Day 10 - sooo tired
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 870
Day 10 - sooo tired
I’m on Day 10 - the day when I usually fail... but I won’t this time ! I am sooo tired and seem to have heart palpitations. It’s like I was in withdrawal but without the nausea and vomiting. I don’t know what’s the matter with me. I honestly don’t think it has a physical cause. I think it’s a manifestation of all the stress I have been under. So I need to chill... but I’m not very good at that so I’d better learn ! :-)
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Back in the USA
Posts: 2,661
Hang in there Ican...My palpitations were bad....really bad around my 30 day mark....As people here promised, it does get better...Feelings and withdrawal symptoms will fade...Im convinced of it now...
Just hang in there and not give up...Yes, I can understand how much it sucks now....but the symptoms will fade in due time....
Wishing you forward progress...
Intro
Just hang in there and not give up...Yes, I can understand how much it sucks now....but the symptoms will fade in due time....
Wishing you forward progress...
Intro
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Hope you feel better soon ICDT. I notice you become very busy when you get sober and I would expect that you might be fatigued after a week or two of all that you take on. Although I like the baking, haha.
I like what Tomls had to say - maybe just try relaxing into things, not taking on too much. Focusing on the present and not the future or past. Make your sobriety and peace of mind the priority.
And congrats on 10 days!
I like what Tomls had to say - maybe just try relaxing into things, not taking on too much. Focusing on the present and not the future or past. Make your sobriety and peace of mind the priority.
And congrats on 10 days!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 57
Hey there, iCanDoThis,
Yes, you can, and you will. I found this site in December of 2014, and a lucky gal I was for it. I took my last drink, I ditched the dedicated vino glass into the trash, and sat on this site calling into work. I sat here, chatting with a million best friends of my strange life, and they pulled me through when the initial withdrawal hit me. I am still freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee from it all! I know you can get through this once and for all from here on out. The hell started on day two I think, and it was freaking scary. I did not go into the ER until I could see again (lost sight for a while, no exaggeration.) But several here told me to do it, even promise that I would, which I did promise and I did go. From day #1, to withdrawal, to the ER and then home was a good 6-7 days. BUT THE BEST 6-7 DAYS OF MY LIFE.
I tend to write a lot, and outside of offering help and advice to others here, I stay busy.
Yesterday I started a thread (I can't find it now ?) about other's experiences with cirrhosis, as it appears that although I stopped in Dec 2014 with my life, I am not out of the woods. I don't know how long you have been on it, but I beg you to hold on to everything and anything that won't budge no matter how hard you feel it is to stay clear.
6.5 years ago I quit on a dime, and only now is it apparent I really did damage that will remain. Pale this and that, fingernails two/tone pink and white, splotchy red palms, all in the past few months.
Stay here to hold on to your strength, and we will all stay right here with you. For yourself and nobody else, do not drink. If it helps to stay asleep and eating pizza in between, do it. If you have anyone there who can stay by you, call them in.
I had let go of caring about my own life because of so much pain despite how hard I worked and tried my best, I was always a good kid and selfless, so to be struck by crapola all the time... I lowered my gaze, stopped in the middle of pain and picked up a glass.
But the day I stopped, I STOPPED.
The day I started caring, crying, begging MY OWN SELF for forgiveness on my knees, was the day I saw myself with complete 20/20 vision. The mere fact I had allowed myself to get stooped, duped and walloped by the antics of others was too much to endure anymore, and by that I mean enduring their pain and covering it up for them as well as to myself by drinking. I guess I could have drunk, doped, smoked, drugged other stuff, I dunno... but I have never had that around me, so vino was my bandaid of choice.
I said, "YES TO MY LIFE"
I said, "MY BODY IS A TEMPLE"
I said, "REFUSE TO COVER UP THEIR CRAP"
I said, "LET THEM BE WHATEVER THEY WANT TO BE."
I said, finally, "I SET MYSELF FREE. I AM ME WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT. I AM ME WHETHER I LIKE IT OR NOT. I AM BEAUTIFUL, WORTHY, INTELLIGENT, AND HAPPY WHEN I MAKE MY OWN CHOICES FOR MY BETTERMENT."
