owen90

Hey all

I suffer from a terrible short term memory. Really bad. Even after extended periods of sobriety and using apps like "brain trainers", my short term memory is totally shot at 31 years old... It's so bad I have to check my post history to see if I am repeatedly posting the same topics. It affects my relationship as it makes me seem uncaring when I forget dates/appointments/names.... I have tried writing things down but I then forget to read what I have written down. It's a horrible struggle.

Not sure what the question is....just needed to put this out there. Maybe someone else struggling with this can relate.

Owen

ScottFromWI

Sorry to hear this and it does sound like you have some strategies ( keeping notes, using apps, etc ) that might help. I did suffer from a lot of things related to my drinking that took a long time to improve - especially mentally. Some of them literally took years - can I ask how long your extended periods of sobriety have been? I don't know if you've ever talked to a neurologist or counselor but that might be a good next step too if you haven't.

On a positive note I can tell you that there's no worries if you post multiple times here about the same topic - we all need to keep discussing things related to our sobriety no matter how many times we hear them ;-)

owen90

Hi Scott. I haven't managed a full year sobriety ever; 6 months is my longest stretch since I was 17. So perhaps that is the answer. It is just so bad that I feel dejected as hell sometimes and assume, "well, this is permanent then".

ScottFromWI

Our minds and bodies have a remarkable ability to heal. I have seen some amazing stories of people here on SR who have come from unbelievable dire situations to full recovery over time, you can read them in the daily threads and in the stories of recovery forum. That doesn't mean that everyone can recover from every situation, but for the most part if you can identify your issue and make a concerted effort to improve it - you can.

Take some advice from your own tagline in your signature...I agree with it by the way ;-)

Anna

I hope your memory improves as time goes by, and likely it will. If not, it might be something to talk to your doctor about. I wonder if you're taking medications which could have a side-effect of poor memory? Above all, don't feel so down on yourself about this. You're doing what you can to improve your memory and of course, it helps to have a google calendar which reminds you about dates and you can make use of the Notes app on your phone.

biminiblue

Just as an aside, in all romantic relationships it seems to be the issue that women remember Everything and men not so much. Or at least, we women think we do. We just look at life very differently and store different types of information.

I am 100% certain you are very good at something that your GF is horrible at. That's what partners do - complement one another.

You'll be okay. Go easy on each other.

stickyone

Just a thought maybe you have too much in the brain going on. I would say think of your brain as a bee hive. The bees inside are your thoughts emotions etc. The hive is full but more new bees aka thoughts emotions learning want to come in.

when the new bees enter there isn't enough room for them. Then it becomes a swarm of bees and everything is chaotic. Making it harder for bees to go in or go out.

I hope it makes sense it has helped me. And the brain needs healing and recovery as well like a muscle being over worked.

fishkiller

I too have had memory issues for as long as I can remember.
I think sticky hit the nail on the head.
I am constantly thinking 10 steps ahead whether I should be or not so much does not stick. The brain can only retain so much at one time.

My brain is always going " Round and Round"

Tanky

My short term memory was something I always saw as a complete black spot in myself. Worst thing was names , which I would forget as people introduced themselves, but also every single important date, meeting, etc. I stood people up for lunch (in a work context) purely from forgetting. I sometimes couldn’t recall good friends names if I hadn’t seen them for awhile. I had assumed this was just me. But even after only being on the journey to recovery since October last year and having only 39 days sober now, I have begun to notice a few small changes on that front. I can remember people names more. I turn up to appointments and meetings at work. I am still a long way from being okay at this stuff and have to use all the help I can get from calendar reminders etc. my brain is still racing most of the time. But I feel like it was a lot to do with alcohol. There may be more healing ahead for us both on this front. Xx

Steely

From my understanding memory (mostly) does improve with time, but think you should see a neurologist for your peace of mind.

yojimbo

Once I listened to an audio-book made by a hypnotist person, and it explained somehow that we believe in the illusion that \memory deteriorates with age\, when it somehow develops with age and each memory is still stored in our brains or minds and never completely leaves. I don\t know how it works but I believe in it, since I\ve tested this on older people, and they have faster recall on some things than generally younger people.

advbike

Are you exercising, Owen? Hard aerobic exercise has been found to be very good for the brain, just as it is for the heart. I also like what Sticky said about the bees - there really is something to that - where you can clutter it up with too many trivial things. I use a calendar app for appointments and reminders, and a notes app for things I think of that I want to delve into later. This frees my memory up for things that are important to remember. I also agree with those who mention that it gets better. During the first few months of sobriety my short term recall was terrible.

Steely

I liked the bee analogy too.

My head is buzzing. 🐝

Helianthus

Hi there

l have really suffered with my short term memory/mental clarity since becoming sober, after one incident where l told the same person at work the same important information twice in the space of 10 mins with no recollection of the first time) l felt humiliated and decided to see if there was anything l could do to improve it.

I started with supplements that are supposed to help with brain function/memory/clarity but didn't see much of a difference.

After much research and trying different things l realized it was refined sugar that was the culprit and brain fog causing the lack of mental agility and my lack of ability to concentrate and recall things.

It took about a week after l started cutting out added sugar from my diet during which l had headaches etc but after l was over that l felt great. Everything started to work again and l even felt better immediately upon waking because apparently sugar can cause a type of hangover.

Oh, l also run because exercise is supposed to help aswell but l started that long before reducing the sugar.

l hadn't realized just how much sugar was effecting me until l had quite a bit of candy at Easter and my mental clarity disappeared again, it took me over a week to feel better.

It probably won't be the same for everyone but its a simple thing to try.

Good luck!

Heli