furelite

What is the first thing you do when you go on a “diet”? For me, it was to identify all the food I was going to eliminate (can’t have it!) and make a list of all the food I was going to incorporate instead. Then, I would excitedly go to the store and buy all of my allowed food items and gleefully plan meals. The problem with this, and with “diets” in general (in my opinion), is that simply the concept of “being on a diet” shifts all of your attention to food. Constantly thinking about food, planning the meals, making the meals, eating the meals. When your world revolves around this, you are destined to fail because all you do is think about food! The focus shifts to food, what I can or can’t have, and there is a battle of wills. Forbidden food looks so tempting when I tell myself I “can’t” have it. When I finally removed the concept of “diet” from my world, I stopped focusing on food and instead focused on the goals I had for myself which were to be healthy, look good, feel good and be able to participate in whatever physical activity I wanted. I now “eat to live” and do not “live to eat”. I evaluate my food choices on the benefits that they will bring me and how they support my long-term goals. I stopped desiring the unhealthy choices that were great in the moment but not so great in the after-moment, as they did nothing for me other than sabotage my goals and make me feel sad and depressed later. As a consequence, I have been at my optimal weight for over 5 years.



Perhaps alcohol is similar. Sure, it tastes good and is fun at the time of consumption, but what is the result? A nasty taste in the mouth at 3:00 a.m., a sleepless night with sweats and palpitations, depression and anxiety, regret and shame, and a less than wonderful morning (or day) to follow. Do I really want to enjoy a few hours tonight and ruin my entire day tomorrow? Focusing on “not drinking” seems like deprivation. But, if I focus on my personal goals instead, I can push my temporary cravings aside. I read somewhere about “playing the tape forward”. This is most helpful. Which version of the tape do I want to play tomorrow? The one where I am hungover and filled with regret? Or the one where I am living my best life. My goals are to sleep well and wake up refreshed and without a hangover, to make the most of my days and to improve (or maintain) my health. Without that drink, I know that tomorrow I can get up and go for my walk….enjoy hearing the birds sing. I can meet a friend for lunch and actually have a good time without a nagging headache or queasy stomach. I can go outside and work in the yard and make it look just the way I want to. I can go to work and be on my best game. I can play with my pets, practice my instruments….all kinds of things! Things I won’t do, or won’t do well or happily….if I have that drink tonight. If I can look at that drink and think “yeah it would be fun now, but what about tomorrow?” and specifically REMEMBER how ****** it will make me feel later….I can push those temptations aside. That drink does not support my goals.

Dee74

I had to focus on more than just not drinking. My addiction was a problem, but not my only problem - which is why the 'diet' approach did not work for me - it had to be a permanent lifestyle change along with other aims of self improvement and healing

D