CBS62

I have not told anyone but close family and friends that I quit drinking in December. I started tapering down in September 2020. I have lost 30 pounds. Today I am going to play tennis with some people I have not seen in 6 months or more. Not sure what to say if they ask how I lost the weight. Should I be honest and say I quit drinking or what? I have not had to face many people but family and close friends due to the pandemic and working from home. I am a little nervous about it.

Mizz

This is a wonderful opportunity. You can say that you decided to make a few changes in your life and got your health back on track.
Your decision to quit drinking is your business and you get the chose what you tell people about yourself.

Have fun!

DriGuy

Like Mizz says, it's your business. Me? I would tell them. You did an important and respectable thing. You are changing your life. But don't expect support from everyone. I got varying responses from, "Hey, that's great!" to, "Why did you do that?" to, "Yeah, we'll see you back at the bar in a few months." to, "So what!" Quitting is very personal, and your reasons and feelings about it are the ones that really matter.

Having said that, "I'm really happy for you. You should be proud."

Bonniefloyd

You can tell them whatever you want. If you’re uncomfortable mentioning alcohol, you can just say you’ve been working out and watching your diet.

Personally, I’m more than happy to tell people. Only certain close friends know about my past drinking issues, and for everyone else I just tell them I don’t drink anymore. No one seems that interested in why because it really isn’t that interesting.

But if people were to ask why I don’t drink, I wouldn’t feel the need to explain myself in any lengthy or overly personal way. After all, alcohol is bad for people, and everyone — whether alcoholics or not — is better off without it. I don’t need to explain why I don’t want toxins in my body. :-)

Anna

Recovery is very personal for me, so I seldom talk about it. You should not feel obligated to offer any explanation as to why you stopped drinking or lost weight. If you choose to talk about it, it should be up to you, not pressure from questions. It depends what you are comfortable with.

biminiblue

Is quitting drinking the only reason you lost the weight? I mean, did you change other things too? More vegetables and more exercise always is a conversation killer,


I lost about 70 pounds over a decade ago. People asked me all the time how I did it. I said, "Counting calories and exercise." Every time I said diet and exercise they just said, "Oh." I don't think it was controversial enough or something.

I don't talk at length about weight loss or quitting drinking with casual acquaintances. Up to you, though. If it were someone I used to drink with, I'd just tell them I'd had enough and quit.

fishkiller

Don't be nervous. Tell them whatever you want. Or tell them nothing.
like others have said they really don't care we quit drinking.

CBS62

So tennis was so fun. It felt great to be out there. I hadn't played in a long time for many reasons, I didn't feel well thanks to PAWS, the pandemic and my balance/dizziness issue that is still with me (and I guess is explained by PAWS). A few people asked how I lost the weight and I just told them I gave up wine. They were astounded. They said I looked great and that was that.

I lost the weight partly from not drinking and also because PAWS gave me nausea and lack of appetite for months. I had weight to lose and feel I am at a good weight now. Hopefully, I can keep it off. I am so hungry now though its remarkable. My body is like "you starved me for months now feed me please". I am so grateful to be enjoying food again and cooking.

sortofhomecomin

A man on a Lifering meeting yesterday had a good way of dealing with this.

He was recently at a social outing for a business group he is a member of. Someone noticed that he was drinking mineral water and asked him if he had always been a 'a pioneer'. ('pioneer' used in this context is an Irish expression for life long teetotaller). He replied by saying that he had noticed a few years' back that his wine habit was extending into weekday nights as well as weekends, and he made the decision to stop drinking entirely. He didn't say anything about being in rehab or Lifering, but he didn't tell any lies either.

least

If anyone asks me why I look different, I just say that I quit drinking and eat better now and walk a lot. It's totally up to you what you tell anyone. If anyone asks me why I quit drinking, I just say it was bad for my health and generally that's the end of it.

ciowa

I put it out there on social media that I was in recovery after a year. Its up to us if we want others to know. I wanted people to know that I had quit so they knew I was in a different place then i was when I was in a downward drinking spiral. I didnt want people to think i was doing the same things, being unreliable, ghosting, and all that. Thats the main reason I told others.

venuscat

I am wondering Iove if you are worried due to 'the shame' of this that can be so Ioud in our heads....weII, I do not think shame needs to go hand in hand with any substance abuse disorders in our worId today. PeopIe are more enIightened. At Ieast some of them.

