Mysteryman

I havent really posted much on here, but Im another 90 days sober.
Ive done this before a few times. Im glad Im here and Im glad Im sober.
I'll be honest, whilst I dont feel like drinking right now, I know its a matter of time before I have a drink. I find myself planning it and I just cant help it. I cannot imagine or fathom a world or a life where I can never drink again.
I also feel like I dont fit in with the recovery community, but I recognise this place is a useful resource for many.
It might be because Im from the UK- Ive never attended meetings, done the 12 steps, the big book, had a sponsor, embraced religion or any of that other stuff. I've always just done my own thing, and its worked for me when ive needed it to.
Hope everyone's ok.

sortofhomecomin

Well, there are plenty of (online and real life) meetings in the UK, AA is quite active there but maybe not for you which is fine.

I also have gotten to and past ninety days on a few occasions and I also have been struggling with what some call euphoric recall (I don't really like the expression, as I did genuinely enjoy much of my drinking, it is not false memories as far as I'm concerned). However I am mostly happy to be sober. I will admit that I don't plan too far into the future, I believe for me it would set me up for relapse. I am currently approximately 8 months sober albeit with several slips which I don't wish to dwell on. I think the best advice for us types who find it difficult to picture and envisage the rest of our lives without alcohol is to take it day at a time.

Btw, if you are interested you are more than welcome to join us on Irish Lifering, we sometimes get English and other nationalities on the meetings:
LifeRing Ireland

Introvrtd1

Hi Mysteryman,

I felt some of what you’re feeling a few years ago when I had 7 months sober...I’m at 94 days now and I’ve long since learned that drinking was no longer giving me the satisfaction anymore so I’m determined to definitely stay sober way beyond 7 months this time.

I hope you can find success in your journey during sobriety....Also wishing you the best. Hang in there and keep posting here to let us know how you’re doing and gain support from this forum.

Ringside

Sorry if I'm being a little thick here but it is unclear to me - do you want to stop drinking? If so, then I strongly suggest reevaluating whether it is true that what you've always done has worked for you.

doggonecarl

Sobriety isn't a punishment. Sorry you feel deprived of drinking.

Mizz

I think it is hard for us to change the way we think about things.
Why did you get sober in the first place?

least

When I got sober for good, I couldn't imagine my life without drinking. But after being sober for a few months, I came to realize I didn't need to drink to enjoy myself. And it became clear to me that when I was drinking, I was not enjoying my life, but was making it more miserable and exhausting.

I too looked at sobriety as a punishment - I couldn't drink. But I came to feel differently and now feel that I don't have to drink anymore. Puts a whole different spin on it.

advbike

I always have a rough time around the 90 day mark because, well, everything is pretty much back to normal. Life is good. Of course the thoughts always come from my AV, suggesting it wasn't so bad. But then I remember the anxiety and night fears I used to get at 3AM - after only 3-4 daily drinks. All the missed workouts. The constant irritation and blaming others for the results of my own bad thinking. The worst part is being dependent on something. It's the opposite of freedom.

Forget it. No more of that for me. It's just not worth it anymore. Life is so much better with a clear mind and honest emotions.

Just look at the reasons why you quit in the first place.

Wishing you the best, thanks for your honest post.

fishkiller

Who said you can never drink again?
We can all easily drink again.. Free will

Thing is we enjoy life so much better without it we Choose not to drink.

90 Days is great but the fact you are missing alcohol shows you may have forgotten why you quit in the 1st place.
I like to reflect on my past drinking life every now and then as a refresher course in misery.
Maybe try and remember why you quit in the 1st place. I have a feeling it was because alcohol was making you unhappy.

I can guarantee you that is exactly what it will do again.

Stick to it. It will get better.

BTW I do not follow any program either other than the one I have developed with the tools I got here.

biminiblue

Sounds like you've already made the decision to go back to the madness.

You can still change that mindset.


"I don't drink and I'll never change my mind."

Below is a link to the non-meeting, non-religious, NO-sponsor, one-stop thread for quitting permanently - on your own.

When you're ready:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-1-a.html (Addictive Voice Recognition Technique (AVRT) Discussion-Part 1)

Mizz

For reals.
My last night of drinking was a gift. The misery that I was in is no way to live this life. Now that I am free from active alcoholism I can see just how hellish my mind and behaviors were. It has taken me a lot of time to get level and to see the benefits, but the gift of hell made me walk a different path. Onwards and upwards.

Mysteryman

Yes, that is probably right.
Its a pattern of behaviour. I know that.

Dee74

Congrats on 90 days
You might have heard me talk about building a sober life you love.
I knew I had to change my life - forever - or I'd go back to my old ways.

what would a sober life you love look like for you?
How can you get there from here?

Figure out how to be sober and happy and you'll never drink again

D