Then, I stopped drinking, came on here, and that was the first day of the rest of my life. Yes, there is more to be dealt with now, but it would have been impossible to get better had I not stopped when I did.
I guess I want you to just look at all the great things there are about yourself. Put on your favorite shirt, go out there and sit with juice and watch the sunrise or sunset. See the stars at night. Go for a mountain drive.
Love yourself. Peace is within, and it does not matter what the environment looks like with your eyes. Just close your eyes and feel. Let it all out. Keep letting it all out.... over and over and over again.
10 years ago I started going to meditation healing circles where I would take a comfy mat and supportive back pillow. We would sit, breathe, and just.... be led through a meditation. It went for a couple of hours. The reason I am telling you this is because while the other 60 people there were smiling wherever their heads were at in that meditative state, my t-shirt was always wet with my tears. They just kept on flowing out of me, no control. I was not sobbing. It was an excellent catharsis, the tears. Release pain. Keep releasing pain. No matter where I go, because I still do, each instructor comes over to me while my eyes are closed because they know what is happening to me. Pain release. They do not say a word to me, but they dab my eyes, hug me from behind, and pray for me there while everyone else is breathing away like they are happy pink bunnies or something lol.
And, FYI, I was not crying. I felt so much love, it felt like angels drawing it out of me. My eyes wept but I never saw or felt a specific incident. I was happy, meditating away, but tearing....
The instructors always say to let it, or your mind will find other ways to help itself. (and mine did, with alcohol those first 2 years)
Please PM me here if you'd like to know more. I have worked so hard on myself to grow and create a better life, and I would love to share it.
Ciao for now,
Pach
Yes, you can, and you will. I found this site in December of 2014, and a lucky gal I was for it. I took my last drink, I ditched the dedicated vino glass into the trash, and sat on this site calling into work. I sat here, chatting with a million best friends of my strange life, and they pulled me through when the initial withdrawal hit me. I am still freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee from it all! I know you can get through this once and for all from here on out. The hell started on day two I think, and it was freaking scary. I did not go into the ER until I could see again (lost sight for a while, no exaggeration.) But several here told me to do it, even promise that I would, which I did promise and I did go. From day #1, to withdrawal, to the ER and then home was a good 6-7 days. BUT THE BEST 6-7 DAYS OF MY LIFE.
I tend to write a lot, and outside of offering help and advice to others here, I stay busy.
Yesterday I started a thread (I can't find it now ?) about other's experiences with cirrhosis, as it appears that although I stopped in Dec 2014 with my life, I am not out of the woods. I don't know how long you have been on it, but I beg you to hold on to everything and anything that won't budge no matter how hard you feel it is to stay clear.
6.5 years ago I quit on a dime, and only now is it apparent I really did damage that will remain. Pale this and that, fingernails two/tone pink and white, splotchy red palms, all in the past few months.
Stay here to hold on to your strength, and we will all stay right here with you. For yourself and nobody else, do not drink. If it helps to stay asleep and eating pizza in between, do it. If you have anyone there who can stay by you, call them in.
I had let go of caring about my own life because of so much pain despite how hard I worked and tried my best, I was always a good kid and selfless, so to be struck by crapola all the time... I lowered my gaze, stopped in the middle of pain and picked up a glass.
But the day I stopped, I STOPPED.
The day I started caring, crying, begging MY OWN SELF for forgiveness on my knees, was the day I saw myself with complete 20/20 vision. The mere fact I had allowed myself to get stooped, duped and walloped by the antics of others was too much to endure anymore, and by that I mean enduring their pain and covering it up for them as well as to myself by drinking. I guess I could have drunk, doped, smoked, drugged other stuff, I dunno... but I have never had that around me, so vino was my bandaid of choice.
I said, "YES TO MY LIFE"
I said, "MY BODY IS A TEMPLE"
I said, "REFUSE TO COVER UP THEIR CRAP"
I said, "LET THEM BE WHATEVER THEY WANT TO BE."
