Feeling like I am running on empty!
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Originally Posted by fishkiller 
Thanks for posting first!
I don't remember anyone saying it would be easy.
I do remember plenty telling me it will get Easier.
They were not lying.
Come on Man! Hang in there!
I don't remember anyone saying it would be easy.
I do remember plenty telling me it will get Easier.
They were not lying.
Come on Man! Hang in there!
You've come so far, you can't give in now. Member
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Originally Posted by Dee74
Hey AD42L 
Don’t let yourself be talked out of the game man All you need to do is keep doing what you been doing for the last 30 days.
A month sober is a little miracle and you’ve done it. Like FK says it does get easier...don’t let yourself be hoodwinked by self doubt.
You can do this because you’re already doing it!
D
Don’t let yourself be talked out of the game man
All you need to do is keep doing what you been doing for the last 30 days.A month sober is a little miracle and you’ve done it. Like FK says it does get easier...don’t let yourself be hoodwinked by self doubt.
You can do this because you’re already doing it!
D
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Originally Posted by Hevyn
adrunk - I remember feeling just that way in the early days. I was up & down for a while - even though I was very grateful to be alcohol free.
There were times when I felt sorry for myself - resented my situation. Then times I'd be so grateful to be rebuilding my life. Eventually the down times disappeared all together. You're getting used to a whole new way of living - be patient with yourself.
Congratulations on your 32 days sober. We know how hard you worked to get there - you're doing great.
There were times when I felt sorry for myself - resented my situation. Then times I'd be so grateful to be rebuilding my life. Eventually the down times disappeared all together. You're getting used to a whole new way of living - be patient with yourself.
Congratulations on your 32 days sober. We know how hard you worked to get there - you're doing great.
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Originally Posted by biminiblue
I'm sorry, but I had to laugh at the thought that alcohol would give me more stamina or energy or help my sleep.
Completely the opposite. Sucked the life right out of me other than that one hour when I first started drinking.
The suggestions above about food and exercise are spot on.
Food gives me energy and exercise increases my stamina and helps me sleep.
Completely the opposite. Sucked the life right out of me other than that one hour when I first started drinking.
The suggestions above about food and exercise are spot on.
Food gives me energy and exercise increases my stamina and helps me sleep.
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Originally Posted by Steely
I think you are looking for reason to drink adrunk42long. And that's pretty normal at 32 days.
You'll have less stamina and energy if you pick up is all I can say. I've been there myself.
If you remain sober you will eventually reach a point where stamina is no longer needed, and will accept gratefully the peace sobriety offers. Don't fight it, accept instead. Gosh, what did it ever give you, but regret and pain?
You will get there.
You'll have less stamina and energy if you pick up is all I can say. I've been there myself.
If you remain sober you will eventually reach a point where stamina is no longer needed, and will accept gratefully the peace sobriety offers. Don't fight it, accept instead. Gosh, what did it ever give you, but regret and pain?
You will get there.
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Originally Posted by RecklessDrunk
Sometimes exercise is the best medicine in these cases. Push the body and then get much of that ease and comfort naturally. You can find much of that ease and comfort without touching alcohol. At least for me exercise seems to help with sleep, anxiety, depression.
I think much of what we want deep down is serenity, ease & comfort. Trouble is that from drinking for so long our minds get conditioned, polluted into that association of drink with a feeling of ease and comfort. We need to retrain the mind into finding this in other ways.
I think much of what we want deep down is serenity, ease & comfort. Trouble is that from drinking for so long our minds get conditioned, polluted into that association of drink with a feeling of ease and comfort. We need to retrain the mind into finding this in other ways.
serenity, ease & comfort I totally agree!
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Feeling wiped out may just be something that was going to happen anyway. Even in my prime, I had that feeling from time to time. I really doubt that the absence of alcohol in your system is the cause. Sometimes we just have days that are below par. Of course your AV is going to jump on this with the clever idea of what you need is a drink. Disregard him. He's an idiot.
