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Old 04-04-2021, 01:07 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by anxiousrock View Post
In AA, did you have a sponsor and work and do all 12 steps? If not, give it another try as that is how it works. Spending $250 seems a bit high for something like counseling, and AA is free. But, I'm cheap haha.
I reached out to an AA online forum and contacted a sponsor. We went over the Big Book and the first 3 steps. He asked me to complete my 4th step work and call him back. That was 2 days ago. Last night was torture. A combination of AW and guilt. I finally wrote out my resentments. Hopefully I'll speak to him soon after the holiday.
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Old 04-04-2021, 01:15 PM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Kdon853 View Post
It all starts with not drinking no matter what.it’s hard in the beginning the first 6 months were one of the toughest times of my life. You get through it. AA saved my life but the program did not come to me right away it’s a journey. I wanted that white light experience wouldn’t that be easy. Didn’t happen. I have a sponsor I’ve done the steps and life got better.
I’ve said it here before a lot of times in the first 6 months , my only accomplishment was not drinking that day. Keep it simple in the beginning.
Yea, it was rough day. I'm really depressed. Only had 3 hours asleep. I missed church because I talked myself out it by convincing myself I wasnt dressed fancy enough. Ive never been to church on Easter before, so all I could dwell on is how out of place I would feel. Familiar pattern. That was hard for me to deal with. Not stepping up the courage to stop driving around and get out the car. I ended up just taking my son to McDonald's and thought hard about buying a bottle of red wine. Just drink bottle down quickly and catch a buzz, then I'll stop for good. Crazy. I didnt buy the bottle.
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Old 04-04-2021, 01:28 PM
  # 43 (permalink)  
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Lack of sleep is a tough one, KTB. I hope you sleep better tonight. I'm sure you would have been welcome at Church, but maybe you could try another time. The main thing is that you didn't buy the wine.
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Old 04-04-2021, 02:56 PM
  # 44 (permalink)  
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Yeah, good job passing on the wine.

I agree, you would have always been welcome at church. I hope you can get some sleep and leave the 4th Step alone for a day or two if it's stressing you out right now.

The first week sober with an opposite-sex online sponsor and working on Step 4 seems....hard.

Hug.
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Old 04-04-2021, 04:29 PM
  # 45 (permalink)  
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I'm so glad you didn't buy the bottle KTB. Things will get better in time

D
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Old 04-05-2021, 02:01 PM
  # 46 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by KTB5000 View Post
Yea, it was rough day. I'm really depressed. Only had 3 hours asleep. I missed church because I talked myself out it by convincing myself I wasnt dressed fancy enough. Ive never been to church on Easter before, so all I could dwell on is how out of place I would feel. Familiar pattern. That was hard for me to deal with. Not stepping up the courage to stop driving around and get out the car. I ended up just taking my son to McDonald's and thought hard about buying a bottle of red wine. Just drink bottle down quickly and catch a buzz, then I'll stop for good. Crazy. I didnt buy the bottle.
Hey KTB - are you OK? Those first sober days and weeks can be rough. Your SR friends are here for you!
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Old 04-05-2021, 02:36 PM
  # 47 (permalink)  
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Im going to offer my perspective. Group therapy sessions helped me initially. And occasionally I will jump into one. What really helped me was reading on this forum and a few others. And when I say reading, I mean reading. I have read about 900 threads going back years on here. Reading about other's interaction with alcohol and how they went about getting sober really helped me. I spend 30 minutes at a minimum reading others stories every day. On weekends when I have nothing to do I will spend several hours per day reading others posts.

This helped me especially in early recovery(the first few days) and then its helped me whenever I've felt like drinking.

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