8 months today
The truth shall set you free
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: United States
Posts: 5,267
8 months today
Hi all
Its been awhile since I last posted. I do come buy and try to keep up with you all. Celebrating my eight months today. Many things have change, I have change. For those who don’t know me I came to this site eight months ago. For over three years I was addicted to pain meds and alcohol. I reach out for help and found this site. Exactly what I needed to connect with other Addicts that know the pain and suffering of addiction. Well it wasn’t long after coming to this site the pieces started falling into place. It was ask of me if I was willing to go to any length for recovery, if I was ready to surrender. Deep inside Yes it was time. I admitted that I was powerless over my addiction, that my life had become unmanageable. Today I am working on the 5 step.
Putting the pieces back together, not in my life but in my mind. In the past I put the pieces together back in my life, only to lose control again. I was sick and tired of having a dysfunctional relationship with my self and that had to change. I know the future is not in my control and I know that I am doing all of the seed planting and footwork that my recovery plan is prompting me to do. I am Free to relax and enjoy life because the Spirit is guiding me. I am passionately Alive in a way that I could never have imagined.
Today I need to be able to recognize what I need to function as a healthy adult, and strive to take care of my basic needs. The program of recovery teaches me to take one-day-at-a-time. That is the only way I can stay focused on the here and now. I can't change the things that happened to me yesterday, and tomorrow is still an unknown. All I have is today that I can actually do anything about.
Recovery is really about getting in touch with myself, which is difficult and sometimes painful. Because in the past I wasn't used to paying attention to my inner self. I learned long ago how to easily bury those feelings. But I count as a person, and so do each and every one of us. We deserve to take good care of ourselves and learn how to feed and nourish that inner self. Taking care of ourselves is a matter of making sure our needs are met, especially emotionally. It's a matter of showing respect to ourselves and letting us feel our feelings so that we can be who we are, instead of what we think other people want us to be.
Working on my 4 step I discovered the void the emptiness in my soul. The emptiness that’s been missing for 32 years. I am learning that I am the one who decides how I feel about myself. And the less I rely on others for it, the better I am able to discover who I really am. I continue my journey on the steps of recovery, I become so much aware of my feelings, my inner strengths and my higher power. The only instruction I need for living a rich life are the 12 Steps. If I live by these one day at a time, I will find peace and serenity within myself.
If you are knew or your coming back to recovery. Discover who you really are. For the folks here at SR thanks for the support you have given me. Though I haven’t post for quite awhile I still come by and catch up on all the miracles. I would like to wish everyone a happy and sober holidays.
Timebuster
Its been awhile since I last posted. I do come buy and try to keep up with you all. Celebrating my eight months today. Many things have change, I have change. For those who don’t know me I came to this site eight months ago. For over three years I was addicted to pain meds and alcohol. I reach out for help and found this site. Exactly what I needed to connect with other Addicts that know the pain and suffering of addiction. Well it wasn’t long after coming to this site the pieces started falling into place. It was ask of me if I was willing to go to any length for recovery, if I was ready to surrender. Deep inside Yes it was time. I admitted that I was powerless over my addiction, that my life had become unmanageable. Today I am working on the 5 step.
Putting the pieces back together, not in my life but in my mind. In the past I put the pieces together back in my life, only to lose control again. I was sick and tired of having a dysfunctional relationship with my self and that had to change. I know the future is not in my control and I know that I am doing all of the seed planting and footwork that my recovery plan is prompting me to do. I am Free to relax and enjoy life because the Spirit is guiding me. I am passionately Alive in a way that I could never have imagined.
Today I need to be able to recognize what I need to function as a healthy adult, and strive to take care of my basic needs. The program of recovery teaches me to take one-day-at-a-time. That is the only way I can stay focused on the here and now. I can't change the things that happened to me yesterday, and tomorrow is still an unknown. All I have is today that I can actually do anything about.