RecklessDrunk suggested getting some exercise, and I think you should try that. I can't certify this, but it worked often for myself. You're going resist because it's counter intuitive. After all, you are running on empty so you need to rest, right? Not necessarily, I have found. The human body always has load of energy in reserve, and you can tap it. What happens for me when I go for a hike, is not that I come back all invigorated looking for an alligator to wrestle. Not at all, I'm usually tired, but it's a different tired that being wiped out. It's a good sit down kind of tired. But the big payoff, if you can understand this, is a secondary benefit; It took my mind off of the bottle, maybe just for an hour, but it extends beyond the actual walk itself. It makes it easier to do something other than sit there listening to your AV jabbering at you, and it may have given you some time to think about how have just been sitting there in a pointless funk of self pity. That's a rude slap in the face, but sometimes you need that.
RecklessDrunk suggested getting some exercise, and I think you should try that. I can't certify this, but it worked often for myself. You're going resist because it's counter intuitive. After all, you are running on empty so you need to rest, right? Not necessarily, I have found. The human body always has load of energy in reserve, and you can tap it. What happens for me when I go for a hike, is not that I come back all invigorated looking for an alligator to wrestle. Not at all, I'm usually tired, but it's a different tired that being wiped out. It's a good sit down kind of tired. But the big payoff, if you can understand this, is a secondary benefit; It took my mind off of the bottle, maybe just for an hour, but it extends beyond the actual walk itself. It makes it easier to do something other than sit there listening to your AV jabbering at you, and it may have given you some time to think about how have just been sitting there in a pointless funk of self pity. That's a rude slap in the face, but sometimes you need that.
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I went to bed early for the first month due to being overly stimulated and exhausted.
I now go to bed early because Im on an early morning rise schedule and sleep comes around 8 pm or 9.
Stay the course. Honor every part of yourself. Mental, emotional, physical and spiritual.
Im so glad you made it through. Sometimes a pizza and cookies are all a person really needs.
I ate pie last night and drank lemonade. It was AMAZING!
I now go to bed early because Im on an early morning rise schedule and sleep comes around 8 pm or 9.
Stay the course. Honor every part of yourself. Mental, emotional, physical and spiritual.
Im so glad you made it through. Sometimes a pizza and cookies are all a person really needs.
I ate pie last night and drank lemonade. It was AMAZING!
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Good Morning!
Does anyone else here have a hard time remembering how miserable you were when you were drinking?
I swear I have developed a horrible case of amnesia since becoming sober!
I begged on my hands and knees for sobriety 30 days ago but how quickly I forget the depth of despair and misery I was in!
Does anyone else here have a hard time remembering how miserable you were when you were drinking?
I swear I have developed a horrible case of amnesia since becoming sober!
I begged on my hands and knees for sobriety 30 days ago but how quickly I forget the depth of despair and misery I was in!
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Originally Posted by adrunk42long
Good Morning!
Does anyone else here have a hard time remembering how miserable you were when you were drinking?
I swear I have developed a horrible case of amnesia since becoming sober!
I begged on my hands and knees for sobriety 30 days ago but how quickly I forget the depth of despair and misery I was in!
Does anyone else here have a hard time remembering how miserable you were when you were drinking?
I swear I have developed a horrible case of amnesia since becoming sober!
I begged on my hands and knees for sobriety 30 days ago but how quickly I forget the depth of despair and misery I was in!
"The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink."
You can't rely on remembering how bad you felt when you decided to quit.
You just have to remember, "I don't drink anymore." Period.
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Originally Posted by doggonecarl
From the Big Book of AA
"The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink."
You can't rely on remembering how bad you felt when you decided to quit.
You just have to remember, "I don't drink anymore." Period.
"The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink."
You can't rely on remembering how bad you felt when you decided to quit.
You just have to remember, "I don't drink anymore." Period.
