enaiddes

I am a person who sporadically drinks even though, at my age, it’s a disaster for my health and wellbeing. But even more importantly to me is my need for emotional sobriety from anger, irritability, impatience and intolerance. I have come such a long way thanks to my higher power (which in my case is God) and he has made it possible for me to stay emotionally sober a lot of the time, even though when I’m pressed it feels like I’m going to burst from ‘holding my feelings in’ and not acting upon them.

By getting closer to my higher power and material I find here, I am hoping to have a smoother experience of my reaction to triggering situations.

TroubleAfoot

Hi @enaiddes ,

I have only been here a few days and the support is amazing. Alcohol abuse leads to many different problems but you will find there are people here who have had the same ones as you and will share their experiences and lend you help in your journey. And everyone here, no matter what their individual problems are, is under the same umbrella of the self-induced harm we have caused ourselves by being slaves to the bottle.

There are many many good resources here at Sober Recovery (SR). Keep posting and reading. Welcome!

enaiddes

Thank you so much for your kind words. Very encouraging indeed !

TroubleAfoot

Are you wanting to quit drinking? My health, from my drinking, has really taken a nosedive this year. After many open ended attempts, for me, where I was just "taking a break" and never intending to quit forever, I have found that quitting forever is what I actually need to do. Attempts at drinking moderately have never worked out for me much as I tried.

I am only on day 4 of this. My longest, "open ended" streak, was 3 months. It seems more daunting, this time, because there isn't an undetermined, yet still planned, date where I will resume drinking. Not if I can stay strong.

Surrendered19

Welcome enaiddes. You don't have to be an all day every day drinker to come to the healthy realization that alcohol causes you problems. It is great you see that. Are you thinking it is perhaps time to stop altogether? If sporadic drinking nevertheless wreaks havoc on your health and well-being, leave it behind you is my advice.

Many many people who are addicts struggle with anger, irritability and impatience. It is very common among folks here on this site. I am not a believer in any sort of god figure, but I do completely buy into the notion that we all do so much better when we have a handle on the things that make us angry and impatient. I think you are wise to seek emotional sobriety. Life can be so much more quiet and peaceful that we make it sometimes.

Giving up drinking and being in recovery really allowed me for the first time in my life to right-size my reactions to things that happen in all of our lives. I can deal with something now with a quick laugh that, during my life of drinking, would have caused me to light the drunken flame-thrower and lay waste to the countryside.

Again, welcome to SR.

least

Welcome to the family! We're glad to have you join us.

I got sober for good over 11 yrs ago and it's the best thing I ever did for myself. My life is so much better and I wake up feeling grateful and happy, not hating myself and depressed.

There's a lot of support here. Take advantage of it and use our support to help you stay sober for good.

enaiddes

Thank you so much Surrendered 19 and yes, I absolutely have to leave alcohol behind because of the threat to my fragile health. I also absolutely have to stop reacting to situations that trigger me. I’m bipolar and in treatment for it but there’s nobody except myself policing my behavior towards other’s who get to me.

Love that term “right-size” - I will try to take that with me every day. And it’s also important for me to see that these type of insulting things happen to everybody, not just to me.

Your ending was funny and clever and made me laugh. Thanks again.

Anna

Welcome enaiddes, I'm glad you found us. I know you will find yourself more calm and better able to deal with triggering situations. Recovery has helped my behaviour towards myself and towards others. It's a very freeing feeling.

enaiddes

So sorry to hear about your health. This is serious to be sure. But the sunny side of this situation is that you may, because of it, be empowered to quit altogether. I know I have to because the effect on my health is scary.

I am absolutely unable to stop myself from having multiple drinks if I have the first one. You are probably learning this about yourself as well.

Very, very best of luck to you and thank you for responding to my post.

enaiddes

Thank you Anna. Your message was sweet and to the point. I’m also glad I found this site. I’ve been searching.

Hevyn

Hello, enaiddes - it's wonderful to meet you. I felt lost and all alone before finding SR. I didn't know what to expect when I first signed on, but soon found it to be a comfortable & encouraging place to talk things over. I think you'll feel the same.
Congratulations on your decision to make this important change in your life. We're here to help.