Recovery is really about getting in touch with myself, which is difficult and sometimes painful. Because in the past I wasn't used to paying attention to my inner self. I learned long ago how to easily bury those feelings. But I count as a person, and so do each and every one of us. We deserve to take good care of ourselves and learn how to feed and nourish that inner self. Taking care of ourselves is a matter of making sure our needs are met, especially emotionally. It's a matter of showing respect to ourselves and letting us feel our feelings so that we can be who we are, instead of what we think other people want us to be.
Working on my 4 step I discovered the void the emptiness in my soul. The emptiness that’s been missing for 32 years. I am learning that I am the one who decides how I feel about myself. And the less I rely on others for it, the better I am able to discover who I really am. I continue my journey on the steps of recovery, I become so much aware of my feelings, my inner strengths and my higher power. The only instruction I need for living a rich life are the 12 Steps. If I live by these one day at a time, I will find peace and serenity within myself.
If you are knew or your coming back to recovery. Discover who you really are. For the folks here at SR thanks for the support you have given me. Though I haven’t post for quite awhile I still come by and catch up on all the miracles. I would like to wish everyone a happy and sober holidays.
Timebuster
:heart:
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 72
Thank you so much. Every Inspirational story helps me that much more. I am very happy that you are where you are and have found peace. I am just starting my way there so everytime I see a post like yours I do get a little stronger.
Stay Happy, and Congratulations.
Debby
Stay Happy, and Congratulations.
Debby
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Dubh Linn - Ireland
Posts: 455
8 Months!!!!!!
((((Timebuster)))))
I thought I had posted here to congratulate you already so let me make amends and do it NOW!
CONGRATULATIONS AND THANK YOU FOR SHARING SUCH GOOD NEWS 
I wish you every success with Step 5 too and all the others!!!!
Luvs And Continued Recovery Ama
I thought I had posted here to congratulate you already so let me make amends and do it NOW!
CONGRATULATIONS AND THANK YOU FOR SHARING SUCH GOOD NEWS
I wish you every success with Step 5 too and all the others!!!!
Luvs And Continued Recovery Ama
RE-member- DONT QUIT!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: right where I'm supposed to be
Posts: 348
Hey Timebuster, congrats on the 8 months! I remember back in april when you first posted on SR, I was fairly new to the site then too. Your posts have always been full of meaning and honesty, and have helped me reflect on my own experiences. keep sharing the hope, glad your here 
The truth shall set you free
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: United States
Posts: 5,267
Thanks mnj1024 and to all thank you very much… ((((( Trish )))) How are you!
Today, I understand the disease in a much different light than when I first came through the doors of my first 12 step program 1987.I couldn't grasp the idea that a person who wasn't using, working the program could still be in active addiction through acting on the obsessive and compulsive nature of this disease in other areas of my life.
I thought that clean time equaled recovery. Today, I understand completely that recovery cannot exist without abstinence. However, it took a relapse and 3 years of active addiction for me to understand that before my relapse I was not in recovery simply because I was no longer doing drugs.
I remain in that old addictive pattern of blaming someone or something outside of myself for how I acted and how I felt. From that viewpoint, it seems natural to continue using things outside of me as an excuses for recovery of this disease. And that way of life had to stop.
This way of thinking is at the root of my addiction and I had to surrender if I am to have a chance at true recovery. Recovering is possible only when I work the Steps. For me staying clean and sober is not recovery, working the program is.
Timebuster
Today, I understand the disease in a much different light than when I first came through the doors of my first 12 step program 1987.I couldn't grasp the idea that a person who wasn't using, working the program could still be in active addiction through acting on the obsessive and compulsive nature of this disease in other areas of my life.
I thought that clean time equaled recovery. Today, I understand completely that recovery cannot exist without abstinence. However, it took a relapse and 3 years of active addiction for me to understand that before my relapse I was not in recovery simply because I was no longer doing drugs.
I remain in that old addictive pattern of blaming someone or something outside of myself for how I acted and how I felt. From that viewpoint, it seems natural to continue using things outside of me as an excuses for recovery of this disease. And that way of life had to stop.
This way of thinking is at the root of my addiction and I had to surrender if I am to have a chance at true recovery. Recovering is possible only when I work the Steps. For me staying clean and sober is not recovery, working the program is.
Timebuster
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