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Me personally, no. But from the beginning I have made it a point to never forget. I knew the addiction would try to tell me it wasn't that bad. I knew if I gave it a voice I would fail. Playing it forward helped me when the AV tried to romanticize drinking.
Like you, when I came here I wanted to be sober more than anything in the world. I have tried hard not to forget that either.
Even still, like Carl said, if one day I do forget how miserable I was and lose sight of how awesome it is to be writing this without nausea, dry mouth, headache and shaking like a leaf in a hurricane it won't matter because I do not drink anymore.
Don't let this freak you out. It's all normal. The addiction is fighting to win back power. Remember, You are Now in control. Sometimes it may not feel like it but you have over a month clean and that tells me different.
Like you, when I came here I wanted to be sober more than anything in the world. I have tried hard not to forget that either.
Even still, like Carl said, if one day I do forget how miserable I was and lose sight of how awesome it is to be writing this without nausea, dry mouth, headache and shaking like a leaf in a hurricane it won't matter because I do not drink anymore.
Don't let this freak you out. It's all normal. The addiction is fighting to win back power. Remember, You are Now in control. Sometimes it may not feel like it but you have over a month clean and that tells me different.
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I can relate, I always found that after the first month I had begun to forget some of the pain and romanticise about drinking. It is all lies though. I have just been through it all again and there is nothing there but pain. If you are tired then just try to rest, eat some nice food and do things that help distract you and lift your mood.
You can do it.....you are doing it!
You can do it.....you are doing it!
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Posts: 743
Think the drink through.
What good is a couple of drinks? The ease and comfort isn't the end, its only the beginning of something terrible. Its like the few seconds of a roller coaster ride going up the first hill. How slow it moves.
Then what after those few drinks? Its locking yourself right back in the prison of king alcohol. At that point you have to continue to serve king alcohol. You may even hear a clank if you listen closely. The allergy we have opens the obsession right up. The obsession absolutely consumes the mind at that point.
The next day the alcohol does what it is actually meant for. Its a depressant it depresses you. It just takes 12 hours or so to really work its way through the body and fill the blood and organs and even the soul with poison.
This assumes you didn't get arrested or anything.
Its not like the obsession is some simple linear function either. Logically if its your first drink in a while it should keep the obsession quiet for a while. This isn't straight logic though. Its not all powerful its "subtly " powerful. Once you feed that obsession that brief ease and comfort is so fresh in the mind. That obsession will strengthen tremendously.
On the flip side over time the obsession will weaken. Even on the weakening side it doesn't go down the same amount every day. Some days the obsession will blip up back up. Some are going to feel a stronger obsession on day 21 then they did on day 20. It does trend down though. Like the opposite of normal a stock graph. A stock that goes from 50 to 62 in a year doesn't go up one dollar each month. It may have closed at 57 in June and 56 in July and 59 in August. When you feel the obsession strengthen a little bit in the short term its just the short term, just a brief sell off.
What good is a couple of drinks? The ease and comfort isn't the end, its only the beginning of something terrible. Its like the few seconds of a roller coaster ride going up the first hill. How slow it moves.
Then what after those few drinks? Its locking yourself right back in the prison of king alcohol. At that point you have to continue to serve king alcohol. You may even hear a clank if you listen closely. The allergy we have opens the obsession right up. The obsession absolutely consumes the mind at that point.
The next day the alcohol does what it is actually meant for. Its a depressant it depresses you. It just takes 12 hours or so to really work its way through the body and fill the blood and organs and even the soul with poison.
This assumes you didn't get arrested or anything.
Its not like the obsession is some simple linear function either. Logically if its your first drink in a while it should keep the obsession quiet for a while. This isn't straight logic though. Its not all powerful its "subtly " powerful. Once you feed that obsession that brief ease and comfort is so fresh in the mind. That obsession will strengthen tremendously.