TroubleAfoot

Alright then! Welcome aboard! We will help you. You will help us. We are all in this together. Reading other peoples' stories, and sharing yours, helps to remind us why we don't want to drink anymore.

TroubleAfoot

Thank you! Perhaps "nosedive" is a bit of an exaggeration but both my kidneys hurt, my liver hurts, and my feet really hurt from what I think is neuropathy. I had all of these problems before but, when I quit for 3 months late last year, they all went away. Then I started drinking again and they all came back. I'm just hoping they go away again, this time, and that I haven't crossed into some territory where I may have caused permanent damage.

enaiddes

Good lord, I hope so too ! I guess your nickname here is very appropriate for you. I’ll say a prayer but you are definitely being called upon to stay away from alcohol - permanently, just like me. Your body is speaking to you in a very vivid way and I hope you will respond lovingly towards yourself. We need to stop this crazy self harm !

Dee74

Welcome enaiddes

It's never too late to turn things around - I'm glad you've found us!

D

DriGuy

I'd bet everyone of us in this forum tried to drink in moderation at some point. And there are those, like me, who even considered not drinking at all, except on rare occasions. It's the first thing I tried to do, because giving it up completely seemed like a sacrifice too big to make. But believing a full life requires at least a bit of alcohol is a false perception, but you only learn that after you give it up completely and get a taste of how rich and fulfilling a totally alcohol free life can be.

But giving it up totally is not some goal for down the road. We ended up quitting for good, because it's the only thing that worked. This is because alcoholism is for life. You don't have to be a drunk for life, but if you are an alcoholic, one drink, no matter how many years you have been sober leads you right back to your addiction. You may be able to pull it off the first time you try it, and encouraged by your success you will try it again, and a week later you are right back where you started.

Depressing as that is, not drinking again allows you to lead a completely normal life, a life where your next thought is NOT thinking about how nice it would be to have that next drink. The urges go away, and you won't be obsessively nagged by that voice in your head. You are free to do anything, except taking a drink. And it is freedom. You will recognize that when you get there.

Mizz

Emotions can be intoxicating for sure. We all gravitate towards certain emotions frequently and gaining a level of control over those emotions is very hard work. It is good when we become aware of how we are behaving and what emotions tend to rule us. I think the awareness is half the battle.

A lot of people, alcoholics or not, walk through life with intolerance, quick to anger, quick to sadness or blame etc. After a few months of being sober I was able to recognize the emotions that I gravitate to and operate from. I work diligently to not let others behaviors affect my emotions but I am human and therefore am not perfect on this quest.

The past few days have been a very vigorous exercise of controlling my inner world and keeping my head level. I am busy at my work and at those times my emotions are more on the surface. Thankfully I have another day of being sober and another day to work on my inner state. I am very grateful for that. Grateful for the gift of sobriety and the work that sobriety allows us to take on. Welcome!

enaiddes

Gee, I thought I had replied to your post but I dont see it here in the thread. So thank you. I also feel completely alone because there’s no one in my apartment block who shares my mentality or situation or life experience. They’re all different from me and if they have problems they hide them well. I guess I do too though. Anyway I’m seeking emotional sobriety and sobriety from alcohol. I think I’m in the right place here.

enaiddes

It’s so good to be reminded of the 'one drink’ danger for an alcoholic. I am also trying for emotional sobriety from anger and irritability and, just like with alcohol, I cannot afford the luxury of 'one angry word' because it greases the way for worse episodes. Other people without my problem may be able to express anger without it being a slipper slope but I can’t.

Thanks so much for your reminder !

enaiddes

What a wonderful post. I am so happy for your current status quo in which you get to work on yourself vigorously because that’s what it takes and what I strive for. You seem to have a really good understanding of your inner dynamics and I kind of envy that because I dont really have it - I just work on controlling myself but I dont at all fully understand my triggers. Maybe I can start paying attention to that. God knows my therapist tries to get me to focus on it !

I’ve come quite a way from those times when I used to scare myself but there is always the threat of me speaking out of turn which in itself is not a bad thing - just a human thing. But for me I cant afford it because it feeds the inner monster and makes her stronger !