Day 11 - support from another drinker after son blackmailed me (again)
 

Day 11 - so my son blackmailed me and sent an email from a new account ( I’d blocked him from others) saying he would send my friend pictures of me drunk - I’m sure he wanted money for not sending them That is his usual ruse which sadly I have given into before . .. but my friend is in recovery and supported ME and told him to leave me alone as it was abuse. I was super grateful for her response. Hopefully that is the end of it but I fear not !

He's getting desperate Ican. Stamps his feet because you've blocked him, not liking that you are starting to assert yourself. This is the time you need to remain firm. I'm glad you had your friend with you for support.

Does this latest behaviour contravene the Orders made? Blackmail is a crime. One of the lowest.

Dont give in Ican, it will get neither of you anywhere, and probably wont be the end of it until he sees you mean it, or feels the consequences. He will take you for everything otherwise, and not only money. What a little prat.

Congratulations on 11 days.

Thank you Steely. You’re right. I needed to hear that !

Yeah, it's important for you to hold firm now, ICan. I'm sorry he's still harassing you.

I know he ‘s your son, butI think you should report it ICDT. You went to court to stop this.
This is not OK behaviour.

D

That's OK Ican. Believe it or not I am going through similar with my daughter.

She has mental illness and has not stopped 'harassing' me for months. Seventy two phone calls in one day. Kicked off again this morning. Aaarrrggghhh! I have been trying to help and support for years to no avail. Can't do it anymore, I'm getting sick. She cannot see this.

I've only just taken up on support from a 'carer support agency' and it's been really helpful. The advice I'm getting is to 'step back' no matter how painful. She has to take responsibility eventually. Maybe she won't? I just don't know. I care, and it is so very difficult. :(

Whatever the case, whatever I'm doing now is not working, and nothing will change, if I don't change.

We've got to hold the line Ican. And we will.

Standing by you.

Edit: I wanted to respond earlier, but the phone was ringing. Lol

I’m sorry to hear that dear Steely. My heart goes out to you. EVERYONE tells me to step back so it must be the right thing to do even though it’s so hard ! Happy to support you - were in this together !

We are, mate. We are. Sick of crying.

We can do this.

And we're sober.

Sorry to hear Steely, after all you have done for her. You are such a rock, so supportive of others, and so wise. Please take care of yourself.

ICDT, just don't respond to his threats, then they will become of no value to him. So what if he shows pics around? LOL. That was the old you.

Thanks advbike.

Think I'm only starting to wise up now. Lol

sorry you're going through this Steely.

D

So sorry this continues, Icandothis and Steely. I don't have kids and usually easily say I won't take any kind of abuse from anyone, but of course it's different with one's own children, especially if it's driven by mental illness and other things outside of everyone's control. I imagine nothing is more difficult than going no contact with your kids, but would agree it's probably the only constructive solution while they are in these phases. As for blackmailing and other threats, if I had to respond somehow because they call from an anonymous number or something, I would probably just hang up or perhaps say I would report to the police if they don't stop, although not sure the latter is helpful with someone who is not in touch with reality as they probably already experience paranoia and that's what drives the behavior in part. It is incredibly sad and hopeless, but not worth letting them drag you down with their misery and agitation.

[QUOTE=Steely;7630395]He's getting desperate Ican. Stamps his feet because you've blocked him, not liking that you are starting to assert yourself. This is the time you need to remain firm. I'm glad you had your friend with you for support.

Does this latest behaviour contravene the Orders made? Blackmail is a crime. One of the lowest.

Dont give in Ican, it will get neither of you anywhere, and probably wont be the end of it until he sees you mean it, or feels the consequences. He will take you for everything otherwise, and not only money. What a little prat.

Congratulations on 11 days.[/QUTE]