I said, finally, "I SET MYSELF FREE. I AM ME WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT. I AM ME WHETHER I LIKE IT OR NOT. I AM BEAUTIFUL, WORTHY, INTELLIGENT, AND HAPPY WHEN I MAKE MY OWN CHOICES FOR MY BETTERMENT."
Then, I stopped drinking, came on here, and that was the first day of the rest of my life. Yes, there is more to be dealt with now, but it would have been impossible to get better had I not stopped when I did.
I guess I want you to just look at all the great things there are about yourself. Put on your favorite shirt, go out there and sit with juice and watch the sunrise or sunset. See the stars at night. Go for a mountain drive.
Love yourself. Peace is within, and it does not matter what the environment looks like with your eyes. Just close your eyes and feel. Let it all out. Keep letting it all out.... over and over and over again.
10 years ago I started going to meditation healing circles where I would take a comfy mat and supportive back pillow. We would sit, breathe, and just.... be led through a meditation. It went for a couple of hours. The reason I am telling you this is because while the other 60 people there were smiling wherever their heads were at in that meditative state, my t-shirt was always wet with my tears. They just kept on flowing out of me, no control. I was not sobbing. It was an excellent catharsis, the tears. Release pain. Keep releasing pain. No matter where I go, because I still do, each instructor comes over to me while my eyes are closed because they know what is happening to me. Pain release. They do not say a word to me, but they dab my eyes, hug me from behind, and pray for me there while everyone else is breathing away like they are happy pink bunnies or something lol.
And, FYI, I was not crying. I felt so much love, it felt like angels drawing it out of me. My eyes wept but I never saw or felt a specific incident. I was happy, meditating away, but tearing....
The instructors always say to let it, or your mind will find other ways to help itself. (and mine did, with alcohol those first 2 years)
Please PM me here if you'd like to know more. I have worked so hard on myself to grow and create a better life, and I would love to share it.
Ciao for now,
Pach
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 57
One more thing...
This moment, what is before your eyes right this instant, is all that matters. This point (moment, thought, any sound you hear, anything you feel...) has already passed.
your past is not your present.
Your present is your only NOW.
Bury any thoughts about reputation, past failures, because your reputation is only that you are caring about yourself this moment. That is all your world needs from you. Your attention to your own inner feelings, ideas, thoughts, plans.... They cannot happen unless you let go of the past.
The mere fact that you are on here says you are finished, so let it be... finished.
One foot in front of the other.
Your life is not your past.
Your future in 10 seconds is what you do this instant.
All things are transitory, malleable and your decision tells your body how to react, not the other way around.
I remember driving home from work those first few months... I refused the meds I had been given because of something the gal at the hospital had told me when I asked her where I go for refills LOL. She said, "Well, what will you do when you run out of them? We can't have you getting hooked on something new now, can we!" GULP. Riiiiiight on the button, she was.
I knew driving home from work, I would have to not do what ever I used to do before getting home. Twice, I had such urges that I just sat in my car until almost 9pm until they passed, and then I drove home. I put some great music on, once I even ordered a pizza and had it delivered to me in my car.
I refused to fail my body, my mind, my decision, my future.
That was what I did, and now, I am ready to retire 12 years earlier than before, now with investments for my travel plans and not renting a room out of someone else's house. I even found my daughter after years of pain and searching.
The point is, whatever it is you want to happen, it will follow your actions. It has to.
Omit the middleman, (drink, drug, people, situations....) Hold it all off until it cannot find you anymore. Then, open your eyes, start the car or grab your keys or turn on the tv, cook, what ever it is... just do something else.
x
This moment, what is before your eyes right this instant, is all that matters. This point (moment, thought, any sound you hear, anything you feel...) has already passed.
your past is not your present.
Your present is your only NOW.
Bury any thoughts about reputation, past failures, because your reputation is only that you are caring about yourself this moment. That is all your world needs from you. Your attention to your own inner feelings, ideas, thoughts, plans.... They cannot happen unless you let go of the past.
The mere fact that you are on here says you are finished, so let it be... finished.
One foot in front of the other.
Your life is not your past.
Your future in 10 seconds is what you do this instant.
