Checking in — it’s been a while.
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 771
Checking in — it’s been a while.
I wanted to check in when I hit 2 years but didn’t get to it, then I thought about it again when I recently turned 50, but I was pretty busy, so I’m doing it now. Over a year ago, I posted this:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/445950-thinking-about-going-back-work-don-t-want-fall-back-into-old-habits-though.html (Thinking about going back to work. Don’t want to fall back into old habits though.)
And although I was worried about finding myself in another toxic work environment, I’m happy to say that I am in a situation in which I absolutely love my job. (Teaching high school English)
It’s actually kind of amazing to me. It’s stressful, but not because I’m surrounded by toxicity; it’s because I’m really passionate about what I’m doing and care so much about doing a good job. Drinking is the last thing on my mind because there’s no way I could give 100% at work if I had booze in my system.
And you know what’s nice? Not feeling like an imposter. I recently got a bit of recognition for my efforts, and instead of feeling embarrassed, I thought, “yeah, that’s because I work my tail off.”
Anyway, I don’t post a lot lately, but I just wanted to let y’all know that I’m happy and have you guys to thank. I think the thing that helped me most is what Dee has said on several occasions about creating a life that you love. For some reason that sunk in like nothing else, and it became sort of like a mantra. I visualized myself working in a rewarding job, being there for my family, doing fun things on the weekends, being the best version of myself. I had a fully formed picture in my mind of what I “a life that I love” would look like.
And I took a leap of faith, knowing that the good folks on this forum aren’t lying. I believed 100% that if I could hang in long enough, things would get better. In most ways things are better, sometimes on ways I hadn’t even imagined. Of course it’s not all unicorns and rainbows — sometimes things suck. But overall, I know I have what it takes to get through whatever happens. Sober life is pretty good.
edit: not sure why everything is underlined, I guess because I linked to an old post? Oh well.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/445950-thinking-about-going-back-work-don-t-want-fall-back-into-old-habits-though.html (Thinking about going back to work. Don’t want to fall back into old habits though.)
And although I was worried about finding myself in another toxic work environment, I’m happy to say that I am in a situation in which I absolutely love my job. (Teaching high school English)
It’s actually kind of amazing to me. It’s stressful, but not because I’m surrounded by toxicity; it’s because I’m really passionate about what I’m doing and care so much about doing a good job. Drinking is the last thing on my mind because there’s no way I could give 100% at work if I had booze in my system.
And you know what’s nice? Not feeling like an imposter. I recently got a bit of recognition for my efforts, and instead of feeling embarrassed, I thought, “yeah, that’s because I work my tail off.”
Anyway, I don’t post a lot lately, but I just wanted to let y’all know that I’m happy and have you guys to thank. I think the thing that helped me most is what Dee has said on several occasions about creating a life that you love. For some reason that sunk in like nothing else, and it became sort of like a mantra. I visualized myself working in a rewarding job, being there for my family, doing fun things on the weekends, being the best version of myself. I had a fully formed picture in my mind of what I “a life that I love” would look like.
And I took a leap of faith, knowing that the good folks on this forum aren’t lying. I believed 100% that if I could hang in long enough, things would get better. In most ways things are better, sometimes on ways I hadn’t even imagined. Of course it’s not all unicorns and rainbows — sometimes things suck. But overall, I know I have what it takes to get through whatever happens. Sober life is pretty good.
edit: not sure why everything is underlined, I guess because I linked to an old post? Oh well.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,157
You are in a very good place. I'm impressed by your dedication to your job and your life. Pride in those areas are powerful mechanisms. I'm sitting here unable to imagine any slips and relapses in your future, but don't stay away on account of that. I like reading about success.
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