The 'what wiII peopIe think of me if they find out' feeIing....I get that.
But I am betting that the peeps in your Iife wiII just be supportive and proud of you.....if you choose to teII them.

And Iook....you did....you toId them you quit wine and the sky didn't faII in. No one judged you or put a big scarlet A on your chest.

We can aII be proud of ourseIves....it takes a Iot of courage and commitment to do this.

ReaIIy happy you had fun today dear CBS xx ❤️

Dropsie

Everyone I tell that I don't drink anymore is dead impressed, usually followed by I could never do that. Often there is a small confession of their own drinking concerns followed by a new topic.
Anyone I know well enough to have the convo probably also knows that my stopping drinking was a good idea, but we never go there.

Grateful09

So glad everything went well for you CBS62! I really appreciate how you handled that. I have also lost weight since giving up the vino (28 pounds but who's counting). When I saw someone last week at the store that I hadn't seen since pre-pandemic and she asked what my secret was, I said "Eating less and moving more." Which is true - partly. But it was what I was able to say at the time. I really appreciate your candid response. I am also grateful to be enjoying food again. My weight has leveled off, and for a while I was concerned because I thought, how could I not be gaining with all that I am eating? But then I thought about the lost calories due to wine, no going out to eat (pandemic), not to mention the extra food you don't need when you are drinking, but that alcohol makes you crave. Kind of shocking to think that I am finally regaining a sense of what it is to eat normally and just maintain weight, rather than counting calories just to be able to guzzle wine calories every day. Yeesh.

ScottFromWI

Glad it went well CBS and congrats on your progress. Your recovery is your business, so you have no obligation to tell anyone about it if you don't want to. And to be honest, very few ( if any ) will ask. Your physical appearance may generate questions but our addiction is really an internal thing - and I think it's also what causes us to obsess about whether people might ask or not. Keep up the good work and if some day the question does come up, just say whatever you feel like saying - and chances are no one will ever ask anyway.

Wrangler95

I tell people that I've retired from drinking.

anxiousrock

I get asked how I lost weight...about 60lbs. And since I can't say bulimia and over exercise, I usually tell them I made life changes....so it's not really a lie.

Hodd

I just said I was drinking too much and stopped to stay healthy. For closer friends, I added that I’d become dependent, and they agreed that I was wise to stop. My friends are normally full of banter and jokes, but on this occasion these were minimal.

No one will have a problem.

A couple of years back, I went on a business trip with colleagues which involved a couple of bars and a restaurant. I had alcohol free beer, water or Chinese tea - they were all curious about my tea and tried some - I looked around the table and saw four overweight guys. It was midweek and there was no need to drink. They must’ve been envious that I, a lot slimmer and healthier than any of them - wasn’t drinking.

So rather than worry what people might think, be proud.

BackandScared

I put on weight after I quit, probably because it gave me the motivation to quit cigarettes too. During the first few months I felt the need to explain, on every social occasion, why I was not drinking, even if I was with total strangers who did not know about my enthusiastic drinking days. I do not feel the need to explain to anybody my choice of drinks any longer because what I drink does not define me any longer. It has stopped saying something about me to others. It is still a massive part of my identity: not drinking tells me I am able of doing anything I put my mind to; it makes me very proud. But I don't see how this would be a relevant speech to others.

If someone asks me directly if I don't drink alcohol I answer, but to be honest, only problematic drinkers have this much interest in your drinking. Most people don't notice what you are or not drinking. When socialising I just order whatever I fancy without alcohol in it. I don't explain why. Can you imagine someone asking you why you are drinking red wine and not white? Or why apple juice instead of lemonade? Because it is what you feel like is the only possible answer, unless you seek other purposes: for instance, contribute to remove the shame towards not drinking alcohol because you became addicted.

nez

By paying more attention to what I put in my body.