All things are transitory, malleable and your decision tells your body how to react, not the other way around.
I remember driving home from work those first few months... I refused the meds I had been given because of something the gal at the hospital had told me when I asked her where I go for refills LOL. She said, "Well, what will you do when you run out of them? We can't have you getting hooked on something new now, can we!" GULP. Riiiiiight on the button, she was.
I knew driving home from work, I would have to not do what ever I used to do before getting home. Twice, I had such urges that I just sat in my car until almost 9pm until they passed, and then I drove home. I put some great music on, once I even ordered a pizza and had it delivered to me in my car.
I refused to fail my body, my mind, my decision, my future.
That was what I did, and now, I am ready to retire 12 years earlier than before, now with investments for my travel plans and not renting a room out of someone else's house. I even found my daughter after years of pain and searching.
The point is, whatever it is you want to happen, it will follow your actions. It has to.
Omit the middleman, (drink, drug, people, situations....) Hold it all off until it cannot find you anymore. Then, open your eyes, start the car or grab your keys or turn on the tv, cook, what ever it is... just do something else.
x
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 525
I suggest you see a doctor if you are experiencing heart palpitations. That's what a sober person does.
Beyond that, I think it's fair to say that -- based on my own experience and those I've heard from countless others -- we should expect to experience some meaningful ups and downs in early sobriety. My own recovery is rooted in A.A., and there is a line in the Big Book about recovery being simple but not easy. I understand that to mean that none of the recovery instructions I get from my A.A. sponsor require an advanced degree (most people are capable of understanding instructions like "attend 90 A.A. meetings in 90 days"). But following those simple instructions isn't easy because I am physically, psychologically, and spiritually predisposed to excuse myself from following them and to drink instead -- and that includes the physical and mental turbulence of early sobriety. This is why some people need to check themselves into a rehab in order to string some meaningful early sober days together -- and the Big Book supports that approach. For myself, when I came back into A.A. back in 2002, one of the things that helped me ride out the waves of early sobriety is that I told myself I would complete the Steps but if I still felt as crazy at that point then I'd go drink. Of course, as it says in the Big Book, I was amazed before I was half way through and the obsession to drink was removed and my physical peaks and valleys had settled down. As another saying goes, don't quit before the miracle.
Beyond that, I think it's fair to say that -- based on my own experience and those I've heard from countless others -- we should expect to experience some meaningful ups and downs in early sobriety. My own recovery is rooted in A.A., and there is a line in the Big Book about recovery being simple but not easy. I understand that to mean that none of the recovery instructions I get from my A.A. sponsor require an advanced degree (most people are capable of understanding instructions like "attend 90 A.A. meetings in 90 days"). But following those simple instructions isn't easy because I am physically, psychologically, and spiritually predisposed to excuse myself from following them and to drink instead -- and that includes the physical and mental turbulence of early sobriety. This is why some people need to check themselves into a rehab in order to string some meaningful early sober days together -- and the Big Book supports that approach. For myself, when I came back into A.A. back in 2002, one of the things that helped me ride out the waves of early sobriety is that I told myself I would complete the Steps but if I still felt as crazy at that point then I'd go drink. Of course, as it says in the Big Book, I was amazed before I was half way through and the obsession to drink was removed and my physical peaks and valleys had settled down. As another saying goes, don't quit before the miracle.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 2,828
[QUOTE=Icandothis2013;7616610]I’m on Day 10 - the day when I usually fail... but I won’t this time ! I am sooo tired and seem to have heart palpitations.
Hi icandothis.
I had the same issue when i started unfortunately it takes a bit of time to get back to a normal sleep pattern. I just had to go to bed really early for the first few weeks before i adjusted to falling asleep without alcohol. I was even tired during the day after sleeping all night.
Please stick to it as the rewards are worth it.
Keep at it Icandothis
Hi icandothis.
I had the same issue when i started unfortunately it takes a bit of time to get back to a normal sleep pattern. I just had to go to bed really early for the first few weeks before i adjusted to falling asleep without alcohol. I was even tired during the day after sleeping all night.
Please stick to it as the rewards are worth it.
Keep at it Icandothis
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