itself a horrible flavour when you extract all the fizzy bubbles. I reckon a flat beer flavoured ice pole would also be awful.

I type this as a beer drinker of 20 years who would drink 40 pints a week.

Exercise is a good stress breaker for me, or a good book, or listening to my favourite album, playing the guitar....

If you keep feeling you need a break, maybe looking at your life and how it plays out is important.
Balance is necessary. Working yourself into the ground helps no one.

D

Hi Water Ox. That’s a great question. Over time I have complied a list of things I can do when I have a desire to drink. Any type of exercise walking, lifting weights, lifecycle, stairs, really any type of movement, seems to make a big difference. Even a few minutes can change my thoughts. Taking a shower, dry brushing my skin, folding laundry, reading, doing anything on my to do list. Anything positive that may make my day even a bit better.

If I’m very low energy I may sit in a quiet place, close my eyes and try to identify if there’s a particular thought or feeling that is causing me discomfort. Let it be, take deep breaths, relax each part of my body and eventually it passes.

There’s always something I can do before giving in to a craving. So far it hasn’t failed.

Books do it for me. Taking time just for you to lose yourself in something. Also, a radio play or series.

I don’t know where to start, WaterOx!

My life now bears no resemblance to the pre-2018 me. Since I quit drinking, so many things have just fallen into place. Yes, I get cravings at times, but once you stay quit, there’s too much to lose. I hope you find an activity to replace the drinking - that’s the key. I mean, where do you go or what do you do when this craving hits? Maybe a sport or a class would take your mind off the craving.

My mate drunk on Saturday nights. He would play football on Saturday, Darts mid-week, Friday was cinema. I never did any of those things as my 'relaxation' was drinking or a better way to put it was my getting away from myself was drinking whereas his was his hobbies. He did his hobbies for no reason other than to get the same 'feeling' i got from my drinking, he didn't want to be the best, lose weight, socialise more etc he just did. So, for me, replacing the drinking was not easy at all and depending on how often you drink will be how hard it is! So in answer to your question how do you take a break? You get hobbies and get smashed once a week/fortnight/month with your mates. How do you take a break when you don't drink anymore is not such an easy answer.

My brain associates warm summer days with wine. I’ve really noticed that lately. It’s my second summer. I don’t ever romanticize though.

to change it I need to choose a new activity that produces good feelings and that I only do on hot summer days. For example, I could do yoga in the nude on my deck ( I have privacy walls lol). It would be scary at first but I know deep down it’s something I want to do. After a summer of that I’m sure my brain will recalibrate:).

I quit drinking right before the pandemic hit in December of 2019. As such I didn't really have a "break" from most things as I was almost completely indoors. I work from home, my mother in law lives with us, and AA got too risky to go to. I started exercising at home and honestly just worked my butt off (I was very fortunate to have a work surplus while millions of others were out of a job). I give a lot of credit for my success to two simple things: The Serenity Prayer, and playing things forward. I used these two things countless number of times in the last year or so. It also helps that my wife decided to quit drinking with me. We had each other to support and talk things through.

edit: I forgot to mention that with more sober time I rekindled my love of playing games on my PC. I built a brand new PC with the money I had saved from weed/booze and get lost in fictional worlds. This has been huge for me as well.

The "break"....
Well, I drank most nights after work. Weekends.
I really had to change my entire waking life.
My "breaks' now involve hot tea, a book, a bath or some other relaxing activity.
When the weekends come I am literally too exhausted to do much. High energy job will do that to a person. So, I read and take naps. Run. Watch a series or a movie.

Im not even sure if the above answers your question....?.....

Primarily activity. I also started playing a video game I used to play online with others. For me, being actively active. Meaning, staying in motion in life. Keeping a full plate has really aided my sobriety.

Exercise is a big one for me, I love to go for walks at the end of the work day. I also stay busy with kid activities. I have been sober for over five ewes now, and honestly do not think about alcohol anymore, I’m not sure when the happened, but it did, and I think it does for most of us. I also find mindfulness to be really helpful, staying grounded in the present moment is something I work hard to do.

I thought I was busy doing "something " when I was drinking but I realized that was an effing lie I was telling myself and so I then switched to doing Nothing [Not drinking] was still doing "something" and life has been great since then.

YMMV

I ask the same question as doggonecarl. What are you taking a "break" from?

I agree with others who said I never romanticize it. Even the term "ice cold beer" would be an issue for me, especially early on - I would instead try to conjure up an image of chugging a desperate room-temperature beer in a vain attempt to stave off yet another hangover!

As far as taking a break, when I was drinking (and for a while after I stopped), I had a "wound up" feeling that was part of a cycle of perfectionism and driving myself to the point of exhaustion, until I could finally "release" it with a drink. Over time, I'm much more even-keeled and less anxious overall, so I don't have as much to unwind FROM, if that makes sense? The extremes have mostly balanced themselves out through sobriety.

This is an ass-backwards perception. Alcohol is not a break from anything. It is an over and over again repetition of addiction, and the monotony of getting drunk over and over again is what you need a break from. The break is sobriety. You get it at rare times when a moment of clarity is possible. But it's a foreign feeling you have become unfamiliar with, and your addiction is making you edgy and irritable. It's screaming, "I need a break from sobriety!" What sobriety? You've only been sober for less than 24 hours and had but one moment of clarity, and your petulant child is having a tantrum because it needs a break?