kittencat

I drank. A glass of wine Saturday night and more last night. Anxiety, doom and gloom today. [img]blob:https://www.soberrecovery.com/6d7b4c51-9963-4891-8c85-52f926abc75f[/img]

Anna

I'm sorry that you relapsed, Kitten. Do you think you could come up with some ideas to help prevent you from doing this again? I hope you feel better.

advbike

Yes, that's the pattern for me too. Sorry it happened Kitten, but as Anna suggests, find more tools. I find reading and posting here daily keeps me more connected and aware, especially in early days. Making notes that help recall the negatives of drinking, and especially the impact of that first drink - ie. that it's going to lead to more. For me the bad sleep and anxiety is the worst part. Have you joined a class for better reinforcement?

You can do this!

kittencat

Thank you, Anna! x

I know I’ll feel better later today. It’s raining so I’ll just stay in bed with some escape fiction. 😊
I’m grateful that I’m able to do so.

I’m going to do my best to read and post here much more frequently. I’m also going to try therapy for anxiety, hopefully someone that I can meet with weekly.

Anna

That sounds like a good plan, Kitten.

Gabe1980

Oh, I feel for you! I have been there so many times. We just pick ourselves up and try again. Anxiety is so hard to live with and has been the driving force behind my drinking for many years. I recently discovered very long walks! It has been life changing and I think it is a turning point for me. Find something that gives you that release and feeling of peace. Sending love xx

kittencat

Thank you, advbike! x

I just joined the May class. 😊

And yes, the bad sleep and anxiety is the worst part.

kittencat

Thanks,Gabe1980! x

Anxiety is what caused mine too! Long walks are wonderful but I’m stuck inside for the next several months. Heat, humidity and whatever pesticides, fungicides, insecticides the landscapers spray all over kill me. I really don’t like where I live but need to stay here for now as my mother was just moved to long term rehab.

I suppose I should start yoga again. I can do that inside 😊

Jo43

Hi Kitten!

I went through so long of drinking thinking it was helping my anxiety then feeling worse so then drinking again. I was all over the place. I’ve been sober 22 days and even though my anxiety is still shot I know the alcohol makes it worse still! I’m glad you joined the may class I’m in it too! Welcome!!

kittencat

Hi Jo! And thank you! x

Yay for 22 days!


Alcohol has been making my anxiety so much worse for a few years now but I think when I first started drinking it relaxed me. Of course I only drank occasionally then, and I was much younger. Looking back I probably had some social anxiety then but I wasn’t diagnosed. I don’t even know if they diagnosed people with anxiety back in the 80s and 90s!

My thoughts are all scrambled today so I best do more reading and less posting

anxiousrock

I know how that feels. I pray you take it easy on yourself, and just try to find out what went wrong.
The covid anxiety and boredom sure doesn't help, but you can do this

kittencat

Thank you, anxiosrock! x

I am beating myself up today but it’s lessening.

Oh covid. I am worried about it.. is it caused by antigenic drift or shift? We must have had a sunspot peak recently.

kittencat

Ack! Uncle Tupelo’s I got drunk and I fell down is now in my brain. Actually my ex-bfs cover of it. Must listen to something else instead. His cover of it is too “fun”.

* I’m listening to Fleetwood Mac’s chain now. It’ll knock the other one out!

eta: New Order now, that will knock the others out. Or I’ll read a book.

kittencat

No! New Order is my cleaning music. Turning off all music for a book. 😊

Dee74

Have you thought about how you might deal with anxiety without drinking, kittencat?

D

Steely

Exactly how it happens for me too, kitten. One drink, and it's all over bar the counting.

Only solution for me is to not pick up that first drink.

Once that bit sinks in it is so much easier. And so much better.

kittencat

I hope the therapist will help me with that. Antidepressants do nothing for me.

Dee74

Yeah anti depressants help my depression, not my anxiety.

I'm not sure what your therapist will suggest regarding meds or supplements but there are things you can do yourself - right now

https://www.healthline.com/health/me...e-with-anxiety

kittencat

I agree. I have to get to no drink. My boyfriend drinks and as much as I love him unless he stops I will have to leave him.

kittencat

I know! I’m not depressed, I have anxiety. Still I have to see a psychiatrist first before starting therapy. 🙄
For Med management. Every time I’ve gone to a p-doc they just put me on a SSRI and benzodiazepines. The SSRIs just give me crappy side effects and the benzodiazepines work but it’s only because they’re hitting GABA. Like taking a drink. I’m tired of that, I just want the therapist. To talk with the therapist.

Thanks Dee, off to check out your link x