On the flip side over time the obsession will weaken. Even on the weakening side it doesn't go down the same amount every day. Some days the obsession will blip up back up. Some are going to feel a stronger obsession on day 21 then they did on day 20. It does trend down though. Like the opposite of normal a stock graph. A stock that goes from 50 to 62 in a year doesn't go up one dollar each month. It may have closed at 57 in June and 56 in July and 59 in August. When you feel the obsession strengthen a little bit in the short term its just the short term, just a brief sell off.
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
Originally Posted by adrunk42long
Good Morning!
Does anyone else here have a hard time remembering how miserable you were when you were drinking?
I swear I have developed a horrible case of amnesia since becoming sober!
I begged on my hands and knees for sobriety 30 days ago but how quickly I forget the depth of despair and misery I was in!
Does anyone else here have a hard time remembering how miserable you were when you were drinking?
I swear I have developed a horrible case of amnesia since becoming sober!
I begged on my hands and knees for sobriety 30 days ago but how quickly I forget the depth of despair and misery I was in!
At first, fear of alcohol drove my sobriety, and I saw it as a plus. Then it started to disappear the way all emotions do, and then I started to fear that I would lose my motivation for sobriety, so in a brief (maybe day long) mental scramble I realized that I would always have one tool to keep my sobriety. That was my power of choice. And power of choice, while plain and unemotional, seems to be a quiet but unstoppable power that is far more effective than fear or any other emotion (romancing the drink). We all have choice, and it's simple to use when combined with logical thought. I think "playing it forward" may be much the same thing. If "playing it forward" doesn't work for you, think "making logical choices." I'm guessing they are the same. Don't complicate the choice. There are only two choices to choose from. Take the drink or don't. It's very simple, and keep the AV out of it. It will try to make the choice into some big deal of monumental confusion.
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I once had a hard time remembering the misery caused by drinking - but that was in the early days of my drinking career.
By the time I came to SR I had successfully ruined people's trust in me, embarrassed & humiliated myself, become the proud owner of 2 dui's, put myself in terrible debt, the list goes on. Because of the reckless way I'd been living it was impossible for me to forget the hell I'd put myself & others through. To this day I can't believe what I allowed to happen. You'd never want to reach that point, AD.
By the time I came to SR I had successfully ruined people's trust in me, embarrassed & humiliated myself, become the proud owner of 2 dui's, put myself in terrible debt, the list goes on. Because of the reckless way I'd been living it was impossible for me to forget the hell I'd put myself & others through. To this day I can't believe what I allowed to happen. You'd never want to reach that point, AD.
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The first time I got sober, I came to be careless and forgot how miserable I was and some of the awful things I did. 
This time it's different. The memory of how horrible I felt waking up after two days of drinking is still vivid over 11 yrs later. Maybe cause I'm older now. I don't know. I just know that, like Carl said, I don't worry about it because I don't drink anymore.
This time it's different. The memory of how horrible I felt waking up after two days of drinking is still vivid over 11 yrs later. Maybe cause I'm older now. I don't know. I just know that, like Carl said, I don't worry about it because I don't drink anymore.
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Ive been sober on and off for over a decade. Lots of "forgetting" about the reasons I quit.
This sober time is different. I cant forget how miserable I was. I don't think about it daily, the misery, but I worked extremely hard to get myself out of the suffering I was in. I had never been to that depth of my own personal hell before.
There is no romanticizing left for me. I ran my course with that.
Keep talking about it. Keep working with positive life affirming actions. Posting. Staying close. You are changing your life.
This sober time is different. I cant forget how miserable I was. I don't think about it daily, the misery, but I worked extremely hard to get myself out of the suffering I was in. I had never been to that depth of my own personal hell before.
There is no romanticizing left for me. I ran my course with that.
Keep talking about it. Keep working with positive life affirming actions. Posting. Staying close. You are changing your life.
Sober Date: March 10, 2013
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Originally Posted by DriGuy
Of course your AV is going to jump on this with the clever idea of what you need is a drink. Disregard him. He's an